sanyuja
New Member
Hi, I am an aspiring writer. I dont publish my work (not that there are many works!), but thought of putting it here for reviews and comments. Its a small story based on a true story. Feel free to comment on anything --- writing style, grammar, flow, use of words -- just about anything.
Thanks in advance
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Radha Weds Sameer
“Radha weds Sameer” read the board at the entrance of the wedding hall. It was her wedding day. She was as excited as any other bride would be. She had big plans for the most important day of her life. She had picked out an expensive saree , beautiful maroon saree with rich golden embroidery. She hired the most popular hair stylist to give her hair that extra bounce on the special day. She made sure her mehendi design was the most intricate of all. Her excitement increased manifold as the big day arrived.
The sun finally rose on her wedding day. She got up early, unable to sleep the previous night. She went through all the wedding rituals like an obedient girl. She hadn’t met her future husband after her engagement. She was eager to meet him, to talk to him, to listen to him and to live a long and happy life with him.
As she waited in the room to be called by the priest, she was imagining how her married life would be. She promised herself that she would not fight with her husband. She will love him from the bottom of her heart and keep him happy. She will play the role of a wife with total dedication. She will be the perfect wife, the perfect daughter in law, the perfect sister in law. Hers will be the happiest family.
Somebody called out to her ‘Panditji is calling you’. She shivered at those words. The moment has finally arrived. The moment that binds her with the love of her life. The bind so strong that it will last for seven janams. She walked to the wedding mantap with her head down, blushing slightly, trying to look at the most important guy in her life from the corner of her eyes. She felt her heart miss a beat as her eyes met her future husband’s eyes. She smiled at him and he smiled back at her. She thought ‘This is the most important day of my life.’ And she blushed at the thought of leading her days and nights with the man sitting in the mantap waiting for her.
She went up and sat next to her man. Panditji started reciting the mantras and he made them follow a few rituals. Whenever her hand brushed against his she felt a wave pass through her body. And thought that even he must be feeling the same. Finally, the moment arrived. He tied the mangal sutra and they were declared husband and wife. She couldn’t hide her happiness and expressed it by telling him that she is very happy. He said he is happy too. The rest of the rituals followed and they departed for lunch. This was the best lunch she had ever had. She fed him and he fed her (as per the rituals). Food had never tasted so good before!
The reception was to be held in a few hours. She wanted to look her best. She had chosen a special saree for this occasion. She got dressed and joined her hubby who was waiting for her. Guests started pouring in. All her friends had come and so had his friends. She wondered whether his friends would accept her as one among them. After lots of hand shaking and smiling, the reception finally ended.
Then came the moment which every girl dreams of. She was married now and would become one with her husband very soon. Their bodies will become one, their souls will become one. She blushed at her thought. She wondered what her husband was thinking. They had booked a grand hotel for their special night. They departed from the reception hall and reached the hotel. She was tensed now, she didn’t know why. Her hands started shivering and her heart started pounding harder and harder. They finally reached the room.
He held her hand in that posh hotel room and looked into her eyes. She blushed and turned her face away. He embraced her and told her that he was lucky to have her as his wife. And then he moaned. She looked up to see what was wrong with him. He was sweating profusely. He muttered something like ‘chest pain’ and fell unconscious. She didn’t know what to do. Many thoughts passed her mind. ‘Give him some water’ ‘sprinkle some water and wake him up’ ‘What's wrong with him? Is he playing a trick on me?’ ‘No, call the doctor’ ‘Doctor? Which doctor? What's the number?’ ‘Call the hotel manager, he can help’. She was so confused!! She mustered some courage and called out for help. A hotel guy came running to see what was wrong. He called for an ambulance.
They took him to the hospital. She was praying to God that nothing happens to her husband. The doctors took him to an ICU. When the doctors came out, she hoped that they give her the good news that her husband is fine. And when the doctor opened his mouth, he whole world shook. Her husband was no more. How can this happen? How can the man who vowed to lead a long and happy life with her leave her alone in this world. She couldn’t believe this was happening to her. She didn’t have the energy to cry. She was numb. She just sat there thinking about her husband. Her family arrived at the hospital. When she saw her mother, she broke down. She couldn’t control herself. She cried like a baby in her mother’s arms.
Somebody mentioned cremation. Oh yes, cremation had to be done. She insisted that she wanted to accompany her husband on his last journey. She herself didn’t know whether she has the courage to face that. He looked like he was fast asleep. She looked at him one last time and was hoping that he would get up and smile at her, just like he had smiled a few hours back. And then, her love was cremated.
They were on their way back. She looked at her own hands. Her Mehendi was the reddest, her saree was the prettiest, her hair style was the best, she was the prettiest bride. But, she was the unluckiest too. She lost her love as soon as she had found it. All her dreams shattered!! As their car passed her wedding hall, she looked up at the place where she got married and saw the board.
The board was still there which read “Radha weds Sameer.”
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Thanks in advance
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Radha Weds Sameer
“Radha weds Sameer” read the board at the entrance of the wedding hall. It was her wedding day. She was as excited as any other bride would be. She had big plans for the most important day of her life. She had picked out an expensive saree , beautiful maroon saree with rich golden embroidery. She hired the most popular hair stylist to give her hair that extra bounce on the special day. She made sure her mehendi design was the most intricate of all. Her excitement increased manifold as the big day arrived.
The sun finally rose on her wedding day. She got up early, unable to sleep the previous night. She went through all the wedding rituals like an obedient girl. She hadn’t met her future husband after her engagement. She was eager to meet him, to talk to him, to listen to him and to live a long and happy life with him.
As she waited in the room to be called by the priest, she was imagining how her married life would be. She promised herself that she would not fight with her husband. She will love him from the bottom of her heart and keep him happy. She will play the role of a wife with total dedication. She will be the perfect wife, the perfect daughter in law, the perfect sister in law. Hers will be the happiest family.
Somebody called out to her ‘Panditji is calling you’. She shivered at those words. The moment has finally arrived. The moment that binds her with the love of her life. The bind so strong that it will last for seven janams. She walked to the wedding mantap with her head down, blushing slightly, trying to look at the most important guy in her life from the corner of her eyes. She felt her heart miss a beat as her eyes met her future husband’s eyes. She smiled at him and he smiled back at her. She thought ‘This is the most important day of my life.’ And she blushed at the thought of leading her days and nights with the man sitting in the mantap waiting for her.
She went up and sat next to her man. Panditji started reciting the mantras and he made them follow a few rituals. Whenever her hand brushed against his she felt a wave pass through her body. And thought that even he must be feeling the same. Finally, the moment arrived. He tied the mangal sutra and they were declared husband and wife. She couldn’t hide her happiness and expressed it by telling him that she is very happy. He said he is happy too. The rest of the rituals followed and they departed for lunch. This was the best lunch she had ever had. She fed him and he fed her (as per the rituals). Food had never tasted so good before!
The reception was to be held in a few hours. She wanted to look her best. She had chosen a special saree for this occasion. She got dressed and joined her hubby who was waiting for her. Guests started pouring in. All her friends had come and so had his friends. She wondered whether his friends would accept her as one among them. After lots of hand shaking and smiling, the reception finally ended.
Then came the moment which every girl dreams of. She was married now and would become one with her husband very soon. Their bodies will become one, their souls will become one. She blushed at her thought. She wondered what her husband was thinking. They had booked a grand hotel for their special night. They departed from the reception hall and reached the hotel. She was tensed now, she didn’t know why. Her hands started shivering and her heart started pounding harder and harder. They finally reached the room.
He held her hand in that posh hotel room and looked into her eyes. She blushed and turned her face away. He embraced her and told her that he was lucky to have her as his wife. And then he moaned. She looked up to see what was wrong with him. He was sweating profusely. He muttered something like ‘chest pain’ and fell unconscious. She didn’t know what to do. Many thoughts passed her mind. ‘Give him some water’ ‘sprinkle some water and wake him up’ ‘What's wrong with him? Is he playing a trick on me?’ ‘No, call the doctor’ ‘Doctor? Which doctor? What's the number?’ ‘Call the hotel manager, he can help’. She was so confused!! She mustered some courage and called out for help. A hotel guy came running to see what was wrong. He called for an ambulance.
They took him to the hospital. She was praying to God that nothing happens to her husband. The doctors took him to an ICU. When the doctors came out, she hoped that they give her the good news that her husband is fine. And when the doctor opened his mouth, he whole world shook. Her husband was no more. How can this happen? How can the man who vowed to lead a long and happy life with her leave her alone in this world. She couldn’t believe this was happening to her. She didn’t have the energy to cry. She was numb. She just sat there thinking about her husband. Her family arrived at the hospital. When she saw her mother, she broke down. She couldn’t control herself. She cried like a baby in her mother’s arms.
Somebody mentioned cremation. Oh yes, cremation had to be done. She insisted that she wanted to accompany her husband on his last journey. She herself didn’t know whether she has the courage to face that. He looked like he was fast asleep. She looked at him one last time and was hoping that he would get up and smile at her, just like he had smiled a few hours back. And then, her love was cremated.
They were on their way back. She looked at her own hands. Her Mehendi was the reddest, her saree was the prettiest, her hair style was the best, she was the prettiest bride. But, she was the unluckiest too. She lost her love as soon as she had found it. All her dreams shattered!! As their car passed her wedding hall, she looked up at the place where she got married and saw the board.
The board was still there which read “Radha weds Sameer.”
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