Kill me

[Daniel_Infinity]

Hmm, I'm just trying to put off revising as much as I can so.... here is something I wrote up... I think it's poetry
If it's terrible, then just kill me.

Kill me.
No, don't kill me.
But please, kill me.
Kill my mind.
Kill my soul.
Leave my body alone,
It has not done me any wrong.
This mind has to go.
This soul has to flee.
Please use that gun,
usefully.
Kill me.
No, don't kill me.
But please, kill me.
Let's not recycle my heart again,
with despair and sin.
Put a bullet in my head,
then I will be dead.
Or not?

 

[lanaia74]

Totally AWESOME!

 

[Vespertilio91]

I like the idea, but I think you need to change and revise it a bit. It's wonderful the way it is, and it explains all it needs to, but it doesn't have much flair. It seems blase and jejune. (pretty words for boring! I love them!)

(And no, I will not kill you. I don't know where you live! )

 

[WriterJohnB]

I liked it.

 

[George Oliver]

It's good - maybe you should put off revising again... It would actually make great song lyrics (imagine Nirvana): another string to your bow?