Poems about a Guy

[wickychick1991]

This first poem I wrote, I wrote in Geometry one day. I couldn't stop thinking about this guy and well.....

Why can't I just do it?
Why can't I just tell him?
He needs to know
I need him to know
I miss talking to him
I want us to be friends again
It kills me when I see him
Talking with friends
Because we used to do that
I hate how I'm not brave enough
To tell him how I feel
I want to just forget it
But I can't
It's too hard
Believe me, I've tried
I've tried to ignore him
But that just made it worse
I need to just forgive him
But he really hurt me
I can't just let him off the hook
Or has 3 weeks of silence been enough?
But does he forgive me
For treating him like this?
I've been so cruel
But so has he
What should I do?
I know, I know
I need to talk to him
But I don't want to get hurt again
I guess I need to take a chance
Nothing to lose, right?
Oh, why can't I just do it?

Yea...and then a few days later, after I talked to him, I wrote another poem...

I finally did it
I finally told him
How he made me feel
And also how he hurt me
I wrote it all down
And gave him the note
But now I'm afraid
To see how he reacts
What will he say?
Will he want to be friends?
Or just want to forget me?
I hope that he knows
That I never hated him
I was just angry and upset
I hope he explains
What happend that weekend
And why he never talked to me
I want him to know
That I forgive him
A weight has been lifte
Off of my shoulders
Because I know
Even if we never talk again
I finally did it

These poems are so true and so emotional for me, so please be careful in your criticism. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!

 

[Flor]

Oh wicky bless your heart. You're at least interacting with the male of the species, and quite bravely by making your feelings known. The thing about poetry that you want to remember is that poets take emotions that we all share and place those emotions, even sneak those emotions, into words that describe other things. Do you enjoy reading poetry? Look through an anthology of love poems for starters, to see how best to capture the emotion with unique and surprising words and technique. But don't read poetry during Geometry class! Geometry itself is fascinating and will take you far, far! Boys are wonderful but they are only a slice of life, not the whole banquet.


P.S. What do you like to read? I see you're reading nothing at the moment! Yikes!

 

[ValkyrieRaven88]

You're very young, even younger than I am, and I'm happy that you are writing. I will repeat what Flor said. Your poetry is too straight-forward and you could do with some metaphors. Like, instead of saying, "I want to talk to him again," it would be much more effective (and more likely to grab the reader's sympathy) if you said something more like, "I want him more than a distant memory; I want to hear his voice."

Okay, so that was a bad example on my part, but I'm not in a poetic mood right now.

You're young, and you do need to improve on your style, but you have a long time to work on it. The most important things you can do to help yourself are:

1) As Flor said, you need to study other poets' work. Once you find a style that makes you say, "That's how I want to write," study that more than all the rest. You would do well to dabble in everything so you get the experience you need.

2) Don't stop writing!! I don't remember who said it, but someone a lot more intelligent than I am once said, "The woods would be quite silent if only the best birds sang." Write as much as you can so you can grow as a poet.

3) Don't be afraid to share your poems and accept criticism. I typically use Fictionpress on the internet to post my work, although I haven't been on in ages, and then, of course, there is this forum. The hardest thing I had to do as a writer was to hear more experienced people tell me that my work had more holes in it than there were stars in the sky, but I learned that most of them were trying to help me be better. Now I don't get offended when someone gives me bad (constructive) criticism.

I hope to see you post again.