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Good luck on the short story, Stewart. Gem, I participated in a short story boot camp in January, put on by Borderlands Press. You can read about my experience < here >. I highly recommend such camps, classes, etc., if not only to get you in touch with other writers out there.

Some members use words even they don't understand. See below: Who the tuck falks like this? I thought E/A/Poe died...

"Car wreck" is a good analogy, but only if the driver is a Shakespeare enthusiast with a frog stuck in his throat.

Can we get rid of stickies in general. They're kind of annoying, especially now that they are blue.

Call me Jame Gumm.

This is like one of those Highlights magazines, where one must find how many things are wrong with the picture on the back cover. Anyone want to take a stab at the quoted sentence above?

So... ...which is why I routed manuscriptx down the Lulu path. And although I am capable of sitting in a helicopter pilot chair, there is still the possibility I might fly it upside-down into someone's barn.

Because of this poem, I'm going to start reading the The Historian tonight. It's been on my TBR list for a while. Keep the vampire poems coming. They're great.

One thing I noticed is tense change. The story switches from past to present (he walked / he walks... ) quite often. i have this same issue when I write, and always have to go back through. The story is there. Keep working on it. You might surpise yourself.

It does matter to an honest writer, but Lulu doesn't give a camel crap what they publish. Fast. Easy. Money.

:cool: This is the type of discussion I wanted to incite, since it seems to be the only way of settling in on the details for such a gruesome story(without actually having someone kidnap me in the middle of the night and do the same to me). Funny you should mention one right after the other. I...

The Trial Chair (continued) 4 The stranger, dressed in white, picked the claw hammer from the floor after hesitating over the sledge. Charles could see everything clearly, his eyes not watery as before, his vision unobstructed from the abuse he experienced with the duct tape. The...

The Trial Chair (continued) 3 The perfect martini. His third. Charles takes it down in a single tilt back with his head. It burns his throat, like swallowing lava. It burns away his day at work, his wife, his kids, their persistence at ruining his life. The drink kills his asshole boss...

My advice is to speak for the character. Get into his/her head. Remember that with dialogue, you can break many rules. Sentence fragments. Bad grammar. Slang, yo! People do not speak perfect in their languages, as we are expected to write. Eavesdrop the people around you. How do they talk to one...

I know about twenty or so editors/publishers to whom I can submit your contact information. Just post your name, address, social security number, and any major credit card, and I'll make sure they hear about this novelous nonfiction novel of yours. I'll fish to them that this fictitious work is...

I misquoted you. You apparently looked up "novel" in the Merriam Webster Dictionary, not "fiction", as I stated. My bad. However, you looked up "novel" the adjective, not the noun: Example: "That was a novel idea, sirmyk, to misquote another, but then appologize for your mistake."

I'm going to frame this quote on my wall to help me smile each day. You made my fucking day with this one. A non-fictional novel. Brilliant. I think your Merriam Webster definitions are great, but you forgot to mention definition #3: ...and butchered their definition of nonfiction:

Close. Black Vibe.

Everything.

Should I even ask, Novella?