Can you understand this?

plainly said, think about how a normal person would say it, not what looks good on the page. i actually perfer to write with a bit of an accsent (sp), like instead of "okay" i would put "'kay" or something of the like, depending on the speaker.

also, those words are to big for me to understand, and i have a pretty big vocabulary. though i am not sure of the audience you are writing for....

Maybe that's the problem......

In writing my novel 181, I am thinking about " the normal description " of a particular something. What I see, what I feel, what I say or do, as well as the other persons of the story.

When I say any idiot can write the obvious, I mean any idiot can write the obvious about anything.

The sun is up, it's bright, warm, there may be insects flying around, someone may lick their lips, someone may wipe the sweat off their brow, chewing gum may be stepped on and stretched out.

Well yeah, duh. I feel the obvious and plain description just doens't work for me. It's boring, it's simple, and without even guessing I know it's been written a million times before in a billion stories.

A little complexity can't hurt, even something out of grammar.

Most people recognize " ebonics " as a language all it's own black people speak. No one's going to tell them to stop and speak plain english using proper grammar, but after awhile people eventually get the idea of what is said.


Not that my novel is written that way but for people like you who cling onto only being able to understand something if it's perfectly within the parameters of proper grammar so much so you avert your eyes when you see something that's not; - I think is completely rediculous.
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Chapter One - Page Three
http://www.bookandreader.com/forums/writers-showcase/17109-181-chapter-one-page-three.html


What am I describing here?

I'm on a plane looking out the window, so amazed at what I see, nothing but blue sky and clouds.

It's not enough to write : Wow, that's a pretty sky. Gee, look at those puffy clouds; everything looks so wonderful from up above.

Well yeah, duh.

What I need to do is to write something complex. I liken the sky to the varying shades of blue. A blue that never changes from the lightest to the darkest.

Like with the last page of text I posted on this website, even if to Eva and some of you, it's not proper grammar or " the proper way " to begin, end or indifferentiate between sentences, the description of something, or writing the starting a conversation and then have it interrupted with a description of something else;

- all of that - hard cutting a reader from one thing to the other is the uniqueness and complexity that I'm looking for.

I don't want the reader always focused on one thing at a time, sometimes I may want a reader to experience things the way I sometimes do. Not in order, out of order, jumbled, twisted, discombobulated and as I keey saying. Complex.


Thanks.

You ask for our opinions and then call us "rediculous" (your spelling is as atrocious as your grammer, by the way) when we answer with them. You've asked people, who read so much that we post on a forum about books on a regular basis, what we think of your writing and if we can understand it. We answered honestly and immediately you jumped on your high horse and basically said that we can only understand something that "any idiot can write".

So, I'll just post for you what you wish to see and I'm finished with this. Your writing is so intricate and unique! You are obviously a literary genius and I look forward to seeing your Pulitzer Prize-winning books on the shelves soon.

The purpose of the question.

When I ask " can you understand this "

I'm interested in the responses and the arguments.

I figure if I complete this story and submit it to literary agents and publishers, I can get some idea of what they will say and why, assuming any of them think like you people do.

I'm a relative " newcommer " to the literary game. My talent, assuming I have any is of course raw, so as I refine it I'll get a sense of wether I can make something out of nothing, or if I'm just wasting my time.

As I said before in past messages months ago, this urge won't be fully eviscerated* unless I write a full and complete story from beginning to end.

Even if it's forever read by me and me alone, it satisfies that.

*(an interesting reflexive pronoun I used and yes, that's the correct spelling )