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Gotta admit, the last sentence cracked me up. It is so antithetical to the first sentence. Good job, though it's sort of short and narrative for a story. I'd suggest you not call it a fucking rock in the middle, it goes against the grain of loving the rock. Take care, JohnB

Doc, You say you have novels published on-line, but don't give a link. How is anyone supposed to get to them? JOhnB

December, Yes, you're probably dreaming. But it can be done, supposedly. First, though, you're only a writer until you've finished a project, then you're the author. You're not a published author until you SELL a story, poem, or book to a legitimate magazine, publisher, etc. If you publish it...

RJ, The main things is, your advice is solid. And I don't see a problem with promoting yourself while trying to help new writers. Any writer who doesn't promote himself/herself needs to break out of the shell and blow their own horn (mixed metaphor, huh?). As for the accidental pasting of a...

Blue, This was quite confusing. You introduced 5 characters in 7 paras and head-hopped the whole while. Take a few moments to describe each character and then introduce them to your MC, while staying in the MC's Point-of-View. Take your time and draw me (the reader) into the story. I can't...

This was unbelievably hard to read. It's a strange format and you begin, in the first paragraph, with 4 sentences beginning with Mr. Omar Abdullah and then 6 beginning with South Africa, and 3 beginning with The country. A writer must vary sentence structure to avoid boring the reader. You...

My new novel, THE PRISONERS OF GENDER, will be released this Monday, Sept. 7. It’s at Eternal Press eBooks high quality reading and entertainment at an affordable price There will be a “launch party” all day Monday at EternalPressReaders : Eternal Press Readers What’s it about? A...

Yes. It's happened. If it can be shown that there's a pattern of "re-writing" in your book, a jury will convict on charges of plagiarism. JohnB

Wow, you're putting too many obstacles in your way. Follow the old Chinese proverb: a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. Get a chapter on (I was going to say paper, but we don't do that anymore, do we) your c-drive and see what you think of it. I started my first novel on...

Yeah, except there's no excerpt there. JohnB

Thanks for your honest reply. I always hate to be critical, but I feel it's more important to give an honest opinion. The best thing ever to happen to me as a writer was to join a critique group where I could find out what I was, am and will be doing wrong. I just got a reply back from an...

I don't want to hurt your feelings, but have you tried reading your poetry aloud? Rhyming poetry must do more than rhyme, it must have rhythm and meter and flow. Especially poetry for children, who can be captivated by the "beat" of a poem. That's why Dr. Seuss was so successful. Not...

Thanks for bumping this thread to the forefront, Zolipar, I hadn't seen it before. And when I googled Jack Neigut (as he himself suggested), I got not only the original TIMEKEEPER, but also found TIMEKEEPER III, on write.com. I read both in their entirety on my lunch hour and still had some...

Chris, Nicely done. I enjoyed the chapter and also checked out your homepage. Good luck with the book and the future. JohnB

Since you said, "check it out," and didn't ask for critique, I won't go there. But I was quite confused by the sequence of events and would suggest you have this reviewed by someone other than family and friends. Sorry, JohnB

There are some spelling problems and overwriting, such as using the word "travel" four times in one para. Just say he's exhausted and be done with it. Also, we know his pack is on the ground, why do you say "beside his pack?" Would someone so tired stare at an apple for "several minutes?"...

Book signings probably ain't the way to go, but what else do we have? I do book fairs, read for children, hand out business cards, get involved in forums, get short stories published, have a web site, tried author's den (like you, I see) etc., but I'm still small fry. My daughter writes one...

It's good, but I'd lose the last line unless this is really about your own life. You've just told us how he lives through the son's love in the whole story, don't insult the reader by implying he might not have caught the "moral." The first para is clunky. I'd suggest losing the first line...

It got good when you finally got to it. You bored the hell out of me before then. You need some way to build up tension, a bit of foreshadowing. And why are the Mulhollands in this story? They have no purpose and muck it up. Now, if the Mulhollands (Make Mrs. Mulholland Aurel's sister) are...