neil mcfarlane
New Member
Here's one I wrote. Hope your child likes it! 
Jeanie and the Astrofish (A Bedtime Story)
What a day you had today. You must be very tired after all that traveling in the desert and all that …
What? You can’t remember any of it? I suppose it must be that knock on your head that made you forget. You're always getting knocks on the head, aren't you?
Let me tell you all about it.
We were going to have bananas and custard, yum yum! But unfortunately we found that we didn’t have any bananas.
So you said, “Don’t worry, I know where to get bananas.”
And off you went to the woods.
When you got to the woods, you went to the stream and took off your shoes and socks. Then you went paddling in the water and started lifting up rocks to see if there were bananas underneath. You found a fish; you found a frog; you even found a hippopotamus. But you didn’t find a banana.
“That’s strange,” you thought. “I’m sure bananas come from under rocks in streams.”
(Sometimes you can be a little bit silly, but that’s OK – we still love you.)
You kept on searching, and after a while you found a very smooth, round, black, rubbery-looking rock. You pulled it but it was difficult to lift. So you pulled and pulled and pulled until ‘SHLOP!’ up it came. You looked underneath, but there were no bananas – just a big drain hole. Suddenly all the water from the stream started disappearing down the drain hole, then it made a ‘SSSHLUURP’ sound and all the water was gone. You’d pulled out the plug!
The stream was now completely dry, and all the fish and the frogs and the hippopotamuses were lying on the dried-up stream bed unable to swim and looking very uncomfortable.
“Look what you’ve done!” said the fish.
“We’re very uncomfortable!” said the frogs.
“Give us back our water!” said the hippopotamuses.
“We need water to breathe!” said the fish.
“Actually, we don’t need water to breathe,” said the frogs, “because we’re amphibians.”
“And we don’t need water to breathe either,” said the hippopotamuses, “because we’re mammals.”
“We don’t need water to breathe either,” said the fish, “because we’re not fish. We’re hedgehogs.”
And all the fish took off their fish masks and true enough, they were hedgehogs!
“We just fancied a swim,” explained one hedgehog.
“What are we going to do now?” said another hedgehog.
“Let’s have a disco,” said a frog.
“Good idea,” said a hippopotamus.
So someone put on a disco song and all the hedgehogs and the frogs and the hippopotamuses started dancing together and having lots of fun. It looked like so much fun, you decided to join in.
Some of the hedgehogs were drinking lemonade and a few of the frogs were eating crisps, but no bananas were served, so after a while you stopped dancing and wandered away to look for bananas.
“I wonder where all the fish went to?” you wondered as you wandered.
After a long time wondering and a long way wandering, you began to feel very hot. You looked up at the sky and the sun was burning brightly. You looked around and there were no trees and no grass, just sand in every direction as far as the eye could see.
You’d wandered into the desert!
After a while you started to feel really thirsty.
You thought about all that water that drained out of the stream’s plug hole. You wished you could have some of that water now.
“Sand sand all around and not a drop to drink,” you thought.
After a while you saw lots of spacemen riding on camels.
“Hello!” you shouted. “Hellooooooooooooooooooooooo! Over here!”
You ran over to the spacemen, but when you got closer, you saw that they weren’t spacemen at all. They were fish in spacesuits, and the spacesuits weren’t full of air, they were full of water!
“Blinkin’ Nora!” you said. “What a strange sight! Fish dressed in spacesuits riding camels in the desert!”
“We are exploring, searching for a new home,” said the fish captain. “A bad person pulled out the plug from our stream and let all our water down the plug hole, so now we are homeless and we wander over the desert looking for a new stream, wondering if we will ever find a new home. And so we wander and we wonder, wandering and wondering, wandering wonderingly.”
“That wasn’t a bad person,” you started to say. “That was …” Then you stopped.
“Yes?” asked the fish captain. “What were you going to say? Do you know who drained our stream?”
“Oh, er, no,” you said, because you felt ashamed that you’d done it and you didn’t want them to know.
“What brings you to this desert, stranger?” asked the fish captain.
“I’m looking for a banana,” you said. “Do you know where I can find a banana?”
“We know nothing of bananas,” said the fish captain. “We seek a new home.”
So you changed the subject. “Excuse me, I’m very thirsty. Do you have any water for me to drink?”
“I can give you a little,” said the fish captain, and he opened a tap on his spacesuit and some water came out.
You drank the water, though it tasted a little fishy, and then you thanked the fish and said goodbye.
“Good luck on your quest, child,” said the fish captain, and they disappeared across the sand dunes.
Those fish were really nice to you and you felt really bad for draining their stream.
You walked on through the desert and the sun shone down, hot hot hot. Eventually you came to a small clump of trees, and in the trees there were some rocks, and in the rocks there was a cave, and in the cave there was a lamp. It was a dirty-looking lamp so you gave it a rub with your sleeve.
Suddenly a puff of smoke came out of the lamp and a woman was standing there.
“Hi sweetheart,” said the woman. “My name’s Jeanie, and you just freed me from this magic lamp. So to show my gratitude, I’m going to grant you three wishes. Anything your heart desires, just wish for it.”
You thought about it for a moment and then made your wish.
“I wish I had a banana,” you said.
“Your wish is my command,” said Jeanie, and she waved her hand.
You looked around, but you couldn’t see a banana.
“What happened to my wish?” you asked.
“It came true,” said Jeanie.
“But I wished I had a banana,” you replied. “But I haven’t got one. Look.” And you showed her your empty hands.
“You haven’t got one now, but youhadone,” said Jeanie. “Don’t you remember? You had a banana last Tuesday.”
You thought about it and suddenly you did remember that you’d had a banana last Tuesday.
“‘I wish Ihada banana.’ That’s what you said,” said Jeanie. “You should be more careful what you wish for next time. Now you have two wishes left.”
“All right,” you said. “My second wish is that I wish Ihavea banana, right now, in my hand, here, now, right this minute.”
“Your wish is my command,” said Jeanie, and she waved her hand.
You looked at your hand, but you still couldn’t see a banana.
“What happened to my wish?” you asked.
“It came true,” said Jeanie.
“So where’s my banana?” you asked.
“In your hand. Look.” And Jeanie gave you a microscope and you looked through that microscope and you could see there was a tiny weenie incy wincy banana on your hand, but it was so small that without the microscope it just looked like a speck of dust.
“But that’s too small,” you said.
“Well, you wished for a banana, but you didn’t say what size banana,” said Jeanie. “You should be more careful what you wish for. You’ve got one wish left.”
This time you were going to be very careful so you would definitely get that banana. But instead of thinking about bananas, you started thinking about those fish. They’d been so nice to you and had even given you water when you let all their water drain down the plug hole. You felt really bad.
“I wonder what will happen to them,” you wondered. “I wonder if they will ever find a new home. I wonder if they’ll have to wander over the desert forever because of me.” And then you gave a big sigh. “Oh, I wish I hadn’t pulled out their plug hole.”
“Your wish is my command,” said Jeanie, and she waved her hand.
“Eh?” you said. “No. Wait a minute. That wasn’t my wish. That was just me wondering.”
“Too late,” said Jeanie, and she disappeared in a puff of smoke.
“Noooooooo!” you said, and you rubbed the lamp again and again but nothing happened.
After a while you started tapping on the side of the lamp with a pebble, and Jeanie stuck her head out and said, “Oi! Stop making that noise or I’ll call the police.”
So you put down the lamp and wandered off into the desert again feeling very sad.
After a while you met the fish riding their camels again. You waved to them and said, “Stop a minute. I’ve got something to tell you.”
“What is it?” said the fish captain.
“I’m really sorry, but I know honesty is the best policy and I feel really bad for what I did so I think the best thing I can do is tell you the truth and I’m sure if I do you will forgive me and then everything will be all right.”
“Go on,” said the fish captain. “We’re listening.”
“It was me who pulled out your plug and let all your water drain down the plug hole,” you said. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean it. I was just … ”
Suddenly the fish all looked really angry.
“Infidel!” shouted one.
“Scoundrel!” shouted another.
“Reprobate!” shouted another.
“Rapscallion!” shouted another.
“Attack!” shouted the fish captain.
And all the fish drew their swords and charged towards you.
You turned around and ran as fast as you could, all the way across the desert and back to the woods, the fish on their camels chasing close behind you all the way. You ran through the woods until you came to the stream, and then you stopped, and so did the fish.
“It’s our stream,” said the fish captain. “And look! It’s got its water back!”
Those fish were so happy.
“We don’t know how you did it,” said the fish captain, “but thank you very much.”
“Yes, thank you thank you thank you,” said all the fish, and they jumped into the water and swam around happily. All the frogs and the hippopotamuses and hedgehogs were there too, and even the camels joined in, everyone swimming around in the lovely cool water.
“Let’s celebrate,” said a hedgehog.
“Let’s have a party,” said a hippopotamus.
“Let’s have a disco!” said a frog.
“Good idea,” said the fish captain.
So someone put on a disco song and all the hedgehogs and the frogs and the hippopotamuses and the fish and the camels, and you too, started dancing together and having lots of fun.
After a while some waiters started serving lemonade. Then they started serving crisps. Then they started serving bananas.
“Bananas! Hooray!” you shouted. And you picked up a banana and said goodbye to everyone and ran towards home.
But just before you got home, you thought to yourself, “Why did I only take one banana? I don’t think one banana is enough. I should go back and get some more.”
So you turned around to go back, but just then you heard a ‘Moooo’ from the trees above. You looked up, and suddenly a whole bunch of bananas fell on your head and knocked you out. You woke up a few moments later and saw bananas on the ground in front of you.
“Oh, look! Bananas!” you said, and you picked them up and brought them home and we had bananas and custard and they were the best bananas ever.
I suppose you can’t remember anything about your adventure today, can you? It must be because you got hit on the head by those bananas and lost your memory.
Still, what an amazing adventure it was – pulling the plug out of the stream, getting lost in the desert with those spacemen fish and meeting Jeanie of the lamp and getting three wishes.
You really did a good thing when you helped those fish get their water back, even though you didn’t really mean it. You felt sorry for them and you wanted to make things right. That’s the important thing.
Well done!
Three cheers for you!
Hip hip …
Jeanie and the Astrofish (A Bedtime Story)
What a day you had today. You must be very tired after all that traveling in the desert and all that …
What? You can’t remember any of it? I suppose it must be that knock on your head that made you forget. You're always getting knocks on the head, aren't you?
Let me tell you all about it.
We were going to have bananas and custard, yum yum! But unfortunately we found that we didn’t have any bananas.
So you said, “Don’t worry, I know where to get bananas.”
And off you went to the woods.
When you got to the woods, you went to the stream and took off your shoes and socks. Then you went paddling in the water and started lifting up rocks to see if there were bananas underneath. You found a fish; you found a frog; you even found a hippopotamus. But you didn’t find a banana.
“That’s strange,” you thought. “I’m sure bananas come from under rocks in streams.”
(Sometimes you can be a little bit silly, but that’s OK – we still love you.)
You kept on searching, and after a while you found a very smooth, round, black, rubbery-looking rock. You pulled it but it was difficult to lift. So you pulled and pulled and pulled until ‘SHLOP!’ up it came. You looked underneath, but there were no bananas – just a big drain hole. Suddenly all the water from the stream started disappearing down the drain hole, then it made a ‘SSSHLUURP’ sound and all the water was gone. You’d pulled out the plug!
The stream was now completely dry, and all the fish and the frogs and the hippopotamuses were lying on the dried-up stream bed unable to swim and looking very uncomfortable.
“Look what you’ve done!” said the fish.
“We’re very uncomfortable!” said the frogs.
“Give us back our water!” said the hippopotamuses.
“We need water to breathe!” said the fish.
“Actually, we don’t need water to breathe,” said the frogs, “because we’re amphibians.”
“And we don’t need water to breathe either,” said the hippopotamuses, “because we’re mammals.”
“We don’t need water to breathe either,” said the fish, “because we’re not fish. We’re hedgehogs.”
And all the fish took off their fish masks and true enough, they were hedgehogs!
“We just fancied a swim,” explained one hedgehog.
“What are we going to do now?” said another hedgehog.
“Let’s have a disco,” said a frog.
“Good idea,” said a hippopotamus.
So someone put on a disco song and all the hedgehogs and the frogs and the hippopotamuses started dancing together and having lots of fun. It looked like so much fun, you decided to join in.
Some of the hedgehogs were drinking lemonade and a few of the frogs were eating crisps, but no bananas were served, so after a while you stopped dancing and wandered away to look for bananas.
“I wonder where all the fish went to?” you wondered as you wandered.
After a long time wondering and a long way wandering, you began to feel very hot. You looked up at the sky and the sun was burning brightly. You looked around and there were no trees and no grass, just sand in every direction as far as the eye could see.
You’d wandered into the desert!
After a while you started to feel really thirsty.
You thought about all that water that drained out of the stream’s plug hole. You wished you could have some of that water now.
“Sand sand all around and not a drop to drink,” you thought.
After a while you saw lots of spacemen riding on camels.
“Hello!” you shouted. “Hellooooooooooooooooooooooo! Over here!”
You ran over to the spacemen, but when you got closer, you saw that they weren’t spacemen at all. They were fish in spacesuits, and the spacesuits weren’t full of air, they were full of water!
“Blinkin’ Nora!” you said. “What a strange sight! Fish dressed in spacesuits riding camels in the desert!”
“We are exploring, searching for a new home,” said the fish captain. “A bad person pulled out the plug from our stream and let all our water down the plug hole, so now we are homeless and we wander over the desert looking for a new stream, wondering if we will ever find a new home. And so we wander and we wonder, wandering and wondering, wandering wonderingly.”
“That wasn’t a bad person,” you started to say. “That was …” Then you stopped.
“Yes?” asked the fish captain. “What were you going to say? Do you know who drained our stream?”
“Oh, er, no,” you said, because you felt ashamed that you’d done it and you didn’t want them to know.
“What brings you to this desert, stranger?” asked the fish captain.
“I’m looking for a banana,” you said. “Do you know where I can find a banana?”
“We know nothing of bananas,” said the fish captain. “We seek a new home.”
So you changed the subject. “Excuse me, I’m very thirsty. Do you have any water for me to drink?”
“I can give you a little,” said the fish captain, and he opened a tap on his spacesuit and some water came out.
You drank the water, though it tasted a little fishy, and then you thanked the fish and said goodbye.
“Good luck on your quest, child,” said the fish captain, and they disappeared across the sand dunes.
Those fish were really nice to you and you felt really bad for draining their stream.
You walked on through the desert and the sun shone down, hot hot hot. Eventually you came to a small clump of trees, and in the trees there were some rocks, and in the rocks there was a cave, and in the cave there was a lamp. It was a dirty-looking lamp so you gave it a rub with your sleeve.
Suddenly a puff of smoke came out of the lamp and a woman was standing there.
“Hi sweetheart,” said the woman. “My name’s Jeanie, and you just freed me from this magic lamp. So to show my gratitude, I’m going to grant you three wishes. Anything your heart desires, just wish for it.”
You thought about it for a moment and then made your wish.
“I wish I had a banana,” you said.
“Your wish is my command,” said Jeanie, and she waved her hand.
You looked around, but you couldn’t see a banana.
“What happened to my wish?” you asked.
“It came true,” said Jeanie.
“But I wished I had a banana,” you replied. “But I haven’t got one. Look.” And you showed her your empty hands.
“You haven’t got one now, but youhadone,” said Jeanie. “Don’t you remember? You had a banana last Tuesday.”
You thought about it and suddenly you did remember that you’d had a banana last Tuesday.
“‘I wish Ihada banana.’ That’s what you said,” said Jeanie. “You should be more careful what you wish for next time. Now you have two wishes left.”
“All right,” you said. “My second wish is that I wish Ihavea banana, right now, in my hand, here, now, right this minute.”
“Your wish is my command,” said Jeanie, and she waved her hand.
You looked at your hand, but you still couldn’t see a banana.
“What happened to my wish?” you asked.
“It came true,” said Jeanie.
“So where’s my banana?” you asked.
“In your hand. Look.” And Jeanie gave you a microscope and you looked through that microscope and you could see there was a tiny weenie incy wincy banana on your hand, but it was so small that without the microscope it just looked like a speck of dust.
“But that’s too small,” you said.
“Well, you wished for a banana, but you didn’t say what size banana,” said Jeanie. “You should be more careful what you wish for. You’ve got one wish left.”
This time you were going to be very careful so you would definitely get that banana. But instead of thinking about bananas, you started thinking about those fish. They’d been so nice to you and had even given you water when you let all their water drain down the plug hole. You felt really bad.
“I wonder what will happen to them,” you wondered. “I wonder if they will ever find a new home. I wonder if they’ll have to wander over the desert forever because of me.” And then you gave a big sigh. “Oh, I wish I hadn’t pulled out their plug hole.”
“Your wish is my command,” said Jeanie, and she waved her hand.
“Eh?” you said. “No. Wait a minute. That wasn’t my wish. That was just me wondering.”
“Too late,” said Jeanie, and she disappeared in a puff of smoke.
“Noooooooo!” you said, and you rubbed the lamp again and again but nothing happened.
After a while you started tapping on the side of the lamp with a pebble, and Jeanie stuck her head out and said, “Oi! Stop making that noise or I’ll call the police.”
So you put down the lamp and wandered off into the desert again feeling very sad.
After a while you met the fish riding their camels again. You waved to them and said, “Stop a minute. I’ve got something to tell you.”
“What is it?” said the fish captain.
“I’m really sorry, but I know honesty is the best policy and I feel really bad for what I did so I think the best thing I can do is tell you the truth and I’m sure if I do you will forgive me and then everything will be all right.”
“Go on,” said the fish captain. “We’re listening.”
“It was me who pulled out your plug and let all your water drain down the plug hole,” you said. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean it. I was just … ”
Suddenly the fish all looked really angry.
“Infidel!” shouted one.
“Scoundrel!” shouted another.
“Reprobate!” shouted another.
“Rapscallion!” shouted another.
“Attack!” shouted the fish captain.
And all the fish drew their swords and charged towards you.
You turned around and ran as fast as you could, all the way across the desert and back to the woods, the fish on their camels chasing close behind you all the way. You ran through the woods until you came to the stream, and then you stopped, and so did the fish.
“It’s our stream,” said the fish captain. “And look! It’s got its water back!”
Those fish were so happy.
“We don’t know how you did it,” said the fish captain, “but thank you very much.”
“Yes, thank you thank you thank you,” said all the fish, and they jumped into the water and swam around happily. All the frogs and the hippopotamuses and hedgehogs were there too, and even the camels joined in, everyone swimming around in the lovely cool water.
“Let’s celebrate,” said a hedgehog.
“Let’s have a party,” said a hippopotamus.
“Let’s have a disco!” said a frog.
“Good idea,” said the fish captain.
So someone put on a disco song and all the hedgehogs and the frogs and the hippopotamuses and the fish and the camels, and you too, started dancing together and having lots of fun.
After a while some waiters started serving lemonade. Then they started serving crisps. Then they started serving bananas.
“Bananas! Hooray!” you shouted. And you picked up a banana and said goodbye to everyone and ran towards home.
But just before you got home, you thought to yourself, “Why did I only take one banana? I don’t think one banana is enough. I should go back and get some more.”
So you turned around to go back, but just then you heard a ‘Moooo’ from the trees above. You looked up, and suddenly a whole bunch of bananas fell on your head and knocked you out. You woke up a few moments later and saw bananas on the ground in front of you.
“Oh, look! Bananas!” you said, and you picked them up and brought them home and we had bananas and custard and they were the best bananas ever.
I suppose you can’t remember anything about your adventure today, can you? It must be because you got hit on the head by those bananas and lost your memory.
Still, what an amazing adventure it was – pulling the plug out of the stream, getting lost in the desert with those spacemen fish and meeting Jeanie of the lamp and getting three wishes.
You really did a good thing when you helped those fish get their water back, even though you didn’t really mean it. You felt sorry for them and you wanted to make things right. That’s the important thing.
Well done!
Three cheers for you!
Hip hip …
