Hazel Grace
New Member
The Unlikely Story of Elias Zapple
Elias Zapple was not born in 1922, as some would have you believe. His date of birth is not really relevant anyway. What is relevant is that he arose out of a tulip that was growing in some old granny's garden in Camberwell. How he got to be in a tulip is not really clear, nor is it clear how he got out of the tulip, and years later wrote the smash hit musical, 'Love, be a Stranger', which was an international flop.
After that success, he went on to work as a 19th century Victorian chimney sweep, when he was inspired to write the acclaimed series of books entitled 'Duke & Michel'. It is believed the fumes from the chimneys did so much damage to Elias, that it was a miracle he ever ate a cupcake again.
Later, he travelled back in time to the present, and went on a series of trips to many foreign and distant lands. During these travels, Elias met and listened to many interesting people, choosing to ignore all of them. He did, however, learn a couple of things: i) the earth is flat; and ii) you should never eat a banana when it's not ripe.
Many questions are often asked by his adoring public. Are you human? How many chimpanzees can fit inside a fridge? What is that thing growing on the side of your head? To which Mr Zapple has always smiled, turned away and swam off into the sunset; having only once been bitten by an unfriendly shark.
Elias Zapple continues to work towards the unification of Korea, and writing children's stories that parents will spend huge sums of money on. He wishes you all to know that every penny made from the books will go straight into his bank account, which he will then spend on a lavish, new tent.
Here are the book from him:
Zapple Shop
'Blood, Blood Everywhere': Nicu: The Littlest Vampire, Book 3
A Christmas Carol.... Slimed
Cyril the Dragon: The Jellybean the Dragon Stories, Book 2
Nicu - The Littlest Vampire: In 'Fangless' (Volume 1)
Elias Zapple's Book of Slugs
Nicu - The Littlest Vampire: In 'Big Fangs': The Story of a Young Vampire, Book 2
A Christmas Carol... Slimed Kindle Edition
Nicu - The Littlest Vampire: In 'Blood, Blood Everywhere' (Nicu - The Littlest Vampire Series Book 3) Kindle Edition
Cyril the Dragon (The Jellybean the Dragon Stories Book 2) Kindle Edition
Elias Zapple's Book of Slugs Kindle Edition
Nicu - The Littlest Vampire: In 'Big Fangs' (Nicu - The Littlest Vampire Series Book 2) Kindle Edition
Jellybean the Dragon (The Wacky Adventures of Jellybean the Dragon & a Child Astronaut) (Ages 6-10)
Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch (Zany, Funny, Illustrated Poems For Ages 9+ Book 1)
Nicu - The Littlest Vampire in 'Fangless'
Duke & Michel: The King Tingaling Painting (Duke & Michel series Book 2) Kindle Edition
Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch (Zany, Funny, Illustrated Poems For Ages 9+ Book 1) Kindle Edition
Jellybean the Dragon (The Jellybean the Dragon Stories) (Volume 1) Paperback – February 8, 2014
Duke & Michel: The Mysterious Corridor (Duke & Michel series Book 1) Kindle Edition
Jellybean the Dragon (The Jellybean the Dragon Stories Book 1) Kindle Edition
Nicu - The Littlest Vampire: In 'Fangless' (Nicu - The Littlest Vampire Series Book 1) Kindle Edition