Tony Knights
New Member
Hi guys, I thought I would share with you my first chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Feedback is welcome...
CHAPTER 1A Life Changing Decision
“The hardest thing about the road not taken
is that you never know where it might have led.”
We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us.
I have always believed that everything happens for a reason and if it’s for you, it won’t pass you by. I remember sitting behind my desk as a Warrant Officer serv- ing in Deepcut Camp in Surrey. It was November 2004 and I was taking a break in between teaching my course. I was a Training Instructor teaching Senior Non- Commissioned Officers and Commissioned Officers how to be logisticians.
My Commanding Officer stuck his head around the door and said; ‘Can I have a word with you in my office please, Mr. Knights?’ This caused a stir with my fellow Instructors who were hoping that I had been caught doing something wrong. I knew I wasn’t in trouble though as the C.O. was smiling.
No sooner had I sat down he congratulated me, saying that I had been selected onto the long service list. The long service list is where Warrant Officers could extend their military service by another fifteen years; doing jobs usually the front line soldier would prefer not to do.
In reality this was an opportunity that most Warrant Officers would pray for. Another 15 years serving in the British Army, giving stability and security op-
posed to the vagaries of Civvie Street. Although I had originally applied for the long service list a few years previously whilst in Germany, things had changed, and my life was now very different to what it had been then. Although I was a serving soldier, behind the scenes I had just set up my own Security and Training
1
BULLETS TO BOARDROOM
company. I had already convinced myself that with a year left in the Army I would become an entrepreneur.
This was not a good predicament to be in. I was now left with a situation where I had to make a decision that would drastically change my family life and future.
All of a sudden I had been presented with options. What should have been simple had suddenly become complicated. Do I stay in the Army and accept the security and stability that another fifteen years would give me? Or do I follow my own advice that if you’re going to be a bear, be a grizzly bear.
Being a bear would mean to carry on serving in the Army and stick with all I had ever known; or I could turn my back on it and chase my own dreams. If I de- cided on the latter, would this be selfish or commendable of me? No matter what, if I said I was leaving there would be no turning back and the pressure was on me to make it work in Civvie Street; the land of the unknown. (Civvie Street is the name for life outside the military).
It’s a fact that anyone serving in Her Majesty’s forces who completes the 12 year point, are in a dilemma. After 12 years you are now pensionable and start believ- ing that you are too old to start a new career in the outside world.
I had always been Army mad, giving 100% to everything that I did, and as a reward I had been given all the jobs I had ever wanted. As a disillusioned young soldier who joined the Army to be an action man I found myself serving in the Royal Army Ordnance Corps (RAOC); a corps that was in the rear combat zone and at a very slow pace; far too slow for me. The RAOC, and later the Royal Lo- gistics Corps (RLC) had been good to me, giving me the opportunities that don’t exist in today’s modern army, and I felt loyal and extremely attached to the uni- form that I had worn and served so well for almost 23 years.
The hardened, worn soldier in me thought great, another 15 years in my com- fort zone, whilst the level headed side of me thought I should use this opportunity to turn my back on the Army and chase my new venture; my dreams. As you can see a big part of me was pulling towards making a fresh start in Civvie Street, be- cause if I didn’t do it now I would never do it. And yet I loved the army and it was all that I had ever known. At this point I remember feeling vulnerable, and needed constructive advice to assist me with my decision.
2
1. A LIFE CHANGING DECISION
My personal life would be very instrumental in me making the right decision. I was a Warrant Officer serving in the Army as a single parent and earning a decent wage. I had custody of both my sons from a fifteen year marriage to their mother.
My eldest son, Kevin, had already joined the Army himself and was posted to 16 Air Assault Brigade in Colchester, and seemed content in what he was doing. My youngest son, Jamie, had just finished his exams at school and was due to start job searching. I had brought both my boys up by myself for the past 5 years and I generally believed me leaving the Army wouldn’t hurt either of them in any way.
The fact was that if I stayed in the Army I could find myself going back to Af- ghanistan or Iraq, and I didn’t like the idea of having to leave Jamie with someone for six months. I had also recently started to date a lovely lady called Corina, who had her own three children. It was Corina I sought advice from. A woman that I had fallen in love with, but who obviously didn’t want to express her real feelings in helping me make my decision.
I spent all Christmas of 2004 trying to sort out what I should do.
I had left my Commanding Officer’s office giving him the impression that I was ecstatic by my selection onto the long service list. After all I had to keep my op- tions open, and as it stood I was starting to sway towards the comfort blanket of staying in my beloved Army. I needed help. Corina saying that she would stand by me no matter what, and Jamie telling me to get out of the army, didn’t fit in with my own mood swings of taking the gamble one minute or staying warm in the arms of the Army the next.
Christmas 2004 was spent bringing my two boys together with Corina’s three children for the first time in a group. This proved to be a great Christmas where Kevin could show off his prize present that I had bought him; a £600 1.4 second hand blue Ford Escort. Whilst Kevin entertained Jamie cruising the streets of Surrey in his ford Escort and Corina catered for all of our needs, I remember sitting watching television in my Army house thinking how good life was; and at that point I made my own mind up.
3
BULLETS TO BOARDROOM
I based my decision on what I had achieved in the army over twenty-three years, what I could offer the Army in the role of the long service list, my age and the fact that I had already dabbled in business and liked it.
When I say dabbled in business, I had enough work in Civvie Street to know I couldn’t any longer do both.
I was leaving the army.
Telling my boys was easy; Kevin was probably relieved that his old man wasn’t going to be hovering around his now new Army career, whilst Jamie was just glad that he wouldn’t have to leave his mates behind and start all over again some- where else.
I remember going back into camp on Thursday 06 January 2004 knowing that I had to tell my Commanding Officer that I did not want to accept my position on the long service list. This was going to be interesting, and I wonder if in the his- tory of the Army anyone had had the audacity to turn down such an opportunity.
I watched the Commanding Officer come in to work, put his day sack down in his office then go and make himself a cup of tea. On returning to his office I thought; now is my chance, I’m not punishing myself any more by delaying the obvi- ous. I knocked on his door and he invited me in, wishing me a Happy New Year and passing the time of day with me. He invited me to take a seat and I explained that I no longer wanted to accept the kind invitation to serve any longer in the
Army.
At this point it became strained where he tried to convince me to go away and
rethink. If not, the alternative would be that the Brigadier would want to inter- view me.
Firstly I didn’t need to rethink, I was happy and strong in my decision, and secondly I knew the Brigadier had better things to do with his working day than try and convince me to extend my service. The conversation then led toward my possible opportunity of applying for a commission and becoming an Officer. He started to sound desperate and was I really that valuable to the army that my Commanding Officer would put himself in this uncomfortable position of asking me to please go away and reconsider? We agreed that I would come back to see him after lunch, as if that was going to make any difference.
4
1. A LIFE CHANGING DECISION
During these few hours I knew I had to cement my decision with a watertight story just to save the agro of having to justify my decision once again.
I was teaching Officers how to be Quarter Masters (logisticians) and during one of the breaks I bumped into the Commanding Officer where we had an informal chat. I explained not only do I want to withdraw my extension but I also wanted six months gardening leave as I had already gained a contract working in Dubai with their Police Academy. This was obviously not true but something that I was working on that later did happen. He bought into this story and I also made it clear if I didn’t get the six months gardening leave I would lose the contract that would affect my Company and future.
The Commanding Officer now was pushing for my cause and in no time my extension had been offered to another soldier in Germany that I later met. By the way, he couldn’t thank me enough for having turned it down, thus giving him the opportunity!
I got my six months gardening leave and now it really was too late to turn back and change my mind. What had I done I thought? But I believed in my capabili- ties and knew exciting times lay ahead. Like everything that I have ever done I started to put 100% into preparing for my new future; a future into the unknown.
I had many of my friends that phoned me not believing that I was giving up on the uniform that I had represented so well over the years. Each and every one of them wished me well, and had full confidence in me catching my dreams. I had no choice now but to get on and do it.
CHAPTER 1A Life Changing Decision
“The hardest thing about the road not taken
is that you never know where it might have led.”
We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us.
I have always believed that everything happens for a reason and if it’s for you, it won’t pass you by. I remember sitting behind my desk as a Warrant Officer serv- ing in Deepcut Camp in Surrey. It was November 2004 and I was taking a break in between teaching my course. I was a Training Instructor teaching Senior Non- Commissioned Officers and Commissioned Officers how to be logisticians.
My Commanding Officer stuck his head around the door and said; ‘Can I have a word with you in my office please, Mr. Knights?’ This caused a stir with my fellow Instructors who were hoping that I had been caught doing something wrong. I knew I wasn’t in trouble though as the C.O. was smiling.
No sooner had I sat down he congratulated me, saying that I had been selected onto the long service list. The long service list is where Warrant Officers could extend their military service by another fifteen years; doing jobs usually the front line soldier would prefer not to do.
In reality this was an opportunity that most Warrant Officers would pray for. Another 15 years serving in the British Army, giving stability and security op-
posed to the vagaries of Civvie Street. Although I had originally applied for the long service list a few years previously whilst in Germany, things had changed, and my life was now very different to what it had been then. Although I was a serving soldier, behind the scenes I had just set up my own Security and Training
1
BULLETS TO BOARDROOM
company. I had already convinced myself that with a year left in the Army I would become an entrepreneur.
This was not a good predicament to be in. I was now left with a situation where I had to make a decision that would drastically change my family life and future.
All of a sudden I had been presented with options. What should have been simple had suddenly become complicated. Do I stay in the Army and accept the security and stability that another fifteen years would give me? Or do I follow my own advice that if you’re going to be a bear, be a grizzly bear.
Being a bear would mean to carry on serving in the Army and stick with all I had ever known; or I could turn my back on it and chase my own dreams. If I de- cided on the latter, would this be selfish or commendable of me? No matter what, if I said I was leaving there would be no turning back and the pressure was on me to make it work in Civvie Street; the land of the unknown. (Civvie Street is the name for life outside the military).
It’s a fact that anyone serving in Her Majesty’s forces who completes the 12 year point, are in a dilemma. After 12 years you are now pensionable and start believ- ing that you are too old to start a new career in the outside world.
I had always been Army mad, giving 100% to everything that I did, and as a reward I had been given all the jobs I had ever wanted. As a disillusioned young soldier who joined the Army to be an action man I found myself serving in the Royal Army Ordnance Corps (RAOC); a corps that was in the rear combat zone and at a very slow pace; far too slow for me. The RAOC, and later the Royal Lo- gistics Corps (RLC) had been good to me, giving me the opportunities that don’t exist in today’s modern army, and I felt loyal and extremely attached to the uni- form that I had worn and served so well for almost 23 years.
The hardened, worn soldier in me thought great, another 15 years in my com- fort zone, whilst the level headed side of me thought I should use this opportunity to turn my back on the Army and chase my new venture; my dreams. As you can see a big part of me was pulling towards making a fresh start in Civvie Street, be- cause if I didn’t do it now I would never do it. And yet I loved the army and it was all that I had ever known. At this point I remember feeling vulnerable, and needed constructive advice to assist me with my decision.
2
1. A LIFE CHANGING DECISION
My personal life would be very instrumental in me making the right decision. I was a Warrant Officer serving in the Army as a single parent and earning a decent wage. I had custody of both my sons from a fifteen year marriage to their mother.
My eldest son, Kevin, had already joined the Army himself and was posted to 16 Air Assault Brigade in Colchester, and seemed content in what he was doing. My youngest son, Jamie, had just finished his exams at school and was due to start job searching. I had brought both my boys up by myself for the past 5 years and I generally believed me leaving the Army wouldn’t hurt either of them in any way.
The fact was that if I stayed in the Army I could find myself going back to Af- ghanistan or Iraq, and I didn’t like the idea of having to leave Jamie with someone for six months. I had also recently started to date a lovely lady called Corina, who had her own three children. It was Corina I sought advice from. A woman that I had fallen in love with, but who obviously didn’t want to express her real feelings in helping me make my decision.
I spent all Christmas of 2004 trying to sort out what I should do.
I had left my Commanding Officer’s office giving him the impression that I was ecstatic by my selection onto the long service list. After all I had to keep my op- tions open, and as it stood I was starting to sway towards the comfort blanket of staying in my beloved Army. I needed help. Corina saying that she would stand by me no matter what, and Jamie telling me to get out of the army, didn’t fit in with my own mood swings of taking the gamble one minute or staying warm in the arms of the Army the next.
Christmas 2004 was spent bringing my two boys together with Corina’s three children for the first time in a group. This proved to be a great Christmas where Kevin could show off his prize present that I had bought him; a £600 1.4 second hand blue Ford Escort. Whilst Kevin entertained Jamie cruising the streets of Surrey in his ford Escort and Corina catered for all of our needs, I remember sitting watching television in my Army house thinking how good life was; and at that point I made my own mind up.
3
BULLETS TO BOARDROOM
I based my decision on what I had achieved in the army over twenty-three years, what I could offer the Army in the role of the long service list, my age and the fact that I had already dabbled in business and liked it.
When I say dabbled in business, I had enough work in Civvie Street to know I couldn’t any longer do both.
I was leaving the army.
Telling my boys was easy; Kevin was probably relieved that his old man wasn’t going to be hovering around his now new Army career, whilst Jamie was just glad that he wouldn’t have to leave his mates behind and start all over again some- where else.
I remember going back into camp on Thursday 06 January 2004 knowing that I had to tell my Commanding Officer that I did not want to accept my position on the long service list. This was going to be interesting, and I wonder if in the his- tory of the Army anyone had had the audacity to turn down such an opportunity.
I watched the Commanding Officer come in to work, put his day sack down in his office then go and make himself a cup of tea. On returning to his office I thought; now is my chance, I’m not punishing myself any more by delaying the obvi- ous. I knocked on his door and he invited me in, wishing me a Happy New Year and passing the time of day with me. He invited me to take a seat and I explained that I no longer wanted to accept the kind invitation to serve any longer in the
Army.
At this point it became strained where he tried to convince me to go away and
rethink. If not, the alternative would be that the Brigadier would want to inter- view me.
Firstly I didn’t need to rethink, I was happy and strong in my decision, and secondly I knew the Brigadier had better things to do with his working day than try and convince me to extend my service. The conversation then led toward my possible opportunity of applying for a commission and becoming an Officer. He started to sound desperate and was I really that valuable to the army that my Commanding Officer would put himself in this uncomfortable position of asking me to please go away and reconsider? We agreed that I would come back to see him after lunch, as if that was going to make any difference.
4
1. A LIFE CHANGING DECISION
During these few hours I knew I had to cement my decision with a watertight story just to save the agro of having to justify my decision once again.
I was teaching Officers how to be Quarter Masters (logisticians) and during one of the breaks I bumped into the Commanding Officer where we had an informal chat. I explained not only do I want to withdraw my extension but I also wanted six months gardening leave as I had already gained a contract working in Dubai with their Police Academy. This was obviously not true but something that I was working on that later did happen. He bought into this story and I also made it clear if I didn’t get the six months gardening leave I would lose the contract that would affect my Company and future.
The Commanding Officer now was pushing for my cause and in no time my extension had been offered to another soldier in Germany that I later met. By the way, he couldn’t thank me enough for having turned it down, thus giving him the opportunity!
I got my six months gardening leave and now it really was too late to turn back and change my mind. What had I done I thought? But I believed in my capabili- ties and knew exciting times lay ahead. Like everything that I have ever done I started to put 100% into preparing for my new future; a future into the unknown.
I had many of my friends that phoned me not believing that I was giving up on the uniform that I had represented so well over the years. Each and every one of them wished me well, and had full confidence in me catching my dreams. I had no choice now but to get on and do it.
