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Writing Advice - Need help please

RB816

New Member
Hey, I've been running my own blog for over a year now. I recently added a story titled "Inhalant" which falls under the category of transgressive fiction (I guess you could say like Chuck Palahniuk, Bret Easton Ellis, etc.) I could really use some feedback, thoughts, opinions on my writing.

You can read the entire story for free here athttp://www.warpedtongues.blogspot.com/2 ... alant.html

I can really use some advice so I can try and improve. Do you think I'm ready to be a writer, or do I need more practice? What lines of dialogue do you like, which ones do you hate? Am I using too many nouns, too many adjectives, not enough verbs? Any advice or feedback would be greatly appreciated. I can handle negative feedback too. Sometimes you have to be a little negative to help someone realize what they're doing wrong.

Please help! Thanks for your time
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