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I don't think professionals would be wasting their time on a forum, but hey, I'm just a kid.

Write from your heart, and follow your own voice--but remember that your voice can influence others, and that in the long run, you want them to understand exactly what you tried to say. Writers are people who make up bullshit and are praised for it, but as Stephen King said (not sure if this is...

I tend to prefer a white t-shirt and black shorts over a black t-shirt and white shorts. Not sure why, just do. Same thing here. And Revelations is just better.

Realize that as the author of your work, you have a natural third eye into the characters, who they are, and what they will become and/or do. An editor is an outsider who sees your work not as something from inside--as the author sees it--but from the outside, as just a reader. If you can't give...

Revelations : Holy Shit, an entertaining poem. This: What the ****? Revelations needs a sequel. - The SevenWritez Book Review.

Nah. I go to a forum of a good poem to see responses, not two gothic/emo/what have you kids making stupid ass one-liner comments that could be fit onto AIM. And for Christ's Sake you go to the same school and talk on a forum? No. **** you. That's a big-kid word.

If someone writes without drawing from things in their own life, they're either full of shit or just suck at writing.

You saw through my master plan. But yes, I know where you're coming from, which is exactly the reason why I don't show anything I actually have put effort into on here. But ah...show it to some of your co-workers. Friends. Whatever. You're the writer, so naturally you have a third insightful eye...

Both of you shut the **** up, get on AIM, and screw each other already. Jesus Christ.

I'm not even going to waste my time reading the shit posted. I just saw the title and read the original post before my amazingness set in. But seriously, spanking is horrid; spanking is wrong; spanking is for pussies. I'd fucking send their ass soaring into the wall. My children would...

Post manuscripts of your story in bulks of ten. So after your first ten pages are typed up, send them here. Do this for the first forty or so, get some feedback, comments, etc. Though most people here are already biased towards your character and may refuse to help you simply because you're...

You've never struck me as a Stewart, Steve.

I enjoyed this, but you had a very annoying attitude towards "mainstream," readers that needs clearing out. For one, art is something not for the creator alone to decide. Without the public an artist is nothing. So don't go on with the ignorant/fool/etc. label that you kept throwing at these...

Yes, ok...everyone just go ahead and pick on him now. As for the exclamation thing that Steve mentioned. There's a hidden rule of it. Don't use them. They suck, they're stupid, and they're for people who should be branded as 'bitch-tits.' Just saying. ! = Shit

He's older now. The young Stephen King who liked to throw in those "**** You," moments in all his novels has now become an old man with a family. Sure, he can still be dark and griddy, but he's become laid back, and his newer work is still good, just of a different style. Cell was a fun read...

The writing part. Creating is great, putting it down on paper is a bitch.

To me (but usually the writer and the reader see the same work differently; that's a given), it seemed like a straight-forward bitterness that was more direct than your other poems, ones that seemed to jump back and forth between "Scenes," as I'll call them. This one just kept going on with the...

*Stops* You making a threat, bitch? You wanna' go!? Nah, I be playing. (Or am I?)

What a poem would read like if it were done by Eminem. And I'm a fan of his anyway, so if you disregard rap as a crappy genre, don't take it as an insult. I enjoyed it, and good luck on your next poem.

I enjoyed it, but I believe the post above has already given you a great amount of advice. However, I'd suggest before trying to edit your "wordiness," you get a few more comments of feedback, say ten or so diferent people. It's best to get a majority vote than try to appeal to each individual...