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Your Name Please

"Your name" is actually two names. The first part is given to you by your parents and it helps them to distinguish you from your little sister, what's-her-name? For instance, if your mother shout "Jesus" in expasperation, you will know that she is not talking about you, specifically (Unless your parents named you Jesus.) It serves just about the same purpose in your later life, so when your wife calls the local bar at 2 a.m. looking for you, she'll be able to tell them which worthless drunk you are. (unless there are two or more "Ralphs" in the joint, then it gets confusing which worthless drunk better get home before his wife burns his underwear.)

It behooves parents to use names that are gender specific, so that your son, Sue, doesn't end up in a Johnny (the diminutive of John) Cash song. If the parents can't be sure of their child's sex, due to some congenital defect, there are also non-sexual names, such as Pat. These names are also becoming more common since the parents nowadays have no idea if their issue will someday want a sex-change operation, preferably performed in Thailand.

So, to avoid the confusion inherent in the "Ralph" syndrome, mentioned above, most people have a last name (with the exception of the artist formerly known as Prince, who now has no name at all.) The second name, sometimes called a surname, is passed down patriarchally, usually by your father unless, of course, you're a little bastard. Then you'll have her surname unless your mother can pin it on one of her ex-boyfriends (or clients, also known as Johns) with a paternity suit. (Not to be mistaken for the counterpart of "maternity clothing)

Many newborns are also saddled with a middle name, usually for a distant relative (distant often meaning away in prison.) But this is not important, because, on the loan applications, it only asks for your middle initial (also referred to as your "M.I", which is not to be confused with Michigan or the Marianas Islands, of which the largest island is Guam and the capitol is Agana, in case you ever get that answer on Jeopardy because Jeopardy is the only place where the answer comes before the question.

This brings up patrimony, which sometimes has nothing to do with matrimony. If this comes into play, you'll end up with exactly the same name as your father, passed down, which you must remember because loan applications also ask if you are a junior or a II, which is ridiculous because two of the letter I can not possibly add up to "the second." The practice of naming a child (preferably a boy child) after the father is usually reserved for the wealthy, since they seldom have to fill out loan applications, and is NEVER used in trailer parks, since they might have warrants out for the father, which could cause problems for the child since they don't have diaper changing stations in prisons.

And I hope I have answered your original question, which was:

What significance does your name have?

Take care,

JohnB
 
WriterJohnB said:
"Your name" is actually two names. The first part is given to you by your parents and it helps them to distinguish you from your little sister, what's-her-name? For instance, if your mother shout "Jesus" in expasperation, you will know that she is not talking about you, specifically (Unless your parents named you Jesus.) It serves just about the same purpose in your later life, so when your wife calls the local bar at 2 a.m. looking for you, she'll be able to tell them which worthless drunk you are. (unless there are two or more "Ralphs" in the joint, then it gets confusing which worthless drunk better get home before his wife burns his underwear.)

It behooves parents to use names that are gender specific, so that your son, Sue, doesn't end up in a Johnny (the diminutive of John) Cash song. If the parents can't be sure of their child's sex, due to some congenital defect, there are also non-sexual names, such as Pat. These names are also becoming more common since the parents nowadays have no idea if their issue will someday want a sex-change operation, preferably performed in Thailand.

So, to avoid the confusion inherent in the "Ralph" syndrome, mentioned above, most people have a last name (with the exception of the artist formerly known as Prince, who now has no name at all.) The second name, sometimes called a surname, is passed down patriarchally, usually by your father unless, of course, you're a little bastard. Then you'll have her surname unless your mother can pin it on one of her ex-boyfriends (or clients, also known as Johns) with a paternity suit. (Not to be mistaken for the counterpart of "maternity clothing)

Many newborns are also saddled with a middle name, usually for a distant relative (distant often meaning away in prison.) But this is not important, because, on the loan applications, it only asks for your middle initial (also referred to as your "M.I", which is not to be confused with Michigan or the Marianas Islands, of which the largest island is Guam and the capitol is Agana, in case you ever get that answer on Jeopardy because Jeopardy is the only place where the answer comes before the question.

This brings up patrimony, which sometimes has nothing to do with matrimony. If this comes into play, you'll end up with exactly the same name as your father, passed down, which you must remember because loan applications also ask if you are a junior or a II, which is ridiculous because two of the letter I can not possibly add up to "the second." The practice of naming a child (preferably a boy child) after the father is usually reserved for the wealthy, since they seldom have to fill out loan applications, and is NEVER used in trailer parks, since they might have warrants out for the father, which could cause problems for the child since they don't have diaper changing stations in prisons.

And I hope I have answered your original question, which was:

What significance does your name have?

Take care,

JohnB
Click to expand...

I find you annoying....
 
My first name is after my Germanic/Russo heritage, and my middle name was the name of my mother's first child, who died from SIDS, sudden infant death syndrome.
 
My parents chose my name purely because they liked it. Boring really. When i have kids il choose names that mean something to me. I like celtic names. I want my child to hate me so il give them some obscure name they cant spell :) ;)
 
While I didn't read all of WriterJohnB's post, and I think he went a bit overboard to make his point, I admit I did find it amusing.

Anyway, my real name, Jennifer, means something like "fair" or "white." It comes from the original form of Guenivere (Gwenhyffer or something like that; I can't remember how it's spelled).

It's not significant, though. My parents just liked it.
 
Well. . My sister picked my first name when she was like 5 . And my middle name was supposed to be Jean( which is my mothers middle name) But they decided to change it to elizabeth at the last min.
 
I was (fittingly, I suppose, considering where I am writing this) named after a book, "Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm."
 
I couldn't tell you where my parents actually first heard the name "Vicki" but I do know they struggled to come up with a name they both liked, and I'm very glad I wasn't a boy(my dh is too, btw) since all there was only one girl on my dad's side of the family and all the 'good' boy names of the era were taken already. I'm doubly glad my dad didn't realize til after my middle name was inked on the birth certificate, that I was born on his late mother's birthday..other wise I'd have had to deal with Vicki Fay instead of Vicki Sue..which was bad enough! Even worse was what my mom called me and my sister before we were born.."Archibald!" She was a strange woman, my mother:p
 
For some reason my parents never had a boy name picked out for me, I can't believe that for some reason. However, I'm girl so I shouldn't be too concerned. They named me after their favorite actress Madeline Kahn. Although my mom loving weird spellings and unusally names she spelled it Madelyne. Most of my life I've gone by Maddie (which is also spelled differently from most Maddie's I've seen). As I get older I like my name more, but not really the meaning: Woman of Magdala. I'm also one for names with meaning. My middle name has been given to the first born daughter since my Great great grandmother, Jane. My last name I'm quite prideful about it's a strange German name and is a small town in Germany. :D
 
My name, Jacinta, was chosen because my parents liked it (they first saw the name Jacinda, but decided they liked the variation better). It comes from Spanish roots, and I believe it comes from the name for a mountain flower, the Hyacinth.
 
My name doesn't have much significance other than it was what my family finally settled on.

My mom wanted to name me Margaret, my dad wanted to name me Henrietta... My sister (who was seven at the time) convinced them that those were horrible names and so my sister actually came up with my real name. Lets just say I'm glad she stepped in. :p
 
My first name is Hebrew for "little ewe," or lamb. My middle name is after my great grandmother whose birthday I was born on. My maiden name is Engish and my married name is German for teeth.
 
Derek.

And my mom named me after a fat contestant who fell down while spinning The Big Wheel on The Price Is Right, taking Bob Barker down with him. :rolleyes:

Seriously.

She said it was "the final straw" and that she'd always loved the name. :D
 
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