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The 5 Elemental Lands (working on it)

mdragon159

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I just finished the prologue after thinking up the story in my mind (or atleast the main things). For sure, it's atleast 5 books :D.

The prologue takes place in a....just read it to know where it is. One thing to say is that it's modern times and this is just a prologue. The main character is a human who is forced through the burmuda (that's basically the "portal" or "path" to the lands. Why do you think people dissapear there? ;) ) and must save the lands from a great evil that threatens to destroy the Lands and our world as we know it. Well, that's what I have in mind. The prologue is just a prologue so the plot won't be told. Also, I might change few things while I'm working on it. I just finished the prologue about 20 min ago. I finally am using the computer (Word) to keep my book instead of using a notebook.

One last thing, I'm only in 7th grade and am 11 (unbelievably if you know me in real life) so this might not be as good as others'.

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The 5 Elemental Lands
Prologue

Somewhere where humans can’t see, a place of wonders and magic, an evil thing was at work. At the center of the great elemental lands, was a great land filled with all the types of landforms on Earth as humans know it; deserts, forests, mountains, and more. Within there, at the center, there was a great mountain and around it a great city. Within the mountain lays great, ancient secrets.

There were 5 caves, with a guardian from each land; Fire, Water, Earth, Wind, and Electricity. You could not get in any other way than these caves. You could also not get in without permission from that guardian’s elemental king.

Danger didn’t only come from outside, but inside as well. A great ancient evil was locked away into the mountain, threatening to rise every century. Its power can convince minds all over the Lands to do its work. The elemental guardians or the kings didn’t know how to stop this, but they tried there best. To no avail, something always happened. Also, by every century, the dark ancient evil got stronger and brought stronger minions. The minions went down eventually but not without a cost. It was a war and people die in wars. Many died to protect the Great Lands.

* * * *

From each land came an inspector. They inspected if the elementals were hurt or dead, something got in the cave, if the elemental guardian needed an apprentice, etcetera.

All five inspectors came at the same time. That was forbidden because of the power coming in from all five sides, but here they came. The guardians didn’t know of this because the caves were positioned toward their land.

The fire inspector wore a red and black cloak around his body. This was what all the Fire Land’s inspectors wore, to show that it’s the inspector. The inspector’s were human and showed their face at all times but this one had a hat tucked on its head tightly and its face couldn’t be seen. The guardian, who wore all red cloaks and face was veiled by the cloak, was careful and knew a procedure to make sure it was an inspector.

When the inspector came only 3 paces away from the guardian, the guardian did its procedure. In a flash it was behind the inspector and a sword with a fiery blade came down its sleeve. It swung down at the inspector, who was not supposed to get hurt from the blade at all, but he dodged and took his own blade and made a move quicker the eye and the next thing the guardian knew, he was dead with a blade through his chest and was coming out the other side. The guardian instantly vanished in a red light. The same thing happened to all of the guardians. The criminals entered the cave in front of them, which was forbidden.

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I would like comments or suggestions. Also, I just copied this out of Word.
 
Ch1 edit1

Finished chapter 1, edited once. I didn't take much time on this, so it might not be the best. I saw some places that I could make it better but I'll leave it like this.

Copied out of word once again
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The 5 Elemental Lands
Chapter 1
“ALEX, COME BACK HERE!” Alex was running for it, maybe even running for his life. This time Alex went over the edge. Well, not really. Bill was already in a bad mood and Alex just had to step on his toe accidentally.

Alex dashed through the class room, past the hall ways, past the double doors, and he thought he knew he had little time to hide. But in front of him were three of his goons in front of the door, not knowing his boss was after him. Alex tried to go past him, but when he was a pace away, Bill shouted again. Alex practically tripped down the stairs and ran.

He was running down the courtyard and went to the school gates, with his chasers coming closer and closer. The courtyard was approximately 30 yards (Alex’s estimation) and he was out of breath because he had to run through this and two floors of the school. Alex shook the school gate. The gate was locked so students who despised school, or some other reason wanted to run away, and tried to escape were kept within school perimeters.

Alex thought fast because, for all he knew, he might get hurt very, very, very badly from Bill. Last year, Bill smashed a guy’s head hard onto the school wall and damaged it severely. Alex didn’t want to hear the rest of Bill’s stories so he turned away from the crowd of people who wanted to hear Bill’s stories.

Alex saw the gate. Could he climb it? No, I can’t. That gate is at least three times higher than me! Alex thought.

“Almost there, ya punk,” Bill yelled at him. Alex frantically looked around. He ran parallel to the gate, hoping to find some place where he can run away from Bill.

That was his mistake. A goon came in front of Alex. Alex tried to run to the side, but he saw he was surrounded.

“Gotcha, you little squirt!” Bill’s hand was on Alex’s neck, Bill’s cigarette breath on Alex. Alex winced at this. He hated Bill. He despised Bill. He wanted Bill to be pulverized by some other bully but that never happened.

Alex looked around quickly. About twenty of Bill’s goons (he couldn’t count well with the time he had and the bully’s hand was on his throat) and they all wore leather jackets, black shirts, and black jeans, just like their boss. They make a sloppy, unorganized ring around him.

Bill pushed Alex into the open. His goons, about 20 of them (Alex couldn’t count with Bill’s hand on his throat), made a ring around Bill and him. Bill pushed again Alex toward the center.

“Try to runaway, now? I won’t let that happen. Now you’re in it big time. I want to turn you smaller than a pancake.” “Why do you want me to fight you head-to-head? I only stepped on your—“. Alex didn’t have the time to finish his sentence. Bill punched him so hard that he fell all the way onto a goon who pushed him back into the ring.

Lucky he moved a bit before Bill hit him, but he still got hurt on his arm. There was a good size melt where he punched him. The guy was pretty fat, but Alex had to admit, he had some muscles under that fat.

Alex could feel the anger surge through him, feel the angry within him. He wasn’t scared of him anymore. Not even a bit. Alex wanted to beat him, pummel him, destroy him.

“Are you scared, baby? I’ll put the end to your misery then. Well, until you wake up!” Bill came at Alex again. Alex was so angry that he didn’t know how he did it.

Alex just moved a bit and suddenly he was behind Bill. Bill was confused, but he kept going until he ran into the same guy who Alex was knocked into. The goon was sprawled on the floor, with Bill on top of him.

Bill got up and shouted at the guy he knocked over. “What the heck are you doing?! Stop dozing off before you doze off in the hospital!” The guy was knocked out, helplessly. He couldn’t even hear his boss’s threats.

“Yoh, bullhead! You going to blame your goon or continue this fight!” Bill looked straight in Alex’s eyes. For a second, he got scared. The hatred in Alex’s eyes was easily seen. No, power.

Get a hold of yourself! He’s just some puny freak! There’s nothing to be afraid of! Bill told himself. But look at that look! It’s not like him! Bill’s inner voice said. Shut up already! Bill told it.

Bill rushed forward at Alex. Alex simply stepped aside. This time Bill turned around before he slammed into any of his people. Alex disappeared from sight and went behind the bully, unnoticed by him. “Boo!” Bill freaked out and swung his arm. Alex dodged by crouching and, by pushing off the grounds with his hands, did a kick that sent his enemy flying away from him.

Bill was flying farther then the ring of his goons and they were scurrying around, trying to make a landing made out of humans. They finally settled and then BOOM! Bill crashed so hard that dust and dirt filled the air.

When the dust and dirt finally settled, Alex saw that Bill was on the ground with a few goons under him and the rest around him. Bill muttered a few words that Alex couldn’t hear and all the goons who weren’t under Bill stared at Alex.

They started to surround Alex. Alex could see the fear in their eyes, but he wasn’t sure who it was from; Alex beating up their boss or their boss commanding them.

After they finished surrounding Alex, they started to close in on him. When they finally were a yard away from him, they rushed at him. Then there was a bright flash

* * * *
Next thing Alex knew was that he was surrounded by knocked out bodies including Bill. He was so exhausted that he was swaying right there and finally fell to the ground and fainted.

* * * *
Somewhere else….
“Brother, did you feel that?! Power other than the Lands! Not very powerful as the others but still power! Hurry up and let’s go find the source of this power!”

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Longer than the prologue, right? Yup.

Gotta get to work on chapter 2. Can't wait for it. Oops, forgot to add detail on how Alex looks! Oh well.....I'll add that in the next chapter (hopefully). Making memo!
 
Ch2 Done

Finished chapter 2 in a day (the day before this post). I really have the right imagination to do this.

Also, this is unedited version. Going to work on ch3 without editing it for now (that's what I'm thinking right now).

Always going to be copied from Word :D.
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The 5 Elemental Lands
Chapter 2
First thing Alex noticed was that there was a green fog everywhere. Wherever his eyes searched for something else than the fog, they failed to do their job. There was nothing around other than the fog to be seen.

Alex took a few steps forward and tripped and fell on his belly. He winced. When he opened his eyes, he saw a skeleton. A human skeleton. A human skull.

Panic and fear was all Alex could think about. He stared deeply into the sockets of the skull where the eyes were. He was scared and would’ve screamed of fright if not fear itself was choking him so hard that he could barely take even an infinitesimal size of oxygen.

All around him were skeletons. All human skeletons. The floor was littered with them. Alex couldn’t even see the bare ground.

He abruptly got stood up. Alex wandered away from that stop and was looking for anything; an exit, house, even Bill. The only thing he wasn’t looking for was this graveyard with a gloomy frog that fit the theme of the place.

Alex felt like he was wandering around for an hour or two before he decided he was completely lost within this graveyard. His eyes searched hopelessly around for something, anything other than this… this… place.

Let’s call this place a place before you lose your mind, Alex. Just stay calm, this is just some nightmare, he thought. Alex pinched himself. That concluded that this wasn’t a dream. If it was, it sure was a painful, realistic one.

He spotted a place where the fog dispersed around a circular area. Alex could just make out a human shape. Alex was about to go to the human when he heard its voice but stopped because his fear overcame the curiosity.

Alex walked towards it, trying to eavesdrop on the human. The mist was so heavy and mystical that where he could’ve had listened on the human back at the school, he couldn’t hear here.

Finally, Alex estimated that he was around 6 meters away from the human when he could make out the voice. “My Lord, the boy has been located,” said an old raspy male voice. Another voice spoke, one that Alex could feel power coming from, emanating great power.

“Good. Have you sent the pursuers yet?” “No, I wanted permission first.” “GO SEND THEM NOW! Other creatures most likely have found the boy, already. They will reach the boy first if you do not act fast. Even some rebels will have time to reach him…”

The male human was shivering with fright. His voice was shaken, too, when he spoke. It sounded as if it was as fragile as ice.

“Ye-ye-yes my Lord! I shall send them right away!” the male human said. The human was turning away and was about to go away, but the powerful voice stopped him. “Do you know where the boy exactly is? He’s here.” The male human stopped and was surprised. “Really? You mean here, here? Like right here where he can hear me?” “Yes. Now go do what you want with the boy. He’s only in here in a stance. Once he gets out of the stance, he will not be back where he’s in the stance, unharmed.”

Once the voice stopped talking, immediately the fog disappeared, leaving Alex and the human alone. Alex looked around and saw that the graveyard stretched farther than the eye could see.

The human was an old man. He was unnaturally skinny and was so wrinkled that it didn’t look human. He wore a long black robe that had a hood. The old man turned to him.

“You dare come here while we search for you, even in a stance? Fool! I shall show how foolish you are for being here!” The old man raised his hands, his sleeves falling, and bony human hands popped up. Alex took a step back, but a hand caught his ankle. He tried to kick it off with his other foot, but another hand caught it. The hands were pulling him down, down into the graveyard.

He didn’t have time to think and he did a very stupid choice. He bent down and tried to slap the hands but more hands came and got his hands. Now they pulled Alex down with them, him on his belly. Alex tried to get away, he tried everything; moving, rolling around, trying to bash the hands with his head, even biting them (which was insanely nasty to Alex, but he was desperate).

Alex heard the old man laugh before he was entirely covered with bones. “Do not oppose us or you will have worse punishments!” That was the last thing Alex heard before the hands pulled him down entirely.
* * * *
Alex got up fast. He was about to run when he noticed where he was. He was in his dorm, within the orphanage. If he woke up the other 3 roommates, there were great consequences. Fortunately, they weren’t even in the room.

The room was a pretty small room that could only fit a desk, 4 beds (2 beds with bunk beds), a shelf, and a few other pieces of furniture including a small 2-seater sofa.

What was that? Was it a dream? It can’t be, it felt so real… Alex thought. Forget the dream or nightmare. It was just fake, nothing real. Or is it real? How do you know? Alex just told his annoying inner voice to shut it.

Alex looked at the clock. It was around 4 A.M. Pretty darn early to wake up, Alex thought. Then he noticed the shades were pulled down. He saw that the shades covered the fact that it was morning!

Alex finally remembered that he was fighting Bill and then he fainted. He couldn’t remember details; all he could remember that he was in rage and was fighting for the dumbest thing ever; stepping on someone’s toe.

There was a knock on the door. “Come in,” Alex said, but then he thought about vampires and he was about to let in a vampire.

To Alex’s relief, it was just the nurse, Ms. Jade, checking on Alex. “You ok Alex,” she asked.

“I’m fine, don’t worry about it.” Alex responded. “Do you remember what happened? We found you and Bill and his friends were unconscious out there. They don’t remember what happened at all.”

Did they have amnesia? “No, I don’t. I can barely remember what happened.” “Oh, ok then. We were just wondering what happened. It seems like you guys have amnesia or something and can’t remember.” The nurse then left after saying that, Alex overhearing Ms. Jade muttering to herself about “these days.”

“Whatever happened was pretty weird if we all can’t remember it. I wonder what happened. I’m sure it’s not big” Alex muttered to himself. Then he got changed from his dirty clothes that he was wearing and changed into another pair of clothes that made him look like nothing happened at all and he didn’t get dirty or anything. Then he left the room, going out the door and closing it behind him.

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