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This is very "passive" writing; notice how much you use "is," "was," "wasn't," etc. Also, try not to "tell" so much. What I mean is, when you say "Jack was more ripped than before," you should demonstrate this, rather than just tell it. "Jack turned the knob to open the bathroom door and...

Good. You start with a hook and then jump right into the action. I don't like preachy stories, but you managed to avoid being blatant. Nice writing. JohnB

I'd hazard a guess (since RobertD's blog is in French) that English is not this author's first language. RD, why don't you look for publication in Francais and leave it up to professional translators to carry your thoughts over into another language? Take care, JohnB

Hey, clueless, my last post was about the Wergle Flomp poetry contest, nothing to do with the link that you put up. But since you led me there, here's a quote from that very article. "If you’re good enough to win a prize, you’re good enough to get published in a legitimate publication on...

Do you feel better now? You, of no achievements at all, to personally attack me and call me an idiot. Have you ever had your I.Q. (That's short for Intelligence Quotient) tested? I've had mine tested twice, for job-related reasons, and they didn't call me an idiot. Actually, genius was the...

Stewart said it was a scam on the second posting to this thread. Here's a definitive example of poetry.com's operations. The Wergle Flomp Poetry Contest is inspired by Wergle's creator, poet David Taub. Mr. Taub submitted "Flubblebop" to poetry.com's ongoing contest to see what would happen...

What a coincidence. My next door neighbor was also selected to be a semi-finalist. Small world, isn't it? JohnB

Robert, I really like this story. Have you submitted it for publication? But why are they keeping him half-starved and in such a poor environment, even when he's cooperating? He's not an enemy or anything. This much privation and isolation might damage him psychologically and what good...

Vienna sausage, no doubt.

I agree. More power to him. I preferred the old style, but his stories are still excellent. JohnB

I wonder if he's just gotten verbose, and can get away with it because of his rep. I was at an antique mall yesterday and they had "The Stand" in the original manuscript format. It was 130,00 words longer than the edited version. To me a story needs to be tight. By that, I mean that the...

Sevenwritez, I have started a novel based on my experiences then, but it kind of withered on the vine. Maybe I'll get back to it soon. Yes, I've read King's Hearts in Atlantis (listened to audio version, actually, which sets the tone by including music from the era) and it's one of his...

Mx, Have you thunk this one through? I remember seeing in one of your posts that you're planning to use your poems in your upcoming novella. If ipoetry is published in any form beforehand, and you include it in the novella, you won't be able to sell First North American Serial Rights to the...

I was in the navy (65-78) and was apalled at the attitude after I got back to the states in 69. I'd been stationed on Guam for a year and a half and then on a cruiser on the Tonkin Gulf, so I didn't know how the political climate had changed. I was reviled for the uniform I wore so proudly...

Biblical Bull-crap. English wasn't even in use 2500 years ago.

_____________________________________________________ Andrew Dice Clay further says in frustration that the book is how he writes it, with kind of a New York/New Jersey, Brooklyn/Bronx accent in each sentence as to how he talks, off spelling, etc. But as you might guess critics in the...

I agree about sloppy punctuation. The actual text is pretty good, but I was a bit unclear that it was the stranger speaking in the last Para. Take care, JohnB

I'm assuming you mean a degree in the literary field? I'm in a writers group with 2 Eng. Lit professors and an Eng. teacher. As for me, I've only had HS and the school of hard knocks and I hold my own as long as they're not referring to the more obscure classics. I think that the most...

Yes, it appears that homeland security is doing its job, doesn't it?

Val, You're right on. Nick, I didn't attack anyone. Go back and read the posts. Sevenwrites, Apology accepted and I apologize to you. I only took exception to your language, which was a personal attack. You (and everyone else) are welcome to not like my writing or comments.