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This is something I was thinking about for days, but it wouldn't take shape in my mind, until today. I hope you enjoy it.:) The thunderous cheering of the crowd suffocated the scream of the dying man as he fell heavily to the sand. Staring at the sky, he blinked in shock, pressed his hands...

LOL, that was a good one.:D

Well, even if it wasn't, you should try to correct those types of erros before you post, just and advice based on self-experience:)

Isn't it supposed to be these...feet? You're using plural.;) ? I think that after seem you should put a period as well as after "dont" (apostrophe , pls). Use "I'm" or "I am" and put a question mark after go, since I assume the last verse is a question. Overall is was good but sad at the...

I shall consider your opinion.:)

Hey, tell your son that if this gets someday published I'll send him a signed copy::D . What can I say about your last sentence? I think a "Thanks" is the best answer, for saying something else would become a self-compliment statement.

I'm glad you do, although some people have told me that the best one was the third. I guess everybody has different points of views.:)

Well, it did take me time to write this, I would say a whole day, started it on Saturday morning and finished it at late afternoon. As for the effort, I put as much as I could into it; I think that the fact that English is my second language and that I am still trying to master it, corroborates...

Thanks for the feedback, guys, I really appreciate it.:)

OKay, I see both of your points, thanks for the recommendations.:)

I have, the real one, not the abridged edition. So I pretty much know the epic tale.

Indeed, it IS funny, specially that last part. That guy's junt dumb, but I like it that way. Good job, man! You made my life happy for a while.;)

Thanks for the compliment, ValkyrieRaven88, I really appreciate it. Don't forget to read the last chapter I've posted, though, "Riddles of the Khar". I hope you like it as well.

Thanks for the advice, but I already made an account there just two days ago, thanks to you also, for in one of your replies you mentioned the website, so I just went there. The bad thing is that I still have to wait one more day.:)

Hi: I'm looking for other forums, or websites like this, where I can post my work. Can anyone give me some recommendations, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.:)

It'll be better if you post the whole story, so that we can see what comes out of that. So far, by the description of the chapters, it doesn't seem that good but at least it's always worth to take a look at.;)

Hey guys, I really appreciate your comments. TerishD, thanks for the lecture and your advice, which is always welcomed and remembered as I write. tommydarascal, I'm glad you like my stuff, it means a lot to me because I'm seeing that it has been not done in vain. And I will keep writing...

For those who have not read the previous two chapters, I recommend you to do so. This chapter follows the events preceding Dedan's and Valanus' exploits, though they do not appear here. Enjoy it. One last note: the chapter is not finished, the remaining part I will post soon. Chapter 3...

Hi would rather do a poem about Hector, the trojan hero, who died at the hands of the murderous Aquilles because of Athena (I guess it was her, though I don't recall very well), who lied to him by telling him that he would live if he fought Aquilles. For me, he was the real hero of the Trojan...

Thanks you very much! I really appreciate your compliments, and I'm glad that you like the story as well as the way I write it. As for the desciption... well, I thought it was poor, but as R. Jordan says "The work is not done until it reaches the eyes of the reader." :) I'll have more of it...