Fieldy
New Member
My writng has struggled over the past months. So I thought about submitting this into a short story competition. Could you please give a critque back if you read it. Most importantly I hope you enjoy
My confession is this: I am a madman like Don Quixote and as foolish as his faithful squire Sancho; and my deed is as great of the Gaul of Amadias and insane as the truth. I am enchanted to Don Quixote as he himself was of romantic chivalries, irony has its jokes, but the written piece will not be the last laugh
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Chapter???
- The adventure in Semonia of the dead king Leonardis
Following the previous adventure of the sentimentality of the monk, of the message of which he passed. The knight of the sorry face and Sancho riding on Rocainte and the ass respectively, decided to investigate the cause of this message:
The great king Leonardis of Semonia,
Faced his death, with a knife in his chest,
An unfearful fate he faced,
Where in his own arm of power he ended his grace.
Through the hills they travelled east from whence they were in Malpais, aghast rocky creeks and shallow waters in amongst vast beauty of uninhabited land. From the depths of the unknown to the reality in front of them, across rocky ropes upon the volcano that underneath bore spiteful larva to the stony steps leading to the kingdom of Semonia. Upon the great castle, they were stopped at the huge pinewood gates, there lay a guard. Don Quixote spoke,
“Hello servant of this prosperous town and magnificent kingdom, lay down your guard and drop your weapon, for you are obliged to let me understand the knowledge of the unfortunate murder of this noble king.” To which the guard looked puzzled and confused to which he replied.
“For you must have the wrong message since the king Leonardis untimely demise was the slain of his own hand. Unable to bear the grief of his only daughter and the receding power of his rule, a life empty of all its worth had but only one challenge left, to show his maximum courage and strength of will to grant testimony to the gods of that which creates and that which destroys,”
To which Don Quixote pulled his squire and himself a few steps back before declaring towards him
“An evil enchanter has cast a spell to manipulate there memory. Such a noble and gracious king defiant in his victories to build an empire stronger than stone and brick, to kill himself when his sun is in the shade! I forbid the story of suicide, for it is exactly that, the essence of fiction. A peasant adopted into a family nobility, that avenged the death of his true father Sulcron, that laughed in the face of adversity and turned its back on misfortune, to become the always great king Leonardis. That the end of this truly exquisite man should be shrouded with lies of discontent of unbelievable rumours. As the rules of chivalry allow I will beseech thee and as a knight errant I will fight the injustice of all injustices. My faithful squire, watch as I overpower this kingdom and implant the truth so all will know.” Sancho spoke quickly with discomfort to persuade Don Quixote against this blood lust task.
“Do not fight an injustice when there is not even justice belonging to this event. Have not great men and peasants alike, forced themselves into the mystery of which is death when love have served them wrong. Did not Grisostomo’s suffer great disdain of his own hand when the rose like beauty of Marcela reject his advances and scornfully spurned his love? Did not Romeo give his final kiss on Juliet’s lips, the doors of breath and the taste of apothecary when the stunning Juliet seemingly faked her own death leading to the tragedy of Romeo? Did not the king Leonardis produce an offspring with beauty surpassing that of Helena Troy and Lucretia, to lose his daughter would be to lose a part of him and this to be replaced by grief. Love such a strong emotion able to breathe life into a gloomy existence and to finish an existence previously sparkling with jest and joy. Does not history show us examples as I have mentioned that the answer must be that of suicide?”
Don Quixote nodded with a sense of approval over Sancho’s powerful point of view but he was not to be persuaded and replied back to his squire.
“Your reasoning is profound and you have learned well but I am not completely impressed. History and personal experience have shown that an enchanter is more likely than love. My faithful squire you have much to learn and hopefully in time, knowledge will smile with delight at you. Was I mistaken when evil enchanters and spirits carpet tossed you at the inn? Do you dare call me a liar that an evil enchanter built an impregnable wall to stop me reading my books of chivalry romances? Are you admitting your blasphemy towards King Arthur, that he was not cursed into a raven? Hasn’t life taught us that old man loses its memory when the mental barrier against such curses has dissolved of its strengths? Are you claiming that you know all about the vastness of life and its grave secrets? Is not death amorous and some agendas so great that even the after life will not accept them? Yet inexplicably you ascribe to an intangible concept of love! Sancho lets not waste heed and embark on overthrowing the castle. Tie Rocainte and the ass to the nearest tree.”
Sancho obeyed his master and with haste succeeded in doing his masters orders. Don Quixote slowly strolled towards the guard and drew his sword slicing the kinsmen aside with ease. Both entered the castle hallway with gospel stained glass windows and artisan walls, a distress call soon followed sounded by the previous guard. The two valiant men were moments from being surrounded in every direction by half a dozen armoured guards, but courageously they were standing there ground before being battered and kicked until near death.
The escape, drinking of the bsalm and further mishaps in the next chapter …
My confession is this: I am a madman like Don Quixote and as foolish as his faithful squire Sancho; and my deed is as great of the Gaul of Amadias and insane as the truth. I am enchanted to Don Quixote as he himself was of romantic chivalries, irony has its jokes, but the written piece will not be the last laugh
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter???
- The adventure in Semonia of the dead king Leonardis
Following the previous adventure of the sentimentality of the monk, of the message of which he passed. The knight of the sorry face and Sancho riding on Rocainte and the ass respectively, decided to investigate the cause of this message:
The great king Leonardis of Semonia,
Faced his death, with a knife in his chest,
An unfearful fate he faced,
Where in his own arm of power he ended his grace.
Through the hills they travelled east from whence they were in Malpais, aghast rocky creeks and shallow waters in amongst vast beauty of uninhabited land. From the depths of the unknown to the reality in front of them, across rocky ropes upon the volcano that underneath bore spiteful larva to the stony steps leading to the kingdom of Semonia. Upon the great castle, they were stopped at the huge pinewood gates, there lay a guard. Don Quixote spoke,
“Hello servant of this prosperous town and magnificent kingdom, lay down your guard and drop your weapon, for you are obliged to let me understand the knowledge of the unfortunate murder of this noble king.” To which the guard looked puzzled and confused to which he replied.
“For you must have the wrong message since the king Leonardis untimely demise was the slain of his own hand. Unable to bear the grief of his only daughter and the receding power of his rule, a life empty of all its worth had but only one challenge left, to show his maximum courage and strength of will to grant testimony to the gods of that which creates and that which destroys,”
To which Don Quixote pulled his squire and himself a few steps back before declaring towards him
“An evil enchanter has cast a spell to manipulate there memory. Such a noble and gracious king defiant in his victories to build an empire stronger than stone and brick, to kill himself when his sun is in the shade! I forbid the story of suicide, for it is exactly that, the essence of fiction. A peasant adopted into a family nobility, that avenged the death of his true father Sulcron, that laughed in the face of adversity and turned its back on misfortune, to become the always great king Leonardis. That the end of this truly exquisite man should be shrouded with lies of discontent of unbelievable rumours. As the rules of chivalry allow I will beseech thee and as a knight errant I will fight the injustice of all injustices. My faithful squire, watch as I overpower this kingdom and implant the truth so all will know.” Sancho spoke quickly with discomfort to persuade Don Quixote against this blood lust task.
“Do not fight an injustice when there is not even justice belonging to this event. Have not great men and peasants alike, forced themselves into the mystery of which is death when love have served them wrong. Did not Grisostomo’s suffer great disdain of his own hand when the rose like beauty of Marcela reject his advances and scornfully spurned his love? Did not Romeo give his final kiss on Juliet’s lips, the doors of breath and the taste of apothecary when the stunning Juliet seemingly faked her own death leading to the tragedy of Romeo? Did not the king Leonardis produce an offspring with beauty surpassing that of Helena Troy and Lucretia, to lose his daughter would be to lose a part of him and this to be replaced by grief. Love such a strong emotion able to breathe life into a gloomy existence and to finish an existence previously sparkling with jest and joy. Does not history show us examples as I have mentioned that the answer must be that of suicide?”
Don Quixote nodded with a sense of approval over Sancho’s powerful point of view but he was not to be persuaded and replied back to his squire.
“Your reasoning is profound and you have learned well but I am not completely impressed. History and personal experience have shown that an enchanter is more likely than love. My faithful squire you have much to learn and hopefully in time, knowledge will smile with delight at you. Was I mistaken when evil enchanters and spirits carpet tossed you at the inn? Do you dare call me a liar that an evil enchanter built an impregnable wall to stop me reading my books of chivalry romances? Are you admitting your blasphemy towards King Arthur, that he was not cursed into a raven? Hasn’t life taught us that old man loses its memory when the mental barrier against such curses has dissolved of its strengths? Are you claiming that you know all about the vastness of life and its grave secrets? Is not death amorous and some agendas so great that even the after life will not accept them? Yet inexplicably you ascribe to an intangible concept of love! Sancho lets not waste heed and embark on overthrowing the castle. Tie Rocainte and the ass to the nearest tree.”
Sancho obeyed his master and with haste succeeded in doing his masters orders. Don Quixote slowly strolled towards the guard and drew his sword slicing the kinsmen aside with ease. Both entered the castle hallway with gospel stained glass windows and artisan walls, a distress call soon followed sounded by the previous guard. The two valiant men were moments from being surrounded in every direction by half a dozen armoured guards, but courageously they were standing there ground before being battered and kicked until near death.
The escape, drinking of the bsalm and further mishaps in the next chapter …