The Apple of My Eye

[stigmaticman]

You want my all, you had it from the start
I'll give you all my love, go on take it
For you control the rythm of my heart
Its beating in sweet jubilation

Our love is so strong, I hope it lasts
I'd do anything to show you I love you
I'd walk across hot coals or broken glass
But I'd much rather just hug you

I want to be with you forever
I love you more than life itself
Every place we go, we can go together
but if you went to hell, you could go by yourself

 

[Poppy1]

Stig, that is absolutely lovely. I wouldn't go to hell for anyone either.

 

[stigmaticman]

thanx poppy
but I thought you all should know the original statement

the last line was:

And if you went to Hell, I'd go there as well



just thought you'd like to know

 

[stigmaticman]

oh uhhh
which one do you like better?

 

[Poppy1]

The second one sounds like it fits better, but I prefer the first, purely because I wouldn't wish hell on anyone.

 

[*~EMMER~*]

but it totally contradicts the rest of the poem!!!!
well i suppose its up to you...but you've said you would do anything for the person, the cliche ending would be that you would go to hell for them aswell. I guess it just depends if you want to be cliche...
Anyway..i think its really sweet
..and i like cliches

 

[Poppy1]

But the "If you went to hell, you could go by yourself" gives it a sort of level-headedness (that's not quite the word I want, but can't think of a better one at the moment) that stops the poem from being too sentimental, which I quite like.