Choose your mammal!

[Litany]

We are clearly all doomed to remain slaves of the system for the rest of our miserable lives. But who is the secret power behind our overlords?

Is it the donkeys, the squirrels or the lemmings?

Donkeys seem to have a never ending supply of straw hats. Is that where our taxes are going? But the squirrels have some impressive nuts. Do they have the squeaky wits to pull off such a coup? The lemmings had all that propaganda going with the computer games. Was it to lull us into a fall sense of security?

Only when we truly know our enemy can we hope to escape our invisible shackles. RISE UP FELLOW SLAVES AND, erm, DO SOMETHING OR OTHER!

 

[sparkchaser]

Squirrels. They look cute and friendly but their beady little eyes gave them away.

 

[abecedarian]

I voted for squirrels too. They only look sweet and innocent, but it is an established fact they're motivated by greed. They won't be happy til they control ALL pecan trees in the world.
And now there is pictoral evidence that suggests they may be after the world's stash of Reece's Peanutbutter Cups candies as well:

[/IMG]

 

[beer good]

Definitely squirrels. There's got to be some reason they get away with all that jaywalking.

Central Park in New York, right in the middle of the world's mightiest city, is full of squirrels. Coincidence? I think not.

 

[abecedarian]

Definitely squirrels. There's got to be some reason they get away with all that jaywalking.

Central Park in New York, right in the middle of the world's mightiest city, is full of squirrels. Coincidence? I think not.

And the ones that don't get away with jaywalking... the ones that become flattened roadkill? Inhuman sacrifices. They were pushed!

 

[Litany]

We know that squirrels steal all they need to survive, so what are they doing with all our money?

 

[sparkchaser]

We know that squirrels steal all they need to survive, so what are they doing with all our money?

Bribing dogs to look the other way when the revolution begins.

 

[abecedarian]

Bribing dogs to look the other way when the revolution begins.

And paying donkeys to stomp on cats who eat squirrels, which are after all...rodents.

 

[beer good]

squirrels, which are after all...rodents.

Well, sure. How do you think that hole in the Titanic got so big? Underwater cameras have spotted tooth marks on the hull, but of course THE MAN hushed it all up.

 

[abecedarian]

Well, sure. How do you think that hole in the Titanic got so big? Underwater cameras have spotted tooth marks on the hull, but of course THE MAN hushed it all up.

And here I thought it was due to a glitch in a time traveler's plans

(You have to read Time and Again and its sequels by Jack Finney )

 

[silverseason]

Definitely squirrels. There's got to be some reason they get away with all that jaywalking.

It may not be the way you think. Maybe the squirrels are being directed by retroviruses which have taken over their nervous systems. The plot is to pass the viruses along to US. In some cases, it may already have happened.

 

[sparkchaser]

It may not be the way you think. Maybe the squirrels are being directed by retroviruses which have taken over their nervous systems. The plot is to pass the viruses along to US. In some cases, it may already have happened.

Have you been taking helgi's medication again?

 

[bren]

Our house is run by guinea pigs. Surely you don't assert that they are mere henchmammals. They are pretty dignified and cruel. Frankly I find it hard to imagine a lemmimg or a donkey giving them orders...

I'm not voting because I'm a skeptic of your "donkey" theory. It's guinea pigs, fairly cert.

 

[Leyland]

We are clearly all doomed to remain slaves of the system for the rest of our miserable lives. But who is the secret power behind our overlords?

Is it the donkeys, the squirrels or the lemmings?

Hmmm but what if ... the Democratic Party is the secret power behind US donkeys? Let's hope not. Or are squirrels really robots powered by tiny alien invaders who can't seem to get the hang of driving on the right side of the road? Let's hope not. I think the lemmings are secretly powered by The Force and when they leap into oblivion, it's just a giant leap of faith!

 

[Litany]

Our house is run by guinea pigs. Surely you don't assert that they are mere henchmammals. They are pretty dignified and cruel. Frankly I find it hard to imagine a lemmimg or a donkey giving them orders...

I'm not voting because I'm a skeptic of your "donkey" theory. It's guinea pigs, fairly cert.

So they got to you already?

 

[bren]

No. Well, we gave them an inch, you know.

 

[Tasku]

I say the squirrels are working together with the rabbits. The town I live in is so infested with both species, I see more rabbits lurking in our backyards, and peeking thru windows than I see cars on the drive way. And squirrels will report to the rabbits on the happenings of the upstairs rooms from their high treetops - this I've also witnessed numerous times...

There must be something up here...

 

[beer good]

I say the squirrels are working together with the rabbits. The town I live in is so infested with both species, I see more rabbits lurking in our backyards, and peeking thru windows than I see cars on the drive way. And squirrels will report to the rabbits on the happenings of the upstairs rooms from their high treetops - this I've also witnessed numerous times...

There must be something up here...

The rabbits are definitely the squirrels' minions. Which frightens me, since there are literally thousands of rabbits where I live... with nasty, big, pointy teeth. You don't suppose we could turn them against each other somehow?

 

[Tasku]

You don't suppose we could turn them against each other somehow?

It's worth a try. We need to climb to their nests and steal their nuts, then take them to the holes used as base of operations by the rabbits to frame them of this crime, and cause squirrels to loose trust in their minions. It's a high risk operation, needs to be done at night. Beware of the men in white coats, they are paid by the squirrels to stop any kind of uprising against their power. These traitors will lock you up and call you crazy. Trust me.

Good luck comrades.

 

[beer good]

We need to climb to their nests and steal their nuts, then take them to the holes used as base of operations by the rabbits to frame them of this crime

But crime is only a crime against the law itself, man! If you replace it with the word "banana" it won't make any sense! Do you really expect the mighty squirrels to be as easily fooled as mere humans?

I honestly believe more in getting the rabbits to rebel. Rabbits are bigger than squirrels, and if we can get them to organize and form soviets (I saw a rabbit the other day who looked exactly like Trotsky, except... well, smaller, furrier and with bigger ears) the squirrels could be in big trouble. Of course, rabbits can't climb trees, so it'll never be a complete victory, but if we can keep them at perpetual war with one another, it might - might - save us.