Okay, I found one already. This one was titled
'fences'
It was written whilst a friend was seriously ill in hospital, too far away for me to visit (she died not long after), and also at the time I met an online friend from Australia, whose visit to London was too short. enjoy...
23 April 2003 ~ Fences
Remember when you were little and you looked out onto a field thinking to yourself 'I wonder if anyone has travelled beyond the edge of this field and what adventures they had on the way?'?
The same days that you played in your garden pretending that three pieces of wood were a really cool den where you imagined running away to when things got bad in the 'house of grown-ups'. The place where you secretly stashed tinned food and bugs and made a sign saying 'no girlz allowed', yes, starting the interest of using a zed instead of an ess.
The garden was safe back in those days when you were small. It was the refuge that you knew no-one could touch you in. You knew that the bullies chasing you down the street would have to give up their pursuit if only you could make it past that fence. The place where the old ladies who you stole milk from every morning would have to suddenly become respective, prim, proper, people to speak to your mother instead of the snarling, flailing, cursing parasites that had erupted as you removed the milk bottle from their doorstep. The place where authoritive figures stood with a condescending glance with their shiny buttons and shiny shoes and their not so shiny uniforms as they lectured you on the dangers of setting fire to a junk yard - change of wind, field - stronger wind, train track - knowing it was you but not being able to prove it.
My garden.
My territory.
Mine.
But then you started growing up and the garden was seven steps of unwanted space. The field became the usual trek on the way back from your friends house, theresatraintrack, theresamilkbottle, theres a neglected bully on his old stomping ground - no adventures to be had. Not anymore. The whole town is too small when just four years ago it was a world of opportunity.
From then onwards you find that there is more to the world than the UK and more to the world than the world and so the world itself seems as tiny as the field did so long ago.
More adventures but just as small.
And then there are times like now when you can travel anywhere you wish to at a moments notice. Communicate with anyone anywhere in the world at any time of the day or night. Touch those closest to you when they are thousands of miles away.
Only it's times like these that the world is too big, the distance is too great, the communication devices are of no use to be able to reach out and touch and feel and hold those people that you really need to reach out and touch.
Feel.
Hold.
Mxx
