Lonesome Cowboy
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The Piggly Wiggly Capers (excerpt)
"There she is" Ty McLeod eyes the 10th street Piggly Wiggly. Its doors open wide like a bumpkin´s barn ... " just begging to get robbed" he mumbles. Sitting behind the wheel of his Model T open cab pick up, chewing a fresh wad of "Bull Durham Tabac" , he continues leafing through the week´s "Dearborn Independent" ( "Henry Ford´s paper !" as he loves to remind folks). His buddy Mickey O´Shea sitting next to him, hard at work struggling to load a fat little Tommy gun. Ty squints as he reads a headline :
" Mickey, listen to this : Enough pipeline laid in the West to build bridge from Earth to Moon!"
" Ya don´t say. Now that´s sumthin´ Ty."
" That ain´t all, accordin to Mr. Ford himself sez There´d be plenty of oppor-tu-ni-ty for enterprisin´ young men "
Mickey can´t seem to clip the bagel shaped magazine onto the Tommy gun. His clumsy little fingers slip off the latch.
" Ready?" mumbles Ty, chewing tobacco bulging from his cheek.
" Damn thing! Its jammed" beads of sweat dotting Mickey´s freckled forehead
" Oh for Pete´s sake you idjit! " Ty slaps him with his cowboy hat.
" I told you NOT to buy our heat from those eye-talians on 54th"
" Well Ya ain´t helpin none Ty, ya ain´t helpin´ y´know ?!!"
" Awww shut up ya dumb mick!"
Ty tries to yank the gun from Mickey, they start struggling , tugging at the thing like two kids over a lolipop.
RATATATATATA ! Shhhhhhh!
A bullets rain on 10th street from the sputtering Tommy gun . Women start screaming , cars swerve out of control, little kids call out to their mothers. Ty gets out and starts cranking the model T. Mickey goes pale as water shoots up from the radiator ina 3 foot high spout.
Ty looks up at Mickey, radiator water dripping from his hat " If ya weren´t my cousin I´d shoot ya!"