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Try hobnobs and Mars bars. Those usually slow them down, at least for a little while. Oh, and pictures of Paris Hilton. Don't know why my penguins have begun to pester you. In fact, I didn't think they were allowed back in England after the unfortunate affair in Trafalgar Square that got...

LSAT!!!! :eek: Go back to the light, True, go back to the light! Irene Wilde

Only twice a day? :( Welcome back, True. Glad to know it wasn't my prose that sent you away. :) Irene Wilde

Only resurrecting this business momentarily to explain that the week of October 12 is "Irene Wilde's Moments of Unpleasantness Week" when I am subject to bouts of ill-temper and unreasonableness, among other afflictions. Apologies to any hit by the shrapnel of my foul moods. Irene Wilde

Well then I guess it's time for me, the penguins, and my x-rated prose to mosey on down the road and look for a new home. Irene Wilde

And now, because you have all displeased me on this thread (Mssrs. Burns, Enema & Oblivion excepted), I must ask the most evil* insidious question of all: Why do you build me up, Buttercup baby, just to let me down? May it plague your minds for days! <*evil laugh*> Irene Wilde *Evil...

You meet a naive wealthy woman and she falls madly in love with you. On your wedding day, to show her gratitude to God for sending you to her, she gives her entire fortune to the church. And while she was naive and wealthy, she was ugly as sin, had the personality of a brick wall, and she's...

I have at last discovered the contents of the deleted post. I don't know which is sadder: the censorship or the complete lack of humor. My esteem for this place just plummeted. :( Irene Wilde

<*Poof*> You are a writer. You have the greatest novel of all-time planted into your brain. <*Poof*> You have writer's block. :) I rather enjoyed that! :) I wish....nah, not that one. :o I wish I could visit Spain. Irene Wilde

Oh, all right. Just explain this whole meaning of life thing and we'll call it even. :cool: Irene Wilde

Glad I could clear that up for you. :) Now, Mr. Burns -- Who'll stop the rain? Is there life after life? Is there life after death? Do you love me, now that I can dance? Will you still love me tomorrow? And of course, What you lookin' at boy? Irene Wilde

Fingers crossed for you! Perhaps you'll be offered a situation in Nanaimo, a little town on Vancouver Island, BC, and one of the prettiest spots you'll ever see. :) But nanny-ing is hard work, almost as hard as being a Mom! :) Irene Wilde

They kill Cartman, and every other resident of South Park except Kenny. The program is quickly canceled because everyone knows Tweak and Big Gay Al were the funniest characters they had. I have already recognized the inherent corruption of all my great wishes, so I keep them locked away, but...

A friend and a good soul. Irene Wilde

Thank you,Mssrs. Burns and Oblivion! I'll sleep better tonight having those questions settled in my mind. Unless I discover there were more questions lurking behind those questions! :eek: Irene Wilde

I don't know your circumstances, but I do know that love doesn't conquer all, life is unfair, and sometimes, no matter how much you love or are loved, there's no happily ever after (which is a very painful lesson to learn). That said, you don't stop loving. First, you cry. Then, you hurt for...

Mr. Enema, were you blatantly talking about vegetablarians again? :) Mr. Burns -- Answers! I demand Answers! And here's more questions: Why must I be a teenager in love? Do you know the muffin man? Why do fools fall in love? Who wrote the book of love? If a tree falls in...

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? Why does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight? What's the purpose of Wyoming? How did my penguins track down Silly Wabbit 6,000 miles from LA? Is there a cure for chronically falling...

Hello Tyler, and Welcome! I'm a little confused by the question, so forgive, but are you asking about books we've read in the last five years or books we've read which were published in the last five years? I'm afraid my tastes tend to run to books from the last century and by the time I...

:) Irene Wilde