Some poetry (warning: very depressing material!!)

[tommydarascal]

Okay, I have tried to do a little poetry in my spare time and have decided to show it to you guys. Any comments would be gratefully accepted. Ps. I know this poetry isn't brilliant so please could you suggest how I can improve? Thanks,

tommydarascal.

Love will never end

We all say love cannot die,
We all say love brings us all up high,
We all say love can never end,
We all say love can never bend.

We all say love is pure and kind,
We all say love is easy to find,
We all say love is within our self,
We all say love is as good as health.

But what is the truth?
What can it be?
Are we all blind?
Can we not see?

Love does bend,
And love must die,
Love may bring us up,
But we fall out the sky.

Love does end,
And love does cheat,
And it falls as dead as a lump of meat.

Love may be pure,
And love may be kind,
But then comes death,
Official and signed,
Love is, of course,
Within our self,
And love is, of course,
As good as health.

So when that health,
Decides to die,
And when we all tumble down from the sky,
And when we all rot,
Dead in our grave,
We have no love left,
None to save.

So tell me now,
If love can die,
If love can bend,
And stays up high …

Tell me now if love cannot end.

Because we all die …
Then love can never mend.


Through me

I stand there,
I stand there,
Smiling, listening.
We laugh together,
Our teeth all-glistening …

He looks and talks,
And smiles
And swears,
The joke is cracked,
And as it shares,
I stand there waiting,
Waiting to see,
Whether their eyes will catch on me …

But no, I’m there,
The standing post,
Silent and grieving,
In this night’s host,
I look away,
And pretend to laugh,
While my tears swarm inside,
Like a running bath …

I feel to scream,
I’m left alone,
Talking into a silent microphone.
Their voices smother,
That of mine,
Dully in my wintertime …

I feel so cold,
I feel so dumb,
My voice dies
And I succumb.
I succumb to loneliness,
And to grief,
And I just listen
To tonight’s chief …

I am stock still,
I am alone,
With an urge to shout and an urge to moan,
But I stay there,
With a smile,
Wondering if life is worthwhile …

Now I tend,
Just to shoo.
I know that I
Am just seen through.

 

[Sagnik]

The first poem is really good!!

 

[Occlith]

I didn't think they were depressing but kinda funny; it probably has to do with the rhyme and rhythm scheme.

And love does cheat,
And it falls as dead as a lump of meat.
​

This reminded me of something I posted on a "bad valentine's poetry" thread. Read the entire thread and you will see, in most cases, the same melodramatic, sing-song approach.

Have you also tried your hand at writing non-rhyming poetry?