Untitiled

[Fieldy]

A scar is only as deep as the tragedy felt,
superficial graze from cuts and falls,
a mockery of 'play' is no theatre at all.
Once shy and twice the fool, adversity with its stern face takes a dionysian to rule.
A hero so ill-fated when all is lost is not a peasent like the rest of us;
he is the cowboy, saddled, tightened spurs, for one last virtuous adventure.
whilst the coward, the joker of this spiritual stage ,yells,
"I can't take no more" and slumps to the marble grounded floors.
Heed and admire the man whose truth is to stumble and be a shining bronzed statue;
and always be as constant as the sun,
ad infitum.
Till we explode like spiders in 'candle light - nova'

 

[Vespertilio91]

Very good. I like it bunches. But I got a little confused with the different sizes of the lines, but still going on the same meter. I got over it after the second read. I really like how you compare things in odd ways that still make sense. A good poet always makes new comparisons instead of using cliches.

But I thought the meter was a tad off (no big deal, can easily be remedied). And some parts just didn't go with the others. They seemed to have been put in to lengthen. And a lengthy poem is not always as good as a short concise one.

Altogether, I really liked it.

Rating: 8.5 out of 10.