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Something I wrote a long time ago.

sonataro

Member
Tale of The Teenage Loser.
Starting in the 7th grade new comer Jenna Matherson came for the first day. Her best friend was there to support her so she had some knowledge of high school. She was bullied last year so she knew some-how some-time she would be bullied again. Starting the school year not knowing anyone except her old friends who did not accept her, she was already depressed, she went with her best friend Terra Jackson. Near an unfamiliar room where her and Terra's friends hung out. They didn't know Jenna and most likely didn't care to. Jenna was only talking to Terra when a bell rang and people headed off to class. Jenna has history with Mr.Light, Jenna rather enjoyed history so armed with new pens, pencils, and binders she found and took her seat. When she took her seat Mr.Light gave his beginning of the year speech. He handed out papers that had to be signed and after an amount of time they were let out. The rest of the day dragged on and Jenna had gotten sick on her 3rd and 4th days. She stayed home and then went back on Friday. A couple weeks later Jenna had only gotten more depressed, Terra pulled her aside while she was walking to her next class. She pointed to a boy and said she liked him. He didn't look special rather plain. Tall, thin looked so serious. How could Terra like him? After about a week Terra and who Jenna learned to be Tom Frash started to date. Terra and her friends including Tom moved toward the front of the school to hang out. Jenna had bursts of happiness and had one when she went home a couple weeks later. She was thinking about a tree she was growing Oranges. She messaged Tom and started to talk to him about her Orange tree and how it was going to be amazing. Tom and Jenna didn't talk about anything serious until about a month. They became friends not close friends just someone they knew. Terra and Tom split for their own reasons. After a while Jenna and Tom had grown closer and Terra was going to be leaving the school. Jenna told Tom about her past about being called terrible things, about being so upset all the time. Tom knew how she felt. Tom understood. After a while Jenna started to talk to a boy her age named Wilson Diaz. They grew close and now with Terra, Wilson, and Tom she felt happy again. Not sad. She began hanging out with old friends. Towards the end of the year her and Wilson were already dating for a while. Tom was graduating and Terra had moved. Jenna missed her dearly. Jenna's brother was going into the air force as well. Jenna was happy about her life and had put everything bad aside. She is now a moderately happy girl with flash backs of her past.

I know the grammar isn't that good, but it's the moral behind the story I wanted to share.
 
If you care about your writing, which I know you do, then you will stop making excuses for its poor spelling and grammar and fix it :) And honestly this piece needs a serious rewrite. It is muddled and really doesn't convey what you want it to properly. As it is written it sounds like getting a boyfriend turns a very depressed girl into a slightly less depressed girl with flashbacks .... really not what you meant right?

- if a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing well -
 
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