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Short not sweet by Mugsy Russo

Mugsy Russo

Mugsy Russo

New Member
Check out the latest work from Mugsy Russo "Short not sweet"

Available exclusively on the amazon kindle market.
Free until Friday...

Amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00AXPS08G
 
Mugsy Russo said:
Check out the latest work from Mugsy Russo "Short not sweet"

Available exclusively on the amazon kindle market.
Free until Friday...

Amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00AXPS08G
Click to expand...

that is a mobile link .. perhaps you could post the full link which is allowed in this thread
 
FIRST:
A Ridiculous Woman’s Mystifying Soiree: (sp)

A journey of sorts into the loneliness and depression of a young woman dealing with a break up, job loss and many other trying issues.
She drags herself out of depression just long enough to make her way to soiree (sp) of (grammar) which she isn't quite sure she should be going to.

SECOND:
The man whom was about nothing:

A man's obsession with a woman pushes her further and further away.
He becomes suspicious of her intentions and of her every action.
He knows she has contracted the (?) disease, and sadly is unable to find a cure.
Are his suspicions correct or has he lost his ever fragile mind.
Click to expand...

Did you write the blurb 'cos it has a few problems which doesn't bode well for your book. You need to proof EVERYTHING very carefully. This is your readers first contact with your writing. If it has errors it won't invite people to download your book.
 
Hey Meadow, Thanks for the constructive Criticism...
You are right, I wrote that before I had the book edited and never thoroughly looked that over.

However Soiree is spelled correctly
www merriam-webster.com/dictionary/soiree

and "the disease" is what the story is about, so I added quotes to it now but otherwise it is suppose to be mysterious.

Whom is my choice over who... it is not incorrectly used

The grammar issue (Last Line in Soiree Description) was just an over site.
I have made corrections and submitted to publisher.
Thanks Again
 
That being Said the book was professionally Edited...
So any issues such as these inside the book are corrected.
Hope you get a chance to read it.

Please tell me what you think!
 
LOL Well its just a title so I take liberties in titles...
the title of the story is the only place Whom is used...
Whom is a endangered species, I am doing my part to keep it from becoming extinct :)
 
Ummmm .....

He would undress her with his eyes and say really awful things…“ Damn Mommy, we need some girls like you back home,” which didn’t even
Click to expand...
If you look in the book you will see that the 'w' of 'which' is also in italics.

Meanwhile, her insides wailed, Get a life, pervert! (LOL) She began to tinker with her cellphone,
Click to expand...

no capital on 'she' and (LOL)? She really said (LOL) in her head while annoyed at the harassment?

isolated room… for let's say a week or two
Click to expand...

spacing either side of ...

She was just about to pass one of those guys yelling, “Free Cell phones get your free cell phones here!” that work in front of all the cellular stores.
Click to expand...

no capital

Not long ago, Ana had some rather intriguing relations with a gentleman of Italian persuasion – who she, once upon a time, fell head over heels with. It had ended in spite and anger when he told her that she
Click to expand...

And here it should be 'whom' :)

"fell' wrong tense. It should be 'had fallen'.
 
Lol would you just read the story for the story and stop nit picking lol
Well thats on my editor... I didnt edit the book
Maybe I can get a discounted rate :)
 
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