Leave Me

[Macula]

Hi guys,

Just got this joke (forwarded by my friend.)

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India ...

1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

2. This is from Oracle Bangalore:
From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

6. An incident of a leave letter
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

 

[Poppy1]

On a similar vein Macula:-

Qantas Maintenance Complaints

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a 'gripe sheet', which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems. document their repairs on the form and then pilots review the gripe sheet before the next flight.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. Never let it be said that the ground crews lack a sense of humour.

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S:Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P:Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S:Auto-land not installed in this aircraft.

P:Something loose in cockpit.
S:Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S:Live bugs on back-order.

P:Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S:Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P:Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S:Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to a more believable level.

P:Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S:That's what they are for.

P:IFF inoperative.
S:IFF always inoperative on 'off' mode.

P:Suspected crack in windscreen.
S:Suspect you're right.

P:Number 3 engine missing.
S:Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P:Aircraft handles funny.
S:Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P:Target radar hums.
P:Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P:Mouse in cockpit.
S:Cat installed.

And the best one for last...
P:Noise coming from the instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S:Took hammer away from midget.