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Internet Lurrrve.

Martin

Martin

Active Member
Ever experienced it, in any shape or form?

I once, in a previous life, had very good contact with a slightly older, married woman who lived on the other side of the world. We mainly talked through PM on a forum I used to frequent, because, well, she was married, and I was in a relationship, so talking on MSN or through mail was too dangerous.

Living on the edge, eh?

The thing was, I actually fell for her. Still think of her a lot. I think she fell for me, too.

How about you guys? Ever had anything like this?

Cheers
 
She doesn't.

hey, it's not like I planned this. And I never acted on it.

And you didn't answer the question.

Cheers
 
I met my husband via the internet, there was a chat room I used to frequently go to & he'd turn up mainly to try & wind people up & insult them. I found it funny how his sarcasm mainly flew over the top of most people's heads. Admittedly, it was a Robbie Williams chatroom, so it's not all that difficult to outwit some of the people there lol.

I think the internet is an excellent way to meet people, you get to know them by personality first & therefore chat to people you may otherwise just assume weren't your type.
 
I've kind of had something like this. I joined a hobby-specific chatroom and encountered a guy through that. Our chat led to MSN-based flirting. I fell hard for him, and split up with my RL boyfriend because I believed that if I could fall for someone anonymous over the Net, then clearly he wasn't the guy for me.

I never met with the guy and the intense crush faded mostly. However, we still chat now and again and it can flare up again - despite the fact I'm engaged now.

I think it's the unknown factor. The anonymity allows you to create the perfect persona for the person you talk to. This is why I don't think relationships formed over the Net will work ultimately when you meet, because you create a too-perfect person. That's not saying I wouldn't have loved to meet this guy!
 
Sar: Great story. I won't ask what the hell you were doing on a Robbie Williams chatroom.

I agree with what you say, about getting to know their personality first, but I believe it's there where the danger lies - it's so very easy to embellish your good sides and 'forget to mention' your bad sides while chatting or whatever.

Mage: Sar met her husband online, so it can work, apparently, (and I commend Sar for it) but I agree that most chatbased relationships will end in tears.

Sanyuja: Yes, very happy.

Cheers
 
Not I. I don't think I've ever been in a public chat room and I just started getting into forums recently (when I started working at night). I've had limited interaction with strangers online otherwise. As much as you are all fabulous folks, I don't think I could ever get to know any of you that well over the internet as "real me" is vastly different from "forum me".
 
mehastings said:
Not I. I don't think I've ever been in a public chat room and I just started getting into forums recently (when I started working at night). I've had limited interaction with strangers online otherwise. As much as you are all fabulous folks, I don't think I could ever get to know any of you that well over the internet as "real me" is vastly different to "forum me".
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Same here and in real life I am a doormat
 
Martin said:
Sar: Great story. I won't ask what the hell you were doing on a Robbie Williams chatroom.
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I would love to say I was only there to also insult the Robbie Williams fans, but in all honesty it's because I had a HUGE crush on his bass player (not the woman he has now) *hides face in shame*

I agree that people can very easily choose exactly which persona they want to convey online, but if you chat longterm to someone you really can get a good idea of how their mind works & what some of their beliefs & morals are.

After I met my hubby, one of my friends (who was veery lonely & desperate) started constantly hanging around in chatrooms in the hope she could meet someone, I think it's a case of if you are specificaly looking for it to happen, it won't. Or at least, those will be the times when you have an unrealistic fantasy of what the person is like. My hubby, I got chatting to as a friend & didn't intend it to ever be anything more, so it was based on a good friendship first.
 
Cool, thanks for sharing, Sar. Excellent story.

I do agree that, after a while, you get a better view of the person you're talking to. In the beginning it will be fun and games, taunting eachother, making jokes, trying to impress eachother and whatnot. But after a while, when you get to know eachother slightly better, that's when the real fun starts.

And there's always the fact that's it's infinitely easier to open up to someone on the other end of the world, or on the other end of a glassfibre cable.

Cheers
 
Omigod, I have crushes on people all over the world. We have worked out lots of caring friendships. Choose websites based on your interests and you can build a community.
 
I fell for someone online . . . and had my heart and ability to trust ripped to shreads. I'm not over him or what he did to me though I suppose I should be. It's not worth getting into the details.

but if you chat longterm to someone you really can get a good idea of how their mind works
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Some people can lie very well for a very long time, like 3 or 4 years.
 
Totally Renee. I wouldn't trust anyone. Which is not to say I don't enjoy everyone's company here. I just don't believe what anyone on the Internet posts is necessarily representative of what they are in RL.

My own sister posed as a guy (very active poster, too) for more than four years on a bunch of flame forums. She did it because she thought a girl wouldn't get respect, so she developed a whole fake persona. She was really well known as a guy and had a bunch of women PMing her all the time to flirt, which was bizarre. She finally revealed that she was a girl and they didn't believe her! haha. The guys on the forums were particularly miffed because they felt they'd been had. Now one of them apparently wants to date her, but he might just as easily want to meet her in person to kill her.

I personally could not sustain such an involved lie, but I've seen it happen up close.

The funny thing is, she trusts that the people she posts and PMs to are representing themselves honestly. I think that in itself is very strange.
 
Renee said:
Some people can lie very well for a very long time, like 3 or 4 years.
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That is very true & the internet can be the perfect place for dishonest people to absolutely flourish.

I really am sorry you had someone hurt you so badly, because oncethat's been done it does take one hell of a lot to trust again *hugs*
 
I am fairly new to the internet but I have had several friends and even my Dad start relationships online and I always found it hard to imagine how these progressed. I guess I like the whole sensory range while flirting, the small gestures, the little sniffs when you are close, the sound of the persons voice, the little small electric sneeked touch. I don't shop online for the same reasons, I like to see, touch and smell everything before I buy it.

I can't really imagine a relationship starting with out all of these things and as many have writen in this and other threads, I don't think enough of someone's personality comes across in what they write. I know a lot of what people have said they like about me, certain faces & sounds I make, very relaxing casual manner, I always smell good and I have quiet, happy voice are things that don't come across online. And while I think I'm very good at expressing myself in person, I often have a hard time writing what I want to say and getting the full meaning across without a gesture.
 
Love comes in all shapes and sizes, and just because one has been burned through internet love doesn't mean all internet-generated relationships are doomed. The same kind of person who would string someone along on the internet is the same kind of person who would do it in person. It is just easier to lie in this form of communication and revealing your true personality in the form of communication is more difficult. Either way, it does happen. I think it really depends on the individual. WYSIWYG with me. I think I am about the same on the internet as I am in person because I am just me, not trying to impress or "hook-up". Maybe I am a little biased, my husband and I had a long distance relationship for a few years before I moved closer. We wrote all the time and spoke on the phone only once every few weeks. So a lot of our courtship was through the written word, just like it is on the internet.
 
I've never done the 'online thing', and I don't think I'd ever trust anyone enough for that to change. I made friends with a woman in Sydney once, who sent me video tapes and magazine articles on a TV show we both liked. It was quite a stretch of trust for me to even give her my home address, despite the fact that it was a post box - I originally had her send stuff to my friend's company address.

Having said that, I now need 2 hands to count the number of friends I've had who have had online relationships. Two of them ended in marriage! I think it can happen, but as was said earlier - you can't just go looking for love.
 
Having said that, I now need 2 hands to count the number of friends I've had who have had online relationships. Two of them ended in marriage! I think it can happen, but as was said earlier - you can't just go looking for love.
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It does seem to be happening more and more with my friends these days. I should also add that my Dad's new wife seems to be rather perfect for him.

I agree that love usually sneeks up on people when they leats expect it.
 
Ronny said:
I agree that love usually sneeks up on people when they leats expect it.
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i agree with this ronny. and i think that having a broken heart can happen in the blink of an eye, even when both involved never intended it; no one is to blame, it is just how things are. but hopefully you will always remember that person and what they meant to you. i do.
 
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