Do u Haiku?

[Occlith]

zippy : zen and the art of conversation

 

[Cody Craig]

I've never tried my hand at haiku before, the rules seem uncertain in the english language. Here is my first attempt though:

The wind blows the trees
boughs swaying rhythmically
nervous leaves falling

Am i on the right track?

Bye

Cody Craig

 

[Cody Craig]

A couple more i just threw together.

Look up in the sky
colourful, glistening mist
heavenly rainbow


Sun shining brightly
waves crashing onto the sand
castles washed away


Heavenly whispers
wings beating frantically
soaring, endlessly


Charcoal eyes glaring
carrot nose drooping downwards
melting, puddle, gone


Bye


Cody Craig

 

[Vespertilio91]

Normally in Haiku, they have to be 5-7-5, about nature, and about a moment of discovery or enlightenment. You seem to have done well on those aspects, but try branching out. Make a series or write about everyday things. This way your poetic talent isn't wasted on re-writing the same things over and over again.

 

[cabbagescribe]

Good evening, Lightning
You come as a messenger
Nature still untamed

 

[Vespertilio91]

I open my heart
To your solemn, distant kiss
And soon am destroyed.

Watch the little bird
Fly down from its perch again.
Isn't it magical?

Round orb of sparkling,
A disturbance in your home;
Flare out your bright wings.

Slumber my child,
Dream of an eternal song
Lulling you to sleep.

Wildflowers burst out
Of their confined distortion
To seek out the sun.

Walking along and
Smelling all the roses there
Is such a cliche.

Kiss of ignorance,
Take out your sorrows on me
And free my bleak soul.

 

[Vespertilio91]

I think we would wind up starving.

Yeah, but we'd be expressing ourselves through our writing. And isn't that what it is all about???