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yin§yang poem

stigmaticman

stigmaticman

Active Member
The Sun rises in the morning
It's the dawn of a new Day
The Sun sets in the eve-ning
the curtains close: The End

The moon has cycles
Just like a woman
The Sun is constant
like a man hard at his work
 
Like the metaphors/similes you use in this Stig. Also you manage to get a number of yin-yang qualities in just a few short lines. Day/night, sun/moon, man/woman, beginning/end, constancy/change. Clever :)
 
Is that not a little misogynistic? The idea of the man being constant but the female being changeable? Many women also work very hard and consistently... :)

I'm only semi-serious, don't worry... I know it is not intended as chauvinist, but it is worth considering the 'feminist reading' of such images. Why do we see the sun as male and the moon as female?

Interestingly, in Tolkien's universe (here I go again) the sun is female and the moon male. In that the moon seems to chase the shining sun across the sky, taking his light from her, occasionally coming close but generally watching from afar or being separated by the width of the earth. Tolkien's early love life was much like this!

Your poem has a nice zen-like feel to it all the same, Stig.
 
I really enjoyed this, but have only one problem. I was wondering when you changed stanzas, why you started with the Sun in stanza 1, but switched to the Moon and jumped to Sun in stanza 2. I think it might flow better if you switch the first two lines of stanza 2 with the second two lines, and edit to a rhythm.

All else, I cannot find much I do not like. To be totally truthful, I think this is a wonderful poem. Great job!
 
Vespertilio91 said:
I really enjoyed this, but have only one problem. I was wondering when you changed stanzas, why you started with the Sun in stanza 1, but switched to the Moon and jumped to Sun in stanza 2. I think it might flow better if you switch the first two lines of stanza 2 with the second two lines, and edit to a rhythm.

All else, I cannot find much I do not like. To be totally truthful, I think this is a wonderful poem. Great job!
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It's yin-yang though Vespertilio. It makes sense to have one verse about the sun and one about the moon.
 
Vespertilio91 said:
I just said that he should switch them around, not change their content. I like it.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I get what you mean. Just like the way it starts one with the sun, the other with the moon. :)
 
GreenKnight said:
Why do we see the sun as male and the moon as female?
Click to expand...
Actually, I noticed that in Spanish, el dia is day and la noche is night. So, day is masculine and night is feminine. Also, el sol is sun and la luna is moon.

Plus, night's prettier than day, so I think we deserve it. :p J/K
 
Night is prettier, yes, but day is more deadly. That's why the men are the sun. We are most often the more brutal of the two.
 
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