Simon Schama: A History Of Britain

[Litany]

Anyone who knows anything about history will tell you that British history is the best history there is. It's undisputable. We had tons of wars and burnings and built all the best castles and oppressed minorities for centuries before those blasted human rights activists started complaining that it was wrong to burn witches and gave the vote to women. Pah. And don't get me started on Health and Safety regulations. They were the kiss of death for pillaging. You try writing a five page risk assessment on sacking a monastery and see if you're still in the mood for ravishing goats.

Well, I've only read the first book, but so far so good. Schama has an easy to read style so history reads like a story rather than like when Mr Broom tried to get us interested in the League of Nations. There is nothing interesting about the League of Nations. But that time when he ripped his shirt open on a coat hook was pretty entertaining.

There were parts where he became very confusing to read and threw in names with no formal introductions, and parts where there'd be two people with the same name and he wasn't clear enough on which one he was referring to. And the War of the Roses was little more than a side note. Other than that though, jolly good. Plenty on Queen Elizabeth and Longshanks who are my favouritest monarchs and it's good to see the truth about that filthy villain 'Braveheart' in print. Curse you Mel Gibson and all who sail in you.

 

[Stewart]

Anyone who knows anything about history will tell you that British history is the best history there is. It's undisputable. We had tons of wars and burnings and built all the best castles and oppressed minorities for centuries before those blasted human rights activists started complaining that it was wrong to burn witches and gave the vote to women. Pah.

Ah, good to see your sense of humour hasn't lost its shine in the intervening year(s).

Schama has an easy to read style

I think what makes it even better still is you can enjoy his words without actually listening to him speak out of his nose.

 

[Litany]

I never watched him on the telly box. There's a simple truth in life, historians are not sexy people. There was one show about old weapons, I can't remember the name of the presenter but he was a fat old lump of a man. Perfectly charming but painful to watch. And his gut was wobbling all over the place as his five foot frame struggled to hold up a great sword.

Now you know me, I love weapons. Big chunks of steel covered in angry badgers and the blood of infidels. You can't beat it. But when I see someone swinging a war hammer it better be either me in the mirror or a rippling adonis in a leather thong.

 

[Wintergreen]

There were parts where he became very confusing to read and threw in names with no formal introductions, and parts where there'd be two people with the same name and he wasn't clear enough on which one he was referring to. And the War of the Roses was little more than a side note. Other than that though, jolly good.

This was my biggest problem with his books. He likes to focus in on one or two stories at the expense of the big picture, which is fine if you already know the outline of the history, but then why would you be reading a three-volume history if you already knew it that well? As you say, this is particularly obvious on the section on the Wars of the Roses, and at any other time when the monarchs are coming thick and fast.

Can't agree with you about the League of Nations though. What could more exciting that the Åland crisis?

 

[Litany]

Are you that chap from Grim Fandango?

He does make it very obvious where his interests lie and skim the rest. I know History Is Big but still, he's got three chunky volumes and could weasily round out the important bits. Add in a bit more skull crushing and blood shed. I mean, sure, he mentioned old Longshanks' talent for creative executions but I didn't hear the screams.

 

[Wintergreen]

Are you that chap from Grim Fandango?

Well spotted! That's Glottis at the piano in Year 2. I'm a big fan of Grim Fandango.

 

[Litany]

It's quite a sad little ending. I welled up, I must admit.