Acolyte
New Member
Again, I beg for any critique, positive or negative, that you may have to give. I will not improve unless someone points out an error or identifies the best parts.
Upon Finding a Thought-Evoking Photograph Among a Pile of Others
Ross Shingledecker
2/13/04
Their eyes are dazzling, or
more appropriately, dazzled
by repeated camera flashes
Their mouths are smiling, or
in truth, grimacing upwards
jaws clenched from overexposure
He is stiffly at attention, or
more likely, held rigid in a tuxedo
which he has never worn before
She is graceful—yes,
refined, in her elegant black dress
tastefully adorned with a flower
They seem almost forced together
like the vines on the trellis behind them
but both joinings have created beauty
The structure of the trellis reveals the splendor of the vine
the sinuous vine brings glory to the simple trellis
they are more together than each alone could be
He is as unyielding as the whitewashed wood
she has the free beauty of the blooming flowers
together, they weave a harmonious pattern
Upon Finding a Thought-Evoking Photograph Among a Pile of Others
Ross Shingledecker
2/13/04
Their eyes are dazzling, or
more appropriately, dazzled
by repeated camera flashes
Their mouths are smiling, or
in truth, grimacing upwards
jaws clenched from overexposure
He is stiffly at attention, or
more likely, held rigid in a tuxedo
which he has never worn before
She is graceful—yes,
refined, in her elegant black dress
tastefully adorned with a flower
They seem almost forced together
like the vines on the trellis behind them
but both joinings have created beauty
The structure of the trellis reveals the splendor of the vine
the sinuous vine brings glory to the simple trellis
they are more together than each alone could be
He is as unyielding as the whitewashed wood
she has the free beauty of the blooming flowers
together, they weave a harmonious pattern