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my shortest attempt on poetry

honeydevil

Active Member
Hey guys, i think it isn't ready,but i'm not so sure, i need a title and critique... feel free to say whatever you want the way you want to .. thanks



Hate what everybody loves
Run when everybody stays
Too proud to turn around
Just to see I’m home

Miles away from what I know
Only to find the place to go
Found the way to be
My favorite me
 
sirmyk said:
Change "to" to "too". Not sure about the title.

The first to.

Should be "Too proud to turn around".

I'm not much into poetry so I can't be much of a critic for you though.
 
mehastings said:
The first to.

Should be "Too proud to turn around".

I'm not much into poetry so I can't be much of a critic for you though.

thanks, i was looking at that and i just went crazy because i couldn't find the right "to.." :D
 
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