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Maybe that is constructive criticism. It might motivate us to study for the moron test. At the end I'm hoping to catch up to you, SevenWritez, and become an ignoranus, i.e. a person who is both stupid and a sphincter.

So oral sects would be a televangelist who wasn't a member of organized religion? JohnB (Also known and Thrustnmoan)

It's them damm Emirits what we has to watch out for, them what went and got united again us. Holy Ecclesiasticals, Batman!

All my best wishes, Stewart. JohnB

I don't even play with a full deck. JohnB

But apparently not easy to write because your writing is disjointed and nonsensical, not to mention poor grammar, spelling and incomplete sentences. It's a poor parody.

"Her breasts are naked and hang forth to suck, but hands as these cannot sooth to fonder her mystery therewith" I sometimes also have this problem. And I've often fondered this mystery. "And hath let ejected in her the Seamen of their own Abomination!" I was a seaman once, but I never...

Yes, I did enjoy it and it's very well written, as I said. Almost all of us need criticism; I belong to a critique group with two english lit profs, a HS english teacher and a former editor, along with a few others. Many is the time they've laughed their asses off at some of my odd situations...

kb, It's good writing, but I found it a bit choppy, and it needs some proofreading. "living their carefree, unfathomably young life" (lives) I found it unbelievable that a doctor would shoot someone to ask him what he was doing, and I think most people would recognize their brother even...

Okay, a day of researching later, I finally followed the clues you left on your profile and learned you are, indeed, selling short stories. So they really sell, huh? Cooool! Congrats.

Oh, it's just for books, not stories. That complicates things for me, because I have an agent and I can't screw up the rights for my finished novels. But I do retain the rights for my one published novel and I could put it up there. I've heard that a few already successful authors have...

Hmm, I have a LOT of stories that I retain reprint rights for. Maybe I'll check it out. Thanks, SFC

I believe it's because the editors receive a disproportionately large volume of poorly written 1st person submissions.

You must have changed something in your life, because you're now giving us coherent, meaningful work rather than disjointed words. Although the content is too crass for my usual tastes, this has a message. And the belly button thing on the moon was pretty good, too. And the disjointed words...

I liked it a lot. The ending was quite amusing and brought "Man of La Mancha" to mind, a la tilting at windmills. IMHO, as a suggestion, you don't need the first paragraph; let the reader draw the conclusions. Not to mention the good writing, also. Take care, JohnB

There's a thread going on at http//:www.samsdotpublishing.com about 1st vs 3rd person where writers and editors are giving their opinions. On their message board. You might find it interesting to see what editors think on the subject. Personally, I prefer to use 3rd for nearly all my work...

Dare we hope? Woo-hoo!

That's not a nightingale, it's a chickadee.