• Welcome to BookAndReader!

    We LOVE books and hope you'll join us in sharing your favorites and experiences along with your love of reading with our community. Registering for our site is free and easy, just CLICK HERE!

    Already a member and forgot your password? Click here.

Diseases I Have Listened About in My Recent Travels Abroad

novella

Active Member
Despite my intention to sit around quietly swigging Bateman's in some besotted fenland pub, and against my will to remain an ignorant complacent American girl who's just out for a good time, I discussed the following diseases in some detail during my recent trip to the English Midlands.


Pavro virus and other viruses for dogs
Diabetes, lots of kinds
Cancer, a bunch of exciting types
Mixie, a rabbit disease
Arthritis of several parts
Lurgy
Faking lurgy to skive off
Flu
Faking flu to skive off
Gastroenteritis
Mad cow
Something else that makes your head hurt, then you die
The Collywobbles
Altzheimers
Floppy bottom
Various papulo-squamous skin afflictions
Ailments of the eye and part of the eye I did not know about
Feeling poorly
Having a headache in your neck
Stuff beer does to you
Sciatica
Stiff wing (on a human)
Rhinitis
Catarrh
Asthma
Why people who don't want asthma don't get it
Why you should still go to work if you have Plague
Faking plague to skive off



Well, I learned a lot. And had a great time doing it!
 
Well that's what happens when you hang around with soft southerners Novella. Try north of Yorkshire/Lancashire next time. People are a bit more hardy north of the Tees. A freind of mine had both his feet amputated and still ran a half marathon the next day. And my mam was back in the shipyard welding two days after I was born. It's all true.
 
Oh, I forgot Malingering. Apparently there's a national outbreak that's been going on since the 70s. Think I had a touch of it.
 
novella said:
Oh, I forgot Malingering. Apparently there's a national outbreak that's been going on since the 70s. Think I had a touch of it.

That's another southern disease. In the north they have unemployment.
 
Freya said:
Piss off. I live in the NORTH WEST. My news says NORTH WEST TONIGHT.

I was taught in school that mainline Britain coud be bi-sected by a line drawn between the River Tees and an uninhabited spot somewhere south of Barrow in Furness (the Tees - X line). Anything south of this line (eg Middlesbrough. Manchester, Liverpool etc) is southern. And therefore you can't be a real Northerner unless you live North of that line. So there!
 
Godammit I'd forgotten how ridiculously pig-headed you lot can be. I spent 2 years arguing this point, and quite frankly don't wish to argue it any longer. You were taught wrong in school. I live in the North West. Point proven, CASE CLOSED! :mad:
 
Freya said:
Godammit I'd forgotten how ridiculously pig-headed you lot can be. I spent 2 years arguing this point, and quite frankly don't wish to argue it any longer. You were taught wrong in school. I live in the North West. Point proven, CASE CLOSED! :mad:


When you say "you lot" do you mean "you northerners"?
 
:mad: You do realise, the very fact that you moved down there means all your opinions are rendered invalid? You've been infected. You probably talk with a southern accent and everything. You probably say Chav :mad:
 
Freya said:
:mad: You do realise, the very fact that you moved down there means all your opinions are rendered invalid? You've been infected. You probably talk with a southern accent and everything. You probably say Chav :mad:

I've only been down here for three years. I don't say barth instead of bath yet but I have been known to drink red wine in a tapas bar.
 
Well I live in Northern England, like Freya, so there! :p
Even the BBC regional news is called Look North, and the BBC never make any mistakes, so they should know. ;)
 
Halo said:
Well I live in Northern England, like Freya, so there! :p
Even the BBC regional news is called Look North, and the BBC never make any mistakes, so they should know. ;)

I say we begin a grand scheme to swap partners. Break off the southern US and southern Britain and put them together. Then northern Britain and US could combine.

Hmm....but who gets to be on the North side of the new formation??? :rolleyes:
 
Halo said:
Well I live in Northern England, like Freya, so there! :p
Even the BBC regional news is called Look North, and the BBC never make any mistakes, so they should know. ;)

Even the regional BBC studios are crammed full of southerners. You can't trust anything the BBC says. The mouthpiece of the establishment.
 
Back
Top