Someone tell me this.

I haven’t been a member long enough to have seen when this forum was an “incredible place.” There are some very good folks here, interesting, intelligent people with a wonderful sense of humor. But I’ve also noticed that there are a few people that never seem to have a good thing to say about anything and some that seem to enjoy being nasty for the sake of being nasty. It does wear thin after awhile.

I love to read. I often pick up a book and get excited about what I’m reading and I would love to discuss it with others. But when I started to post about some of the books I read, I received a heavy dose of ridicule from members that made a point to make sure I knew they didn’t like the books I read and didn’t think much about anybody that read them. Not just once mind you, but again and again and again. Again, it does wear thin after awhile.

It’s possible that I may cause some of the problems because people react so strongly to my conservative views. It seems that conservative views are not welcome by all.

Of course, politics is one thing, but it was uncalled for when someone had a nasty remark for me when I wrote a little about my day.

Last but not least, the name-calling has got to go.

It does seem there's a lot of people afraid to talk about books on this book forum I read 2-3 a week and I never post about them because frankly I don't want to be attacked.

Thanks for proving the point, bobby.

I'm just hiding my love for you guys behind a mask of low-key hostility.

Martin said:

Not just the spamming.

It's the atmosphere. Something changed. Suddenly, this place went from the best place on the net to a place I don't enjoy being at anymore. I know that's simply personal preference, but I have heard from others that they have noticed a change, too, whatever the hell it is.

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Yeah I've noticed a change. I can tell you exactly when it changed for me too but I don't wish to piss and moan about something I can't change. The enjoyment I get from being here has gone downhill and frankly it feels like work avoiding my particular problem with the site. At least I can say I had a brief period after joining that was heaps of fun before things took a downward turn for me. It used to be that I could come to this site and just from reading would add a handful of books to my TBR list daily. That hasn't happened in ages. I do think that my 'problem' with the site has stifled constructive discussion. So, I've taken less interest lately and will bide my time in hopes that my problem goes away.

I knew you really loved us

Ronny said:

It does seem there's a lot of people afraid to talk about books on this book forum I read 2-3 a week and I never post about them because frankly I don't want to be attacked.

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Please do though. I never open new threads on books either cause I figure no one will be interested, but if everybody thinks that way, nothing would get posted.

(Yes, I'm telling you to do something I won't do myself. )

The problem is me. I joined about 5 months ago. So that seems about right. 30,000 General Chat posts have developed since my joining (maybe more- just guessing here). Although I do stagger off to the insane isle once in a while, I have proven to be an asset (ass-something) to the Writers Block and Writers Showcase sections on this forum.

Personally I could live without the General Chat area, but it's fun to visit once in a while to converse with members about nothing.

Maybe the rules here should change... start warning people more often for vulgarity, stupidity, etc.; delete/merge repetitive threads; close those that simply improper and of no worth to this site. Last week I started a thread called "What's your favorite swear word" or something similar just to see how long it would take the moderators to close it down. Ice was right on, and had that baby closed in minutes. But then other threads get started showing avatar cutouts of members crucified on a cross, and it stays up for days an days.

Just some thoughts...

If it will help the forum, I will leave.

Hmmmmm, it appears that we have a problem with bullies and clowns. Both rabidly deny they do anything wrong, but people in this thread maintain otherwise. Correct Martin?

That's a big part of it, I think, yes.

Ronny said:

There does seem there's a lot of people afraid to talk about books on this book forum I read 2-3 a week and I never post about them because frankly I don't want to be attacked.

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It's a real concern that people don't feel free to talk about the books they want and in the way they want to. Ronny, I wish you and others would post. You know who the attack-mode people are - put them on your ignore list and carry on without responding. I know it's difficult, but it's the only viable way to make the forum into what you want.

The only other alternative is for mods to take a hardline on postings, but then it becomes far too subjective in my opinion. How do you judge *hostility*? I agree there is unwanted/unwarranted hostility on the boards, but can you control someone else's hostility? Should you even try?

My plea: Take back the boards and make them into what you want.

ell

SFG75 said:

Hmmmmm, it appears that we have a problem with bullies and clowns. Both rabidly deny they do anything wrong, but people in this thread maintain otherwise. Correct Martin?

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the sad thing is that people that isnt really to blame, get to think this threads are meant for them, when the issue is the general state of the forum, and the possible has been done to avoid pointing fingers

Hear hear, to the both of you.

Ell said:

It's a real concern that people don't feel free to talk about the books they want and in the way they want to. Ronny, I wish you and others would post. You know who the attack-mode people are - put them on your ignore list and carry on without responding. I know it's difficult, but it's the only viable way to make the forum into what you want.

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That has not worked for me. Posters that seem bent on causing disruption ruin threads. Doesn't matter that I can't see their posts, I do still see the wreckage they cause. I enter threads that look promising and any merit is destroyed by an asshole.

Ell said:

The only other alternative is for mods to take a hardline on postings, but then it becomes far too subjective in my opinion. How do you judge *hostility*? I agree there is unwanted/unwarranted hostility on the boards, but can you control someone else's hostility? Should you even try?

My plea: Take back the boards and make them into what you want.

ell

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The problem with taking the boards back is you can end up entering a war with someone you have no interest communicating with at all. I've moderated a few forums and almost always with an iron fist. I let a lot go by but as soon as something is disruptive to the goal of the board it's gone. It doesn't make everyone happy but in the long run it was the only way I could be satisfied I was keeping the forums as a good place to be.

sirmyk, I really hope this is sarcasm that I can't read between the lines. I've never known your posts to be derogatory or condescending to anyone. Although, I can't honestly say I've read em all.

the thing is, i don't care if people point a finger at me because i joke about ass pinching and what not..fine. but i have posted, not very often, in other parts of the forum and then proceeded to feel like an idiot because i liked certain books or my opinions were wrong. why would i keep going in there to come out looking and feeling like a tool. i have enough crap to deal with then having perfect strangers make me feel inadequate. so, like others, i feel more comfortable in general chat. i ignore the threads that don't interest me or seem to be taking a turn for the worse. there are a handful of people i get a kick out of (that does include you sirmyk, so i hope you don't leave) and give me a laugh. as for the cursing, i cannot make any promises i will stop, but will certainly make a valiant effort to do so as to not offend anyone.
it is unforunate that members like martin, who've been here for so long, feel the forum has taken an ugly turn. it is a great place and a lot of laughs. and i have read some really great books i may not have heard about from belonging to this forum. but, such as in life, couldn't you just ignore the ones that bring hostile views (or whatever it is you don't like) in the hopes they will just quietly walk away?

How can I ignore the hostility and the spamming if those two aspects are affecting the entire forum. The tensions are noticable in the very way people now communicate on the boards, if they still communicate at all.

Maybe that's it. There's no communication anymore - everything that's being said is either a) a silly joke, or b) a sly (or not so sly) dig.

Another point I gave some thought is the older members. Where the hell are they?

Small note: ricky, jenn and sirmyke - this is not directed at you, not at anyone, really. In fact, it's directed at everyone, the community.

ricky said:

the thing is, i don't care if people point a finger at me because i joke about ass pinching and what not..fine.

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and again no one is pointing at you, as a matter of fact you are one of the members i care as to drop by every then and now

ricky said:

but i have posted, not very often, in other parts of the forum and then proceeded to feel like an idiot because i liked certain books or my opinions were wrong. why would i keep going in there to come out looking and feeling like a tool. i have enough crap to deal with then having perfect strangers make me feel inadequate. so, like others, i feel more comfortable in general chat. i ignore the threads that don't interest me or seem to be taking a turn for the worse.

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but, such as in life, couldn't you just ignore the ones that bring hostile views (or whatever it is you don't like) in the hopes they will just quietly walk away?

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it seems thats what you are doing now, but also is what some of us have been doing for the last few months, and guess what, i hasnt walked away

martin..in no way do i feel picked on or anything. like i've said earlier, i know that i am guilty of spamming, goofing off and all of that. i am more curious to know exactly, and maybe you can't pinpoint a moment when you said, 'ugh, this forum is getting bad'.....i know there have been times, when even i, the sister of the spam goddess herself , thought oh my god, this is a bit nuts......

ricky, no one's pointing fingers at you over the GC threads. The real concern is on the book threads where people like you don't feel comfortable posting.

ions, ruling with an iron-fist and deleting threads just because you don't like them becomes somewhat nazi-like don't you think. My idea of what's objectionable might just be a misreading of someone's strongly-worded but, nonetheless, valid opinion. It's one thing to have rules about language, politics and religion, but quite another to judge that the tone of a thread is not to one's liking. It's not that I disagree with you, just that it's hard to make it work on a book forum where ideas and opinions should be celebrated.

ell

I have 8.000 posts to my name - I invented spamming.

And no, I can't pinpoint it. I guess somewhere around the point when I 'left'.