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The Dice Man - Andrew Dice Clay

I have a story idea for all of us. Maybe we can all collaborate. Here's the beginning:

There's this writing competition, called Writer Idol, let's say. And at first all the crappy writers are voted off, one by one. Except there is this one writer, let's call him Sanjia, or Vangina, or something silly, and he keeps making it though the rounds for some reason, keeps coming back even though everyone in the world knows he's a horrible writer. The judges keep saying, "That was bluh-ee awful. Like a cat trying to mas'tabate wiff a violin" and "Dude, dawg, dude man, you sucked, dawg" and the ever-inspiring "I liked your hair, and stuff.... hic" (drinking iced vodka from her Coca Cola glass). And this Vagina fellow, he makes it through to the top five and, at last, he gets voted off. The world mourns. So, he later shows up on a writing forum to state his fame to those not addicted to Writer Idol. He begins posting his stories, his poems, his "world-changing" literature. The members of the forum revolt. They try to vote him off, but the forum has no such mechanism of eliminating wannabe writers, as did Writer Idol. So they ignore him. And ignore him. And ignore him. For a while, this hack writer threatens to quit the forum altogether... for weeks, and weeks, and weeks, trying to get someone to care. After no such luck, he leaves. But, for some reason, about a month or two later, he returns. He starts his posting, over and over again. More stories. More poems. More crap. The members of the forum can ignore him no longer. They intervene. They try to be Idol judges. Some make some interesting, valid arguments, stating how badly this person's work sucks. In fact, all of them do. Except Fanjina, or Vagina, or whatever we want to call him; it doesn't really matter.

That's all I've got so far. If anyone wants to add anything, please feel free. This is a work in progress.

Ohh! Can I be a judge? I can be a real bitch and I have an interesting accent.
 
while sirmyk's post was in jest, I do believe that we need an annual writer's competition here. Pick some judges and let's see the creative talent that we have. I for one, would love to read any entries that we would receive.
 
while sirmyk's post was in jest, I do believe that we need an annual writer's competition here. Pick some judges and let's see the creative talent that we have. I for one, would love to read any entries that we would receive.

I don't really think that's too good an idea. I for one never put anything that I've actually thrown effort into on here. I tossed on some half-assed stories earlier that no one read, and that was fine since I didn't care about them, either. I'm pretty sure lots of the writers here keep their true hard work to themselves, so the competition wouldn't be too fun. At least, I don't think anyone with the talent behind them would actually waste time putting forth their strengths into some crap when they could be doing something that they actually care about.

But hey, I could be wrong. Probably am, actually...
 
II have a better accent
Says who? Perhaps we need DS to set up another BAR Skypecast so that the members can vote it out. I've been told my accent sounds "hot". All I can say for you Scots is "open mouth, spit out marbles".

and can wear trousers up to my nipples if the situation requires it.

Well then. That certainly qualifies you for something. I'm just not sure that Writing Idol is that something.
 
No amount of 'Writer Idol' can beat the record set by the now-defunct forum www.bewrite.net

BeWrite is a book publisher that ran a forum from 1999 until February of 2007, when they finally closed the forum. Forum members sent in short stories, which were edited by professionals and posted in a categorized database, i.e. Science Fiction, Horror, Fantasy, Romance, etc.

Every week for five years they also held a Flash Fiction comp with these rules: 200 words or 40 lines max of poetry. The flash comp was separate from the short story database.

When BeWrite closed (with a 90-day warning, so people could download their stories), they had nearly 10,000 short stories and uncounted flash stories on file for anyone to view. Along the way, they published books by some of the contributors, since the BeWrite editors saw a lot of good work, and offered out contracts to the best writers.

How much reading is involved in 10,000 stories? Well, if you read four stories a day, seven days a week, it would take you almost SEVEN YEARS to get through them all. I am good friends with BeWrite head editor Neil Marr, and I told him this: You should save that database and put it into a time capsule. I like to think they did.

Beat that...:)
 
No amount of 'Writer Idol' can beat the record set by the now-defunct forum www.bewrite.net

BeWrite is a book publisher that ran a forum from 1999 until February of 2007, when they finally closed the forum. Forum members sent in short stories, which were edited by professionals and posted in a categorized database, i.e. Science Fiction, Horror, Fantasy, Romance, etc.

Every week for five years they also held a Flash Fiction comp with these rules: 200 words or 40 lines max of poetry. The flash comp was separate from the short story database.

When BeWrite closed (with a 90-day warning, so people could download their stories), they had nearly 10,000 short stories and uncounted flash stories on file for anyone to view. Along the way, they published books by some of the contributors, since the BeWrite editors saw a lot of good work, and offered out contracts to the best writers.

How much reading is involved in 10,000 stories? Well, if you read four stories a day, seven days a week, it would take you almost SEVEN YEARS to get through them all. I am good friends with BeWrite head editor Neil Marr, and I told him this: You should save that database and put it into a time capsule. I like to think they did.

Beat that...:)

Thanks for sharing the story RobertM, I have to say that you post the most interesting things from time to time. That must've been one heck of a forum.
 
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