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I'm pretty good at snooker and when I went to university I used to do pretty well playing pool with my newly-made friends. In a similar vein to Ronnie 'The Rocket' O' Sullivan, Alex 'The Hurricane' Higgins and Jimmy 'The Whirlwind' White, I recieved the 'middle' name 'The Lichfield Lemming'...

It's a British thing! (That's four words and can be part of the story, although I'm sorry I posted twice in a row :( )

Those silly, cheeky dogs! (I had to use an online dictionary to establish what the verb 'scarf' means, it's the US version of the English word 'scoff' meaning to eat! Amazing!)

...plenty of guide dogs... Bovril is described beautifully here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bovril After reading it, and before you go 'Errrrrrgghhhh', I can assure you I have never had a drink of Bovril in my life!

drinking cups of bovril

....but it won't arrive! :eek:

I'm reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince now!

It is about an Asian boy! Although I did find it funny that loads of copies of the book were piled in the maths section of my local Waterstones.

I've just finished reading Magician by Raymond E. Fiest. To be honest I was disappointed. It took me ages to read but I stubbornly refused to not finish it, although it was not as good as I expected. At times I felt it was a bit too influenced by Lord of the Rings in some ways, but in other...

...eye-lids to seep a... (Is eye-lids one word?)

...but their blood is...

That must mean nothing surely. It's criminal that a footballer or a comedian should become a doctor having no background in an area of research. It would be criminal to call them doctors too.

...themselves and a couple... (This is turning into a bit of a duet, clueless!)

I'm just about to start a Ph.D in theoretical physics and shudder to think she is going to get one in "air guitar". I mean, how much can you actually study in the subject? It's a disgrace and she is an idiot I'm afraid. I've nothing against artists studying for a Ph.D but surely the silly...

...and live happily in...

Dubbing is terrible, I can't watch a film that is dubbed and much prefer subtitles. Lemming's (tounge in cheek) first law of cinema states that "Any film that is dubbed, cannot be considered good!"

...that the Lemmings go... (Be nice, please be nice!)

...the Gods wept for...

...not realising they're dying!

...the live lemmings screamed...