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Elias Zapple
Last Activity:
Jul 20, 2014
Joined:
Sep 14, 2013
Messages:
7
Likes Received:
0
Trophy Points:
1
Gender:
Male
Birthday:
Apr 1, 1978 (Age: 41)
Location:
Maputo, Mozambique
Occupation:
Children's author, moustache model

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Elias Zapple

New Member, Male, 41, from Maputo, Mozambique

Combing. Nov 12, 2013

Elias Zapple was last seen:
Jul 20, 2014
    1. Elias Zapple
    2. Elias Zapple
      Elias Zapple
      Admiring myself.
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  • About

    Gender:
    Male
    Birthday:
    Apr 1, 1978 (Age: 41)
    Location:
    Maputo, Mozambique
    Occupation:
    Children's author, moustache model
    Gender:
    Male
    Currently Reading:
    Duke & Michel: The King Tingaling Painting
    Top Three Books:
    'How to Put Up a Tent' by R.P. Baden.

    'Get the Most Out of Your Pet Slug' by Slim Y. Roach.

    'Cabbages - The Wonderful World of...' by Mya Sprouts.
    Top Three Authors:
    Roald Dahl
    Me
    The person I see in the mirror
    Elias Zapple was not born in 1922, as some would have you believe. His date of birth is not really relevant anyway. What is relevant is that he arose out of a tulip that was growing in some old granny's garden in Camberwell. How he got to be in a tulip is not really clear, nor is it clear how he got out of the tulip and years later wrote the smash hit musical, 'Love be a Stranger', which was an international flop.

    After that success, he went on to work as a 19th century Victorian chimney sweep where he was then inspired to write the acclaimed series of books entitled 'Duke & Michel'. It is believed the fumes from the chimneys did so much damage to Elias that it was a miracle he ever ate a cupcake again.

    Later, he time travelled back to the present and went on a series of trips to many foreign and distant lands. During these travels, Elias met and spoke to many interesting people, choosing to ignore all of them. He did, however, learn a couple of things. 1) The earth is flat and 2) You should never eat a banana when it's not ripe.

    Many questions are often asked by his adoring public. Are you human? How many chimpanzees can fit inside a fridge? What is that thing growing on the side of your head? To which Mr. Zapple has always smiled, turned away and swam off into the sunset, only once being bitten by an unfriendly shark.

    Elias Zapple continues to work towards the unification of Korea and writing children's stories that parents will spend huge sums of money on. He wishes everybody to know that every penny made from the books will go straight into his bank account, which he will then spend on a lavish, new tent.