Salvaged Soul

[Vespertilio91]

This is the latest in my poetic writings. Please take time to read it (won't take long) and review. I need to know how I write and suggestions for change would be a nice suprise.

Salvaged Soul

Remnant of the curse
Trapped inside the tomb
When rays caress souls.
Strike at nightmare's hour.

Corsair of the blood,
Feast in moonshadow
Bound by reborn greed-
Drink the wine of life.

Frequent of the night,
Etiolated.
Disappear to sleep-
Thy coffin awaits.

 

[Gee Zee]

I know nothing about poetry and after reading that I'm still confused.
It's not really visual; it doesn't paint a deep enough picture for me, it doesn't fill my senses. Sorry, I really just don't know.

 

[stigmaticman]

well that's quality poetry

I like the part about the "hour" in which it happened

I felt a thrill
rating: 9/ 10

 

[Vespertilio91]

In this poem, all I am trying to do is convey feelings, not too many descriptions. I understand your confusion; I didn't get poetry until I started writing it, and sometimes, I still don't get it. Don't worry, if you try it, you will get better at understanding, GZ.

Thanks for the great review, Stig. I'm glad you liked it!

 

[Gee Zee]

I understand your confusion; I didn't get poetry until I started writing it, and sometimes, I still don't get it. Don't worry, if you try it, you will get better at understanding, GZ.

You make a good point.
I do dabble, but I get confused with layout. I'm glad I did not offend you with my ignorence

 

[sirmyk]

This is great vampyre poetry. More... more...

 

[Vespertilio91]

More on its way...It's still in my head, though. ^^ I'm glad some people noticed that it was vampiric! *claps hands*

 

[mpop]

I read poetry once in a while, but your poetry does nothing to me.
sorry.

 

[Vespertilio91]

No problem. Poetry doesn't affect everyone. And never in the same way, either.