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Who do you Marry & how do you know they are the one?

Marriage is all about commitment. It's easier to find someone to fall in love with then it is to commit yourself to the relationship. If a person isn't ready for the commitment, then they're not ready for marriage.

It's interesting to hear divorced woman compare notes as to why their marriage failed and it usually comes down to the men not putting enough effort into maintaining the relationship. Most women feel taken for granted. Communications break down and there is a real loss of romance and intimacy, and no I don't mean sex.

Part of it too seems to be that while many women work outside the house, many husbands hold on to the belief that the wife is still fully responsible for cleaning house, cooking meals, and taking care of the children.

I like to keep things intereting. Flowers or cards at unexpected time; breakfast in bed, holding hands when we walk together, preparing a meal or an invitation to diner left where she is sure to find it.
 
Robert said:
Marriage is all about commitment. It's easier to find someone to fall in love with then it is to commit yourself to the relationship. If a person isn't ready for the commitment, then they're not ready for marriage.

It's interesting to hear divorced woman compare notes as to why their marriage failed and it usually comes down to the men not putting enough effort into maintaining the relationship.
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There's some truth in this. The guy who analyzes relationships and predicts, with great accuracy, whether a marriage will last, says that the typical dynamic in a nonworking marriage is that the woman goes on the 'attack', and the guy reacts with stress and backing off. There's no sense of humor or perspective. This could be over an important issue or who left a dirty coffee cup on the counter. The main thing is, it's a common dynamic that really doesn't go anywhere good.

There's a new idea that 'active listening' and counselling and trying to make people talk about things all the time is actually not good. The ability to drop a subject, move on, and get some humor and perspective, is actually more important in getting along.
 
novella said:
The ability to drop a subject, move on, and get some humor and perspective, is actually more important in getting along.
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Perhaps the single most important thing in life in general...at least as far as your overall happiness..IMHO

Very well said....
 
There are also "rules" for arguing (which I wish my hubby believed in :( ) A couple of them are, argue about one thing only, don't drag other issues into it, and no name calling.


Part of it too seems to be that while many women work outside the house, many husbands hold on to the belief that the wife is still fully responsible for cleaning house, cooking meals, and taking care of the children.
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I saw a piece on a morning news show about this. Someone did a study and wrote a book. He found that, especially in a two-income marriage, when a husband does housework routinely, he enjoys more and better sex and the marriage, in general, is stronger. That makes perfect sense. What wife has the energy for sex when she's worked a full shift then has to come home and put in a second full shift cleaning the house and tending the kids? Unfortunately for me, my hubby saw this. :rolleyes: So he dusts all the cieling fans then looks at me expectantly....
 
i want to address the whole "bridezilla" thing for a minute. first off, i don't think you HAVE to have a huge affair, but i think a lot of people have missed the point in why some couples do have a big fancy bash. a marriage is a special thing- many people like to celebrate it with a special day. special clothes, food, the place and the people you love- it marks the day even more as different from the rest. my husband and i would have had a small beach wedding in Mexico, but we were the first weddings on both sides of our families so we didn't want to disappoint. 140 people is the smallest we could trim our guest list down to, and we even skipped some people we probably should have invited (i still get shit over it occasionally when i run into certain ppl). planning the wedding helped bring my mum-in-law and i closer together (she's one of my best friends now). my family's singing group sang all the ceremony songs. my point is that big weddings aren't necessarily about materialism.
yes, the day is special no matter what, but special clothes, food and people are things that can really mark a day.

also, the idea that marriage is about religion is only true in some areas and to some people. we don't believe in organized religion (our ceremony was outdoors and didn't include religious references) but we wanted to get married. living in sin, illegitimate children- none of that stuff means anything to either myself or my husband. but our marriage means something. i guess i should count myself lucky to have grown up in Canada.
 
novella said:
... The ability to drop a subject, move on, and get some humor and perspective, is actually more important in getting along.
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It depends on the individual. I can usually drop things, but my wife has a real need to talk about what's bothering her.
 
A wedding is a very special day, so share it with as many or as few as you feel confortable with.

The only real difference between a religious wedding and a non-religious wedding is that in a religious wedding, the couple is asking God's blessing on the union.
 
Robert said:
The only real difference between a religious wedding and a non-religious wedding is that in a religious wedding, the couple is asking God's blessing on the union.
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Or Satan's depending on the religion.... :D
 
"sorry to highjack the thread, but there comes one question to mind: is Satanism a cult or a religion? i always thought it's a cult but i could be wrong..."
 
honeydevil said:
"sorry to highjack the thread, but there comes one question to mind: is Satanism a cult or a religion? i always thought it's a cult but i could be wrong..."
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The only diffrence between a cult and a religion is the number of people who follow it.
 
Satan is part of Christianity. Without Satan, the whole concept falls apart. All good Christians believe in the power of Satan. As many people believe in Satan as believe in Christ. That's a big number of people, but not as many as those who believe in ancestor worship.

Without the bad guy, how do you know the good guy is all that great? After all, Henry Fonda always needs someone to shoot.
 
Depends on which side of the glass you're looking from I guess. Many consider Scientology to be a cult, but I'm pretty sure those who follow Scientology consider themselves to be a religion just as credible as any mainsteam christian cult...I mean religion....
 
i think it is more like how much power and influence you have...

@ novella, yeah satan is a part of christianity, but there are also people who worship him...

Do you think that the follower of Satanism think of themself as the good guy, or do you think they "know" they are the "bad" guys and they like it...?
 
Does a person who does not worship Satan correctly go to heaven???? :D


Oops...no religion here, I keep pushing the edge...sorry....


peace out....
 
Moto, from a sociological perspective, the organization of a religious group also counts in how it is classified, and there are four ways terms involved. My explanations wouldn't be perfect if you read them with a mind to critique, but they get the idea across, even while being completely off topic as well lol.

An ecclesia is a widespread faith system that is integrated into or predominates the political structure of a society.

A denomination is a subgroup of a religion that is longstanding and widely practiced.

A sect is a small religious group that has branched off of a larger one, and may cause tension in the greater society, but still holds views within the mainstream of that society.

A cult is distinguished from a sect in that the ideas they propose are new, innovative and perhaps highly contrasted to that of the mainstream.

One of the biggest differences between a cult and a sect is that sects usually seek to return to something they percieve as more traditional (they are conservative) whereas cults usually propose a radical change in beliefs or practices from the larger religion they branched away from.

honeydevil, Satanism's classification would be determined by what religious group one originally considered them a part of. If it were Christian, then they would be a cult, but I think that would be inaccurate, as they don't worship the devil, or even necessarily believe in one (though they usurped the name) that fits into the Christian mythology.

AFAI can tell, they're mere hedonists, which is not original or new, and pleasure seeking might not be considered religious by the mainstream in most cases, but it certainly doesn't rock the boat to practice it either. So I would vote for sect myself.
 
Do you think that the follower of Satanism think of themself as the good guy, or do you think they "know" they are the "bad" guys and they like it...?
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They know they are the "bad" guys, they see themselves as their own gods, and want to be individuals. And going along with the marriage theme of the thread, the founder was married, divorced, and had kids in and out of wedlock...just doing his thing, I guess... And I suppose it was only fitting that his third child be a son named Satan.

This is from www.churchofsatan.com:
Anton Szandor LaVey (1930—1997) was the founder of the Church of Satan, the first organized church in modern times promulgating a religious philosophy championing Satan as the symbol of personal freedom and individualism. Unlike the founders of other religions, who claimed exalted “inspiration” delivered through some supernatural entity, LaVey readily acknowledged that he used his own faculties to synthesize Satanism, based on his understanding of the human animal and insights gained from earlier philosophers who advocated materialism and individualism. Concerning his role as founder, he said that, “If he didn’t do it himself, someone else, perhaps less qualified, would have.”
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By the end of 1969, LaVey had taken monographs he had written to explain the philosophy and ritual practices of the Church of Satan and melded them with all of his philosophical influences from Ayn Rand, Nietzsche, Mencken, and London along with the base wisdom of the carnival folk.
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...carnival folk :p
 
Self Police Patrol !!!!!

Self Police Patrol !!!!! Self Police Patrol !!!!! Self Police Patrol !!!!!


We must refrain from any and all topics that are religious in nature. This forum is for anything outside of books, but must remain clear of religion and political discusion or else the mods. will lock the thread and send us all a pm with a slap on the wrist for not playing fair.


please heed this warning and get back on topic....

How can you tell if someone is "THE" one to marry?

this is the self police patrol.....exiting stage left....carry on :eek:
 
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