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I just read "Oracle Night" and "In the Country of Last Things", both by Paul Auster, and I am very impressed. His subject matter is very surreal and dreamlike (nightmarish in Last Things), and I recommend him for fans of Steve Erickson, Don DeLillo and Thomas Pynchon.
"Oracle Night" explores...
Don't stop there
... I wrote a book and after many query letters finally got an agent. Unfortunately, the agent was unable to sell the book, and I later learned through some internet searching that the agent was basically "blacklisted" among publishing houses (ie, she'd send her "contacts" the...
Yeah, I'm quite interested. I'm full of ideas, too, and love to write. Fantasy is one of my favorite genres, as long as it's not Tolkien-lite. So I'd be very interesting in co-writing, and I also have a little graphic ability, but not enough to be the primary penciller. However, I'm pretty...
Great
I like it alot. Only one problem for me, and that is the word "emotionlessly." I think you can use a better word.
I get the impression, mainly based on the first paragraph, that we're looking at skeletons at the bottom of a sea, maybe trapped in a sunken pirate ship or something, but...
Heady stuff
You speak like a sage, Dark Marine. Sure you're only 17? ;-)
I'd like to read more. I really have no idea where you're going with this, other than the theme of personal change, which is very important, and I'm intrigued. The writing itself is yours; you are clear, without...
I'm going to try something below; I won't add any words (well, maybe a couple of conjunctions), but I'm going to take some away, just as an experiment. I think you write well, but in my opinion not all of the adjectives/articles/words are necessary and it might flow better with less of them...
Interesting; the plagarizm works as a device, somehow. Maybe you'll start a trend where everyone's swiping lines from famous poems and working them into their own writing (of course it could be argued that tons of people do that already, they just don't acknowledge the source, if they're even...
No, the title is good; it gives the poem context. I also like the structure; it's not too sing-songy or anything annoying like that; it works well. I'd like to read more of your poetry.
Those are good criticisms, but personally I think the vagueness works because it sets a murky tone which is supported by the fact that the first half is being somewhat imagined by the narrator (not the walk in the forest itself, but the danger of being lost in the wilderness). As for the age of...
It's good. The most effective part is the structure/rhythm/"meter" (not precise, I don't think) of the first four paragraphs, specifically the first lines of each. You mirror the same pattern in each, and it's well done. Also, I love the end how you compare the people to the trellis/ivy...
I encourage you to break the mold of a typical murder mystery's layout. Be aware that if you seek publication for the work as a traditional mystery, Cathy's comments might be repeated to you by agents/editors, but as long as you're willing to stick to your guns and face rejection (and every...
You have real talent
It's very good. I like the fragments, especially the first three lines. It's poetic (in a good way; we all hate bad poetry, don't we?) and evocative. Also well done is your use of color (the yellows and greys, etc.) and the mention of the smell of leather and peanuts...