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Critique My Web Page - It all I've got for you right now

Motokid

Motokid

New Member
Since I have angered a few here and there in this forum, I was trying think of a way for people to critique something of mine. Sort of a tit for tat. I thought about writing some short story, or a paragraph, but that would not have captured something that I really put my heart into. So the best thing that I have to offer is my web site.

If anyone thinks I'm doing this for publicity then pm a mod immediately and have this thread deleted. That's not my intention. I'm asking for help in what I've created. I'm asking for feedback on what works and what doesn't. What is awkward or what needs revision. This web page is something I've put lots of thought into, and I may be too emotionally attached to it to see errors and/or spots that need attention. Close friends and family are not giving me critical feedback.

I want critical. I want to know what works for you, and what does not. You guys are web savy. You are distant enough to call it like you see it.

If what I am asking is not breaking the rules of TBF, and if none of you have any complaints about me posting my web page in this part of the forum for the sake of constructive critique, I will post the link. If you think I'm out of bounds here let me know ASAP. I'll be patiently waiting to see what y'all think. It's the best thing I can come up with for giving you something that means a lot to me, and that I have an emotional attachment to.

Should I post the link for your critique or not?
 
A chant rises from the crowd.

Motokid cannot discern the words, but feels the energy surging from the mob.

The mantra grows and he hears the plea...

"POST-IT, POST-IT, POST-IT!"

:D
 
hey moto, or ed, whatever you like... :D

Since this critique seems to mean a lot to you, i will TRY to help you... i'm not a professionel and i'm actually not in the position to critique anything, since you got farther than most of us ever will...

anyway...

i like it that you put pictures from your book and yourself into it... I also have to admit that the book reviews made me smile...
It is an awsome idea to post 4 pages of your book.. just enough to make you curious but not enough to tell you the whole story, good work..

But i would make the links, which you have now on the bottom of the page, more visible so that you don't have to search for them... and on occasions the page looks a little empty which should solve itself if you put the more visible links into the open space...

in the whole it is cute and i think that you did a pretty good job with it...

good luck..
 
Thanks leckert, and honeydevil...although, honeydevil you were supposed to wait for the general voice of the forum before offering the critique. I'll take it that you have no problem with this kind of post from me. I guess expecting you to play by the rules is like expecting me to not get into some kind of trouble.

I can't tell that any of the mods have logged in today..so I'll wait for a bit longer before posting the webpage in question.
 
I'll look at your webpage.

Motokid said:
I can't tell that any of the mods have logged in today..so I'll wait for a bit longer before posting the webpage in question.
Click to expand...

Why? Are you concerned that you are breaking some kind of strick rule around here? I think things here are pretty flexible and I can't imagine that the mods are really going to care.

As far as I can tell, Wabbit just signed off.
 
this is why: Membership Agreement

"3.4 Commercial advertising in posts is not allowed. The definition of commercial advertising includes, but is not limited to, links to online auction sites, as well as direct links to your online store. Links which include store affiliate code are not allowed. Messages and posts which are blatantly posted only to advertise your product or service will be edited and may lead to a ban from the forums."

I can't directly post my webpage address. For now you will have to access it through my profile. I can put it in my signature like I used to have it, but I can't post it directly in this thread.

them's the rules and I must stick to them. And I will. :)
 
Motokid said:
Thanks leckert, and honeydevil...although, honeydevil you were supposed to wait for the general voice of the forum before offering the critique. I'll take it that you have no problem with this kind of post from me. I guess expecting you to play by the rules is like expecting me to not get into some kind of trouble.
Click to expand...

you know, i don't care... And if i want to give you a piece of my mind, who should stop me? Even if this thread isn't allowed, i could have given it to you over PM...

But so far i see it, we won't have to shut this thread down, because nobody would DARE vote against a thread where everybody can say their opinion... RIGHT GUYS??
 
Nope. It's a rule that's clearly stated and one I anticipated. I can play fair and by the rules with no problem on this. :)

I added the site address to my sig.

The thread can remain open and all are welcome to critique to their hearts content.

Have at it y'all.
 
Motokid said:
this is why: Membership Agreement

"3.4 Commercial advertising in posts is not allowed. The definition of commercial advertising includes, but is not limited to, links to online auction sites, as well as direct links to your online store. Links which include store affiliate code are not allowed. Messages and posts which are blatantly posted only to advertise your product or service will be edited and may lead to a ban from the forums."

I can't directly post my webpage address. For now you will have to access it through my profile. I can put it in my signature like I used to have it, but I can't post it directly in this thread.

them's the rules and I must stick to them. And I will. :)
Click to expand...

Ah. I see. That's reasonable. I took a look at your site. I liked it. I would shorten the width a bit. I found your site was just a tiny bit too wide, so I had to scroll left to see everything. I work at a fairly common resolution so I'm sure this is a problem many people would have.

I thought your products were well presented and it wasn't overboard. It was nice that you had pictures on there. Your child (I'm taking a jomp here) is cute. You, though, weren't what I pictured in my head.

Most of all, I thought your webpage was well put together. Many small business owners make these tacky sites with crazy fonts, animations and background music. I don't know if you made your site or if you paid for it, but either way it was a good choice.
 
thanks mehastings...it's all my creation...from font choice to color to...well everything. I am not the illustrator though. That dude is in a class all by himself. I can only dream to be that talented...although his web page leaves much to be desired...

The girl is my youngest daughter.

I'll check the width issue. I have not heard this before, and have no such problem on my home computer, or work computer. Are you using a Windows based PC with Internet Explorer?

And what exactly did you picture in your head?

your opinion is noted and really appreciated, especially the part about it not being a tacky site...I put many hours effort into it and revised it numerous times to get it where it is today.
 
Motokid said:
I'll check the width issue. I have not heard this before, and have no such problem on my home computer, or work computer. Are you using a Windows based PC with Internet Explorer?

And what exactly did you picture in your head?
Click to expand...

Yes, I was using my laptop with IE. My resolution is 1024x768 (which is fairly standard I think). I've had width issues in the past too. I took a quick look at the images on your front page. It looks like that header area has 4 images (216_1, 245_1, 246_1 & 221_1), the total width of the images is 1024pix. I'm guessing you did this thinking that 1024 is the accepted standard. The thing is, you forget about the scroll bar at the right of the page and the tiny boarder at the left of the page. If you just cut those images down a tiny bit, you'd be fine. You may not have this problem because you are probably on a higher resolution than I am.

I thought you would have brown hair. This is probably because I have brown hair, so I assume everyone else does too. I also didn't picture the facial hair, and I thought you might be bigger. Actually, I have a friend's father who is a couple years older than you are. I think I pictured you as him. He has a motorcycle.
 
Moto,


I found it a little too wide, also. Had to scroll a little to get to the menu on the right.

I'm no web guy, but I think the menu items on the right could be a little clearer. Maybe a different font, or bold or something? They seem "dim" somehow. Maybe it is because the font you used there is different than the font in the rest of the site?

Did you draw the Teddy Bear?

I thought you'd look older. More gray, maybe?

Really cool site. And the book looks great, too!
 
Motokid said:
I'll check the width issue. I have not heard this before, and have no such problem on my home computer, or work computer. Are you using a Windows based PC with Internet Explorer?
Click to expand...
Moto - I had this problem too - I'm using a 15" tft also with 1024 x 768 resolution. My PC is windows based and I have IE6 installed. As mehastings said - you have to look at the width of your page - if this and the scroll bar come to >1024 some people will have problems viewing it.

HTH
 
Ok I had a quick look at your site on Phils machine (17" tft with 1280 x 1024 resolution - same windows/IE version as mine). It is fine when viewing it on his :)

A couple of points about your site - I personally don't like the font you have used for the links on the right of the screen - it makes it slightly hard to read and isn't in keeping with the other text. Perhaps you could change the font to something slightly bolder?

I feel your heading should be slighty bigger, as could the links at the bottom of the page (as I am assuming the website is aimed at both children and adults). I'm also not particularly fond of your hit counter (again it can be slightly hard to decipher - but this is purely personal preference). I personally wouldn't use the word 'stuff' - though can't really find a suitable alternative - accessories doesn't sound right.

However, you appear to have put a lot of effort into the site - I like the fact that you have put excerpts of the book up (though they are all different sizes - I would possibly have them as 2 x 2 and the same size - similar to your interactive page). This is one of the things I like to see on professional author's pages. The colour scheme is also a good choice.
 
I don't think the monitor width actually makes a difference. If you have a 2" screen set to a width of 1024 pixels you'll still see all 1024 pixels, just really small. Same thing for a 100" monitor. You'd still only see 1024 pixels, just really big. It is most likely the resolution size that makes the difference for phil. His monitor is bigger, so he can work at a higher resolution and not squint.
 
mehastings said:
I don't think the monitor width actually makes a difference. If you have a 2" screen set to a width of 1024 pixels you'll still see all 1024 pixels, just really small. Same thing for a 100" monitor. You'd still only see 1024 pixels, just really big. It is most likely the resolution size that makes the difference for phil. His monitor is bigger, so he can work at a higher resolution and not squint.
Click to expand...
The monitor size does make a slight difference as my 15" can't have a screen resolution of 1280 x 1024 ;) This is the only reason I mentioned it - I'm assuming Moto has his set to 1280 x 1024 (which incidently is the maximum Phils 17" can go to). The problem is definatley caused by the resolution the individual screens are set to.
 
Absolutely, and completely appreciated,Every Bit of it. I'll be looking into everything mentioned so far. Thanks a heap..to all of you...
 
  • Page too wide. You have to consider all users. I have the same resolution as the others but I know people who still use 800x600 and they'd have to scroll half of the page.
  • Personally, I don't like the Mondrianesque squares or the colour schemes. I would change this to something more in line with the book you are trying to sell.
  • I don't like having to scroll down the page for all that extra content. You could get a whole lot more important information on the front page.
  • The navigation menu would be better on the left. I've only really seen them on the left in Arabic, Hebrew, etc. sites where the script is written from right to left.
  • The links at the bottom are good.
  • I think the site's title could be the same font as that on the cover of the book.
  • The reviews may be better justified rather than centred.
  • Hit counters aren't that important anymore, especially if your site is low traffic. The small numbers may put customers off.
  • Also, Comic Sans MS is probably the worst font in the world. ;)

Who is your web host? What do they offer?
 
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