Genesis, a poem

[Acolyte]

Genesis
Ross Shingledecker
8/27/03

This is not a Grecian Urn
but a simple pot of clay
in muted earthen tones
an elementary thing
and yet
elemental

He is not an artisan
but a simple potter
with gentle callused hands
he makes the simple pots
ordinary but
profound

He draws the clay from sodden soil
brings it to his wheel
beneath his callused
ordinary hands
a simple pot takes shape
uniquely

He takes the molded simple pot
to the kiln that he has waiting
placing it inside
on the customary shelf
humbly he completes
the cycle

Air to feed the fire
Fire to harden the glaze
on the clay of Earth and Water
an ordinary process
for the simple potter’s pot
elementary
and yet
elemental

 

[Halo]

Poetry is not something I read very often, but I really liked that poem. Great opening lines- is this a reference to Ode to/on a Grecian Urn? (Can't remember the exact title.)

Liked the "elementary... yet elemental" repetition at the beginning and end. Also liked the comparison of ordinary and profound which runs successfully throughout the poem.

A simple structure, nothing too fancy, to echo the simple potter and his simple pot? Brilliant last verse, talking about how all the elements combine in the process of making the pot.

The only thing I wasn't so keen on was the beginning of verse four: "He takes the finished simple pot..." Is finished the right word? Yes, he has finished moulding the pot, but it's not yet finished.

Actually, I didn't like this poem, I loved it (and I don't often love poetry, believe me.) Great work, Acolyte.

 

[Acolyte]

Poetry is not something I read very often, but I really liked that poem. Great opening lines- is this a reference to Ode to/on a Grecian Urn? (Can't remember the exact title.)

Thanks, and yeah, that's an allusion to the Keats poem (and it's "on", I think). I"m not sure if that's too much an ostentatious reference, but it does reinforce the simplicity.

Liked the "elementary... yet elemental" repetition at the beginning and end. Also liked the comparison of ordinary and profound which runs successfully throughout the poem.

I must confess that the elemental/elementary combination wasn't an idea of mine--in Spanish, they are the same word, a fact Pablo Neruda used in his book of poetry, _Odas Elementales_ (which means both "Elemental Odes" and "Elementary Odes"), in which one section has odes to natural wonders and the beauty of the environment, but the second section has odes to things like socks and a small town and his work ethic. The duality of the word really struck me, and managed to find its way into the poem.

A simple structure, nothing too fancy, to echo the simple potter and his simple pot? Brilliant last verse, talking about how all the elements combine in the process of making the pot.

Again, that idea isn't mine either. I'm a shameless thief, and you all thought I was a great poet *grin*. A few years ago, my mother and sisters dragged me on a trip to Seagrove, NC, which if you havne't been there is a tourist spot with about 90 potters to every tourist, where you can't sneeze without hitting a pot or vase. I was, of course, unwilling, but in the cool History of Pottery museum it had a note about how some Gaullic cultures revered poetry because it combined all the four elements (which it listed as wood, earth, fire, and water). At that point, I thought potter-druids would make the good premise for a fantasy novel, but at some point the idea collided with the Pablo Neruda one and this poem was the result.

The only thing I wasn't so keen on was the beginning of verse four: "He takes the finished simple pot..." Is finished the right word? Yes, he has finished moulding the pot, but it's not yet finished.

You know, that's really a very good point--that's a vital detail that I've completely missed for a long time. *thinks* How about replacing the word "finished" with "molded"? And thanks a lot for pointing that out.

Actually, I didn't like this poem, I loved it (and I don't often love poetry, believe me.) Great work, Acolyte.

Well, thanks for the praise--and thank you for taking the time to comment.

 

[Halo]

I take it all back - you are a shameless plagiariser who should go and stand in the corner.

You know, that's really a very good point--that's a vital detail that I've completely missed for a long time. *thinks* How about replacing the word "finished" with "molded"?

I think your suggestion is a good one.

 

[Acolyte]

I take it all back - you are a shameless plagiariser who should go and stand in the corner.

"Art is Either Plagirism or Revolution"
--NYC marquee, 1992

I think your suggestion is a good one.

Thanks again for pointing out the error.

 

[Halo]

"Art is Either Plagirism or Revolution"
--NYC marquee, 1992

"If you must write prose/poems
The words you use should be your own
Don't plagiarise or take "on loan"
'Cause there's always someone, somewhere
With a big nose, who knows
And who trips you up and laughs
When you fall
Who'll trip you up and laugh
When you fall."
-- Morrissey, "Cemetry Gates", 1986.

 

[Acolyte]

But when has idea-theft been so poetically formed?

 

[Halo]

Oh, go on then, I'll let you off.