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Ten lessons from Hollywood

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Tobytook

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During all police investigations it is necessary to visit a strip club.

Most dogs are immortal.

If being chased through town, you may take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade at any time of the year.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

Anyone can land a plane providing there is someone in the
control tower to talk them down.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you may travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you show someone a picture of your sweetheart.

The Eiffel Tower may be seen from any window in Paris.

A man feels no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but must wince uncontrollably when a woman cleans his wounds.

When paying cab fare, it is unnecessary to look at your wallet as you take out money. Just grab randomly and hand it over. It will always be the exact amount.

Tobytook
- who didn't make it up himself.
 
I would laugh at all this but....

I'm afraid I can't because you and I are kind of enemies, so here is what I will say instead:

I object to rule #4....I have seen countless movies from Hollywood in which a stick of French bread was not part of the contents in a grocery bag.

God, how boring my life has gotten today...
 
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