Television Poem

[ladybird]

Television Poem

I can’t think of any fun
Cause rain has chased the sun.
All the flowers have closed,
and they are what I love most.
I want to fly to another place,
where I can watch the sun and gaze.
I will feel the flowers bloom
and know the summer’s coming soon.

But still wet raindrops fall down.
If I was outside I would drown.
I dream of vanilla and vetiver,
but I am far from there.
Or maybe I aint?
The black box stands there as a saint.
I’ve got butterflies in my belly
as I am turning on the telly…

 

[Ashlea]

I really like this line:

I dream of vanilla and vetiver

what a great image.

 

[Eugen]

I really like this line:

I dream of vanilla and vetiver

what a great image.

True. The rhyming's good all round. It could do with a bit more imagery and more compression, though.

I’ve got butterflies in my belly
as I am turning on the telly…

Why butterflies? Is it an anticipation? Fear? Of what?

 

[ladybird]

the butterflies are caused by anticipation...for what might be on tv, haha...! well, maybe a little unclear. it's just, as a norwegian expression, butterflies does not appear for any other reason than anticipation. hmmm. however, i am grateful to be told when i do mistakes (simple or huge, and all those things in between).