ReganFinch
New Member
Hello all. I just finished a new story and I would love to hear what you all think about it.
I've been trying new things recently, and this time, I really wanted to focus on dialog. Please give any criticism or praise kindly. Thank you and enjoy!
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Beneath the Low Limbs
"Do you remember when he took his first steps?" he asked his wife with just a slight hint of a chuckle.
She laughed. "Yes, it was right over there near that tree - which you never have cut down by the way."
He laughed. "You've been saying that for twenty-five years, Sandra. Why do want that tree cut down? It's beautiful, and there have been many summers when that shade was a life-saver."
"Oh, James, I never actually wanted it cut down. I just want to know that I can still tell you what to do from time to time." She looked at him with that sly smile that made him chuckle every time he saw it.
Sandra moved a little bit closer to James as they rocked back and forth in their porch swing. He put his arm around her as their feet pushed against the cool planks.
"You know, when Stephen stood up for the first time, I remember him looking at me with those blue eyes and laughing," he said as he stared at the open ground beneath those low limbs. He didn't see how weathered the tree was. He saw it as it was twenty-three years ago, when his son had stared up at him with his smiling face, motioning to be held.
"I remember, I remember," she remarked as silent tears filled her eyes.
"It's hard to imagine that he's a married man now."
"He'll be a great husband, James. I believe he had a great teacher in that department." They quietly laughed as they continued to sway back and forth.
James looked at his watch and saw that it was almost seven o'clock. "Did you get that chicken that I asked for?"
"That breaded, spicy kind that you have been bugging me about?"
"Yes."
"Yes, I got it. Why, are you hungry?"
"A little. All of this reminiscing is giving me an empty stomach."
James helped Sandra up from the swing. She had developed arthritis in her back very early in her thirties, and she always felt its tight grip after a cool day.
James opened the front door to his house, and when he did, all the memories of his dear boy came back to him. He saw the chair that engulfed his son when he was only three. He saw the bookcase where he had kept all of Stephen's drawings. He saw the table where they had played "Go Fish".
"James, give me a few minutes to get that chicken ready."
"Alright, thanks dear."
He stepped over to the window and once again stared at the ground under the low limbs. I never thought it would hurt this much, he thought. Stephen, I really hope that you are happy. Tears filled his eyes as he walked away from the window and over to the bookcase. Sandra always loved to put pictures of Stephen in her own hand-made frames, and then on top of this tiny bookcase. He looked them all over. Stephen's first baby picture, a slightly torn picture of him and his first dog, Rocky, his graduation picture, and finally his wedding picture. Stephen had always hated taking pictures, he thought.
He finally moved away from the pictures and sat down on the couch. As he turned the TV on, Sandra poked her head out from the kitchen and said, "James, come on in here. Set the table while I'm finishing up."
"Yes, dear," he said as he turned it back off.
He laid out two sets of knives and forks as she removed the chicken from the oven. She opened one of the cabinets, removed two plates, and set them on the table.
"Heavens, Sandra, I was about to get those," James sighed with a slight hint of a smile.
"I know, but I was right there." She looked at him with the same sly smile and he chuckled.
"That chicken didn't take very long did it?"
"Well, I was actually going to surprise you with it, so I had already cooked it."
"I always knew I picked the perfect woman."
"Well, I'm still trying to figure out if I picked the perfect man." The laughter from the kitchen could be heard next door.
When everything was ready for them to eat, they sat down at the old wooden table. James held Sandra's hands and offered a prayer of thanks. Afterwards, the both uttered, "Amen".
As James was about to cut into his chicken, he heard a knock at the door.
"Ya, hold on, I'm coming," he screamed as he made his way from the table and into the living room.
James opened the door and saw exactly who he wanted to see.
"Stephen?!" He embraced his son and quickly embraced his new wife standing beside him. "What are you two doing back? I thought your honeymoon wasn't over for another two days!"
Sandra crept up behind James and let out a excited gasp as she hugged her son and new daughter-in-law.
"The resort only booked us for a week instead of the nine days, so, we just decided to come home," answered Stephen, as he smiled and put his arm around his wife. "Can we come in, Pop?"
"Well of course, Son!" James exclaimed as he was showing them in.
"Is that chicken I smell, Mom?"
"Sure is," Sandra said.
"Well, if its alright, Katie and I would love to dine with you this evening." Stephen smiled the same sly smile that his mother did. James chuckled once again.
"That is, if you have enough," Katie spoke up and said as she looked back and forth between James and Sandra. She was still nervous around her new family.
"Well, of course there is enough! Come on in the kitchen, and we'll get you a plate," Sandra said.
They all went into the kitchen except for James.
"Are you coming, Dad?" Stephen asked.
"Just one minute."
James looked out through the open door and stared at the ground beneath those low limbs. He wiped away a final tear from his eye and made his way into the kitchen.
I've been trying new things recently, and this time, I really wanted to focus on dialog. Please give any criticism or praise kindly. Thank you and enjoy!
================================================
Beneath the Low Limbs
"Do you remember when he took his first steps?" he asked his wife with just a slight hint of a chuckle.
She laughed. "Yes, it was right over there near that tree - which you never have cut down by the way."
He laughed. "You've been saying that for twenty-five years, Sandra. Why do want that tree cut down? It's beautiful, and there have been many summers when that shade was a life-saver."
"Oh, James, I never actually wanted it cut down. I just want to know that I can still tell you what to do from time to time." She looked at him with that sly smile that made him chuckle every time he saw it.
Sandra moved a little bit closer to James as they rocked back and forth in their porch swing. He put his arm around her as their feet pushed against the cool planks.
"You know, when Stephen stood up for the first time, I remember him looking at me with those blue eyes and laughing," he said as he stared at the open ground beneath those low limbs. He didn't see how weathered the tree was. He saw it as it was twenty-three years ago, when his son had stared up at him with his smiling face, motioning to be held.
"I remember, I remember," she remarked as silent tears filled her eyes.
"It's hard to imagine that he's a married man now."
"He'll be a great husband, James. I believe he had a great teacher in that department." They quietly laughed as they continued to sway back and forth.
James looked at his watch and saw that it was almost seven o'clock. "Did you get that chicken that I asked for?"
"That breaded, spicy kind that you have been bugging me about?"
"Yes."
"Yes, I got it. Why, are you hungry?"
"A little. All of this reminiscing is giving me an empty stomach."
James helped Sandra up from the swing. She had developed arthritis in her back very early in her thirties, and she always felt its tight grip after a cool day.
James opened the front door to his house, and when he did, all the memories of his dear boy came back to him. He saw the chair that engulfed his son when he was only three. He saw the bookcase where he had kept all of Stephen's drawings. He saw the table where they had played "Go Fish".
"James, give me a few minutes to get that chicken ready."
"Alright, thanks dear."
He stepped over to the window and once again stared at the ground under the low limbs. I never thought it would hurt this much, he thought. Stephen, I really hope that you are happy. Tears filled his eyes as he walked away from the window and over to the bookcase. Sandra always loved to put pictures of Stephen in her own hand-made frames, and then on top of this tiny bookcase. He looked them all over. Stephen's first baby picture, a slightly torn picture of him and his first dog, Rocky, his graduation picture, and finally his wedding picture. Stephen had always hated taking pictures, he thought.
He finally moved away from the pictures and sat down on the couch. As he turned the TV on, Sandra poked her head out from the kitchen and said, "James, come on in here. Set the table while I'm finishing up."
"Yes, dear," he said as he turned it back off.
He laid out two sets of knives and forks as she removed the chicken from the oven. She opened one of the cabinets, removed two plates, and set them on the table.
"Heavens, Sandra, I was about to get those," James sighed with a slight hint of a smile.
"I know, but I was right there." She looked at him with the same sly smile and he chuckled.
"That chicken didn't take very long did it?"
"Well, I was actually going to surprise you with it, so I had already cooked it."
"I always knew I picked the perfect woman."
"Well, I'm still trying to figure out if I picked the perfect man." The laughter from the kitchen could be heard next door.
When everything was ready for them to eat, they sat down at the old wooden table. James held Sandra's hands and offered a prayer of thanks. Afterwards, the both uttered, "Amen".
As James was about to cut into his chicken, he heard a knock at the door.
"Ya, hold on, I'm coming," he screamed as he made his way from the table and into the living room.
James opened the door and saw exactly who he wanted to see.
"Stephen?!" He embraced his son and quickly embraced his new wife standing beside him. "What are you two doing back? I thought your honeymoon wasn't over for another two days!"
Sandra crept up behind James and let out a excited gasp as she hugged her son and new daughter-in-law.
"The resort only booked us for a week instead of the nine days, so, we just decided to come home," answered Stephen, as he smiled and put his arm around his wife. "Can we come in, Pop?"
"Well of course, Son!" James exclaimed as he was showing them in.
"Is that chicken I smell, Mom?"
"Sure is," Sandra said.
"Well, if its alright, Katie and I would love to dine with you this evening." Stephen smiled the same sly smile that his mother did. James chuckled once again.
"That is, if you have enough," Katie spoke up and said as she looked back and forth between James and Sandra. She was still nervous around her new family.
"Well, of course there is enough! Come on in the kitchen, and we'll get you a plate," Sandra said.
They all went into the kitchen except for James.
"Are you coming, Dad?" Stephen asked.
"Just one minute."
James looked out through the open door and stared at the ground beneath those low limbs. He wiped away a final tear from his eye and made his way into the kitchen.
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