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50 Shades of Grey

Do you think women who read this book will be given the wrong messages on what a casu

  • Yes

    Votes: 5 29.4%
  • No

    Votes: 12 70.6%

  • Total voters
    17
  • Poll closed .

Prongs91

New Member
This poll is to find public opinions on the book 50 Shades of Grey to see if people think it may be damaging to female readers.

Here is the yes or no question. Please give me your answers in the poll and not the comments but do feel free to comment on this subject additionally: Do you think women who read this book will be given the wrong messages on what a casual relationship will entail and that these messages could damage one's emotional and sexual health?
 

Prongs91

New Member
where one ideology is not the same as what may be a socially acceptable one. In this case, where the idea of casual sex from 50 Shades of Grey may not be agreed upon by the readers.
 

Prongs91

New Member
What I mean is, a person reading this book may think that a casual relationship will go the way it does in the book, that by entering a casual relationship which may or may not include BDSM will end with them getting married and will be perfect. That is what I mean by "the wrong messages about a casual relationship"
 

beer good

Well-Known Member
So your big issue with the "message" in this book is that women you just want to have rough sex with might take it as a sign of commitment?

I have to say that's one complaint against this book I haven't heard before.
 

beer good

Well-Known Member
That's how I understood his statement that he was afraid women might get the "wrong message" that "entering a casual relationship which may or may not include BDSM will end with them getting married and will be perfect". Apologies if I misunderstood. At any rate, I think it's a massively oversimplified question; I think most women are quite capable of thinking for themselves and won't base their entire view of how relationships work on one crapfest of a book.
 

sparkchaser

Administrator and Stuntman
Staff member
If they're both into BSDM, the it might end up being a perfect marriage. I can imagine it would not be fun if you marry someone then find out that they don't like being tied up and whipped when you like tying them up and whipping them.
 

Prongs91

New Member
I'm not saying all women will be affected by this book, but I'm pretty sure some women who are new to the concept of a CASUAL bdsm relationship might get the wrong idea from the book; that a CASUAL relationship will always end up in a happily ever after and that casual relationships are really no different to relationships with lovers. In my opinion, the book doesn't really seem to properly define what "no strings attached" means. Christian Grey's ex-subs were often viewed by the main character as ex-girlfriends, for example.
 

Polly Parrot

Moderator
Staff member
I'm not saying all women will be affected by this book, but I'm pretty sure some women who are new to the concept of a CASUAL bdsm relationship might get the wrong idea from the book; that a CASUAL relationship will always end up in a happily ever after and that casual relationships are really no different to relationships with lovers. In my opinion, the book doesn't really seem to properly define what "no strings attached" means. Christian Grey's ex-subs were often viewed by the main character as ex-girlfriends, for example.

Not sure if I ought to be mildly offended by the idea of myself, as a woman, to be unable to understand what a casual relationship entails.


Anyhow, presumably, anyone involved in a casual relationship - regardless of their gender - knows what they got themselves into. Sure, something that was intended as a casual relationship may eventually evolve into something more but that still does not imply that us womenfolk are too thick to understand the concept of a casual relationship when starting one.


I will step off my feminist soap box now.
 

Laura173

New Member
I don't think the problem with the books is casual sex I think the problem is the way that Mr Grey completely controls Anastasia. Okay I get that control is part of the agreement that they have but there are points in the book where he goes too far. I found their relationship to be abusive (both mentally and physically) but Anastasia believes he will change and finally succeeds in changing him. I don't think this is a good message for other women in abusive relationships - 99.9% of abusers won't change, and giving them the hope that they will is dangerous, in my opinion.
 

Prongs91

New Member
Not sure if I ought to be mildly offended by the idea of myself, as a woman, to be unable to understand what a casual relationship entails.


Anyhow, presumably, anyone involved in a casual relationship - regardless of their gender - knows what they got themselves into. Sure, something that was intended as a casual relationship may eventually evolve into something more but that still does not imply that us womenfolk are too thick to understand the concept of a casual relationship when starting one.


I will step off my feminist soap box now.

Again, I'm sure that not all women would be affected this way, but you can't guarantee that all women will think the same way about it.
 

Prongs91

New Member
I don't think the problem with the books is casual sex I think the problem is the way that Mr Grey completely controls Anastasia. Okay I get that control is part of the agreement that they have but there are points in the book where he goes too far. I found their relationship to be abusive (both mentally and physically) but Anastasia believes he will change and finally succeeds in changing him. I don't think this is a good message for other women in abusive relationships - 99.9% of abusers won't change, and giving them the hope that they will is dangerous, in my opinion.

I agree with what you've said. But I've wondered if it still could be called "abuse" if she's consented to it. She was also told so many times in this book by Christian that she could leave if she wanted to; so there were always so many opportunities to pull out if she were unhappy.
 

Polly Parrot

Moderator
Staff member
How do you think these novels would affect men's way of thinking about women? Would it make them objectify them even more? Or make them think abuse and manipulation of the woman they're with is OK?
 

Prongs91

New Member
How do you think these novels would affect men's way of thinking about women? Would it make them objectify them even more? Or make them think abuse and manipulation of the woman they're with is OK?

To be honest with you, I think neither of them would be the case for a sensible man. A sensible man would see that the way Ana thinks is really not a good representation of the way a self-respecting woman would think. Though, some men might read this book and think this is the way to treat women because the main character seems to want it, so that might mean that all women want to be treated the same way. But that is a very stupid way of thinking.
 

Polly Parrot

Moderator
Staff member
Ah, so you think that men are capable of seeing through the novel as being a work of fiction and not allow their lives and mode of conduct to be influenced by it? Whereas women, if I follow your line of reasoning, are stupid and get "the wrong message"?


The world makes sense again. I shall go play with my (pink, of course) crayons now and have my Barbie dolls lead a fantasy life akin to Anastasia Steele's with Ken.
 
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