What I've learnt from film and TV

[fluffy bunny]

So what pearls of wisdom have you learnt from movies and their lovely logic:

Some to start with

Bombs always have big, blinking, beeping timer displays. Evil geniuses who devise bombs to destroy things/people are always thoughtful enough to include a visible display (usually LED) of how much time remains before the bomb detonates, giving the hero accurate feedback on exactly how much time remains

To diffuse a bomb, you need to cut the red wire, and the counter will stop at 1 secont (or at 007 in the case of Bond movies).

A car will always explode when shot at, unless the hero is driving it

Any kid, or dog for that matter can wonder around through an artillery barrage and not get killed while half the outfit will alway get wiped out.

Never be part of a SWAT team - you'll always end up dead (Silence of the Lambs, Leon, the Matrix)

 

[Landslide]

No matter if you turned off the lights and closed completely the blinds, there will always be enough light in the room.

Women always wake up with their make up already on and with perfect hair.

When chased by a psychopath, always go up the stairs as to be trapped by him.

 

[sparkchaser]

Gunshot wounds are never severely debilitating to the hero, will always take out a henchman, and will never kill a villain.

 

[ProfessorMarvel]

All high-security facilities have big wide ventilation ducts that lead to control rooms.

Stair and walkway railings in factories will protect you against machine-gun fire.

Vulcan logic is different from college logic class logic.

Getting punched in the face really hard doesn't hurt all that much.

 

[Elaina NV]

It's easy to solve any murder case in less than 30 minutes (CSI)

Pregnancy Labor is such a happy, joyous occassion with little to no sweat involved.

Sex is always AMAZING to both parties:whistling:

You can work at Starbucks and still have an upscale New York studio that is well furnished.

You can be a hooker (or gerbil) and score with Richard Gere

You can be broke as hell but manage to live on a tropical island

 

[ProfessorMarvel]

Cowboy saloon furniture is not very well made.

Cowboy clothing, on the other hand, is exceedingly durable and stain-resistant.

Many many factories have catwalks positioned over open vats of boiling acid.

On TV, the FBI, CIA, NCIS, and other law-enforcement agencies evidently recruit agents exclusively from Vogue or GQ

Hitting someone on the back of the head with a heavy object will render them momentarially unconcious, but otherwise incur no lasting effects. (Try this at home!)

 

[joderu95]

Regardless of the availability and lethality of various weapons we prefer to have nearly every action/adventure movie end with a fist fight of some sort.

Ben Stiller gets hit in the balls a lot.

Aliens usually have two arms, two legs, two eyes, two ears, one nose, and one mouth. They tend to be about 5' to 6' in height and speak English very well, but usually have some sort of accent.

 

[Libra]

Pregnancy Labor is such a happy, joyous occassion with little to no sweat involved.

Now that I think of it ,that's exacly how it was.I loved everything about it. Epiderals, stitches and all.

Sex is always AMAZING to both parties:whistling:

and those acrobatics are always so easy to do.:whistling:

 

[sparkchaser]

and those acrobatics are always so easy to do.:whistling:

What kind of movies have you been watching?

 

[Libra]

What kind of movies have you been watching?

Disney?:lol::lol:

 

[Landslide]

You can be a hooker (or gerbil) and score with Richard Gere

Yeah, but only if you're Julia Roberts...

 

[sparkchaser]

Yeah, but only if you're Julia Roberts...

Or a gerbil.

 

[impalpable]

The good guy gets the girl, as long as he learns something on the way.

Everyone is witty, no matter how dire the situation.

You will be chased by a serial killer if you live in the middle of no where/are visiting the middle of no where/get no cell reception.

Zombies can be killed many different ways depending on the director. Some zombies are fast, others are slow, and others still are blue.

 

[Occlith]

Any big money making movie will have a sequel, even if there shouldn't be one.

What I've learned from television is that an interesting, original series will be put in a poor time slot and last about one and a half seasons, maybe a full second season after a fan based letter writing campaign, after which it still will not be moved to a better time slot and be canceled anyway.

 

[silverseason]

Women wearing high heels and being chased by sadistic rapists or killers will weave from side to side, thus slowing their forward progress.

People who live in the country and feed chickens, milk cows and plow fields rarely get their hands dirty. An artistic smudge on one cheek is sometimes acceptable.

In movies made prior to 1950, the sleeping heroine, when awakened, always puts on the negligee lying across the foot of the bed.

People stuck in lifeboats, caves, locked rooms or elevators for long periods of time may get hungry or thirsty but they never need to pee.

Small children lisp.

 

[irishclover011]

Everyone is witty, no matter how dire the situation. QUOTE]

What are you saying here? Because I think in a near death situation I would be witty.

Things in black and white are more dramatic.

If he loves you, he will hold poster board saying so.

People are willing to forgive anything or will learn to.

The good guys can always be distinguished by their white/brighter colored clothing. Likewise the bad guys will be in black.

 

[impalpable]

Everyone is witty, no matter how dire the situation.

What are you saying here? Because I think in a near death situation I would be witty.

Obviously you and I are the exception, but not everyone is as awesome as we are.

 

[irishclover011]

Obviously you and I are the exception, but not everyone is as awesome as we are.

Thank you.