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Can people really change?

Catalyst

Catalyst

New Member
As an example....my flat mate comes from Wales. She has a large family. 2 of her 4 sisters have 3 kids each all by different fathers.....the son got a 13 year old girl pregnant. Now my flat mate is the only one to go to uni out of the 5 kids. She managed to escape her house and come up to Edinburgh from Wales. You would think that would be enough to get out of the trend. But i think despite having half a brain and the chance to get out of the cycle, she is going to end up pregnant and single, in a rubbish job in the middle of the valleys in Wales (not that Wales isnt a nice place.)

Can people escape the predicted life they are destined to have?
 
Yes, people can change. They say that the healthy ones leave.

If she was happy living with her family then she would still be there, so just the fact that she left shows that she's trying to change her life. And she's going to school! Please give her lots of encouragement. She's doing the best that she can to deal with her life.

And a pregnant 13-year-old girl? In the United States, that's statutory rape. The man (is this her brother?) would be facing prison time, child support for the next 18 years, and he would be a registered sex offender. Which would about guarantee that he never be hired for any job that pays above minimum wage, if he could even find a job.

Her family sounds like a COMPLETE train wreck. She's smart to get away from that situation.
 
The hting is she is going back home after uni is finished and shes already said she doesnt intend on using her degree. She also onyl dates men from home too which is a little wierd as she always has long distance relationships. Yeah the man was her brother. Him and hte girl are now living together raising hte kid.
She was only an example really.
 
What does she have against working? She gets to be independent, have her own place to live, buy herself nice things, get away from that chaotic family, and basically just do whatever she wants.

I'm pretty sure that she will change her mind about getting a job when she returns home. At least she will have the option to leave and support herself if things get too bad for her.

And at least a long-distance relationship will let her observe how how her boyfriend acts when he's not on his good behavior. Better a long-distance relationship than a live-in boyfriend who is pressuring her to quit school and marry him.

I'm rooting for her. I'm sure that she will have a happier life then anyone in that family of hers.
 
Yes I do believe that people can change or in the case that you mention escape her backgrown.

She has already changed her way by moving away. And the fact that she is not pregnant yet is also a positive step in another direction.

I think you should support her and start to believe in her.

One good example of a woman leaving her backgrown and making it big time, is Oprah. I thought I should mention one woman which we all know and maybe your friend can relate to her if she knew about Oprahs background.

Im sure that there are many other good examples of people moving away and making a new life for themselves inspite of the family and background.
 
Well she has quit uni and is going back home to live with a man that is unemployed, he has a 15 year old son, he is 28, and quit school at 12. She says she is going to go onto another course at a later date but i doubt it. Great. I have bills to pay alone now until July. Cow.
 
She is still paying rent. Well until her dad finds out she has quit uni as he pays her rent. I made sure i got a land line number for her incase her money stops coming.
I dont care really. Il have the flat to myself. The bills cant be that much as i tend to spend my evenings at my boyfriends house and cook there. Though now the flat is quiet we may stay here.
We are both on the lease until July. We could go through the hassel of contacting our elusive landlord and change the lease and find another person but there is no point. Il be happier on my own for now until i move in with my boyfriend.
She says she isnt going back to uni at all as she wants to join hte police.
 
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