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Bad Valentine's Poetry--or any bad poetry!
- Thread starter novella
- Start date
honeydevil
Active Member
novella said:
here you get your bad poetry!!
Valentine oh valentine
How I love you so much
I know you come once a year
but I wish that you came everyday!
novella
Active Member
The Old One-Two-Three
(I read about this skywriting divorcee today in the NY Times.)
A guy wrote in the sky
“Good-bye house, Good-bye wife”,
And turned over a new life
Like a motor on a boat
Like a reversible overcoat
Like a randy old goat
His new true love was stacked
But greedy, that’s a fact
His fortune was hijacked.
Wife One back in Westport,
Not being the forgiving sort
Flogged him in divorce court.
Now he lives in Jersey City
His third one’s very pretty,
She don’t mind living gritty.
Washing his socks in the sink
Gives him plenty of time to think
And then he pours a stiff drink.
True love, true love
Led him astray
He misses his pool
And his fat IRA*
True love, true love
Fooled his true heart
He once had a Lexus
Now drives a Dodge Dart.
*individual retirement account, not Irish thingy.
(I read about this skywriting divorcee today in the NY Times.)
A guy wrote in the sky
“Good-bye house, Good-bye wife”,
And turned over a new life
Like a motor on a boat
Like a reversible overcoat
Like a randy old goat
His new true love was stacked
But greedy, that’s a fact
His fortune was hijacked.
Wife One back in Westport,
Not being the forgiving sort
Flogged him in divorce court.
Now he lives in Jersey City
His third one’s very pretty,
She don’t mind living gritty.
Washing his socks in the sink
Gives him plenty of time to think
And then he pours a stiff drink.
True love, true love
Led him astray
He misses his pool
And his fat IRA*
True love, true love
Fooled his true heart
He once had a Lexus
Now drives a Dodge Dart.
*individual retirement account, not Irish thingy.
honeydevil
Active Member
that was cruel, how can anybody write something like that??
novella
Active Member
No Heart for Wolfie
Lone wolf
He is the one wolf
Related to dogs and such
Stalking proudly without any friends
Lone wolf
No Valentine for you
Maybe some meat,
But no heart.
So don’t get your hopes up
Mister Wolf.
Lone wolf
He is like a man
Except with fur and big teeth
And paws. And better instinct.
He thinks like a man, in a way, sort of.
Lone wolf
Be a man, don’t cry
Don’t howl like a damn baby
All the other animals are nice and quiet
You big wimp.
Lone wolf.
Lone wolf
He is the one wolf
Related to dogs and such
Stalking proudly without any friends
Lone wolf
No Valentine for you
Maybe some meat,
But no heart.
So don’t get your hopes up
Mister Wolf.
Lone wolf
He is like a man
Except with fur and big teeth
And paws. And better instinct.
He thinks like a man, in a way, sort of.
Lone wolf
Be a man, don’t cry
Don’t howl like a damn baby
All the other animals are nice and quiet
You big wimp.
Lone wolf.
honeydevil
Active Member
would you just stop that?? this isn't even funny, i can live with this thing about valentines day, but with poetry, you shouldn't mess!!
stop it right now!!
lalalalala
stop it right now!!
lalalalala
Ell
Well-Known Member
Bad? You want bad? How's this:
Alas and alack, Valentine's is over.
Another year and we'll all recover
From the heartache of no lover.
The Tale of Two Valentines:
With sweaty palm and misty eye
You waited for his call.
It did not come, why did he lie?
Oh, the heartache of it all.
Yet over yonder, she has a date
Cherries and chocolates that all got ate.
Never in doubt of her manly man
A Valentine's sweetheart of a man.
Alas and alack, Valentine's is over.
Another year and we'll all recover
From the heartache of no lover.
The Tale of Two Valentines:
With sweaty palm and misty eye
You waited for his call.
It did not come, why did he lie?
Oh, the heartache of it all.
Yet over yonder, she has a date
Cherries and chocolates that all got ate.
Never in doubt of her manly man
A Valentine's sweetheart of a man.
novella
Active Member
Very bad, Halo! Thanks!
I Heart Myself
I heart myself
Cause I’m nice
I don’t have fleas
I don’t have lice.
I heart myself
I look okay
If it’s not
A bad hair day.
I heart myself
With self esteem
I would pick myself
For the basketball team
I heart myself
Do you heart you?
I would heart you
If you asked me to.
I Heart Myself
I heart myself
Cause I’m nice
I don’t have fleas
I don’t have lice.
I heart myself
I look okay
If it’s not
A bad hair day.
I heart myself
With self esteem
I would pick myself
For the basketball team
I heart myself
Do you heart you?
I would heart you
If you asked me to.
novella
Active Member
2 bad 2 be 4 gotten
My mind is wrapped around you
Like a damp towel BUT
When I try to picture your exact face
In the eye/movie-screen of my mind
It comes in fuzzy and wavy
Like bad reception.
Love is blocking the signal
There is real electricity in the brain
I read it in the paper
So this is quite possible
Though hard to believe.
My mind is wrapped around you
Like a damp towel BUT
When I try to picture your exact face
In the eye/movie-screen of my mind
It comes in fuzzy and wavy
Like bad reception.
Love is blocking the signal
There is real electricity in the brain
I read it in the paper
So this is quite possible
Though hard to believe.
honeydevil
Active Member
novella said:
where the heck do you get this stuff?? this is awful, that should be a crime!!
honeydevil
Active Member
you're welcome!!novella said:THANK YOU!!
novella
Active Member
Fair Warning
The suckiest job belongs to Cupid
Shooting people’s pretty stupid
I don’t think it makes them feel romantic
They just bleed and run around all frantic.
If he hit me with one of them darts
I’d get a real gun from WalMarts
And shoot him in his chubby thigh,
See how he likes it, wouldn’t I.
Plus he’s always in the nude
Looks like a baby, not a dude
I think he ought to wear some clothes
Before I punch him in the nose.
novella
Active Member
In Every Chest, Behind the Ribs
In every chest, behind the ribs
There is a 5-inch long complicated organ called the heart.
And inside every heart there is a shadow
Stretching into the coronary valve
Like a black oil slick of memory
That you would really rather forget.
The left ventricle is a chamber of sorrow
Especially when you dwell on it
And can’t even think about something else
Someone once said the heart is a muscle
That seems to not convey the essence
Of true heart feeling that is in every chest
Beating like a bull frog
And about the same size as well.
In every chest, behind the ribs
There is a 5-inch long complicated organ called the heart.
And inside every heart there is a shadow
Stretching into the coronary valve
Like a black oil slick of memory
That you would really rather forget.
The left ventricle is a chamber of sorrow
Especially when you dwell on it
And can’t even think about something else
Someone once said the heart is a muscle
That seems to not convey the essence
Of true heart feeling that is in every chest
Beating like a bull frog
And about the same size as well.